Russia Bans The Words “Cock” and “Cunt” Because They Have Nothing Better To Do

There's so little happening in Russia these days, so President Vladimir Putin can turn his attention to more pressing matters, like banning the words "cock" and "cunt" from Russian films.

According to AVN (link below), Putin signed a ban on so-called "mat" words into law on Monday.

The word "mat" is an abbreviated form of the verb "materit" which roughly translates to "to scold someone's mother." Commonly invoked in all-male milieus, especially prisons and the army, mat is founded on several base words, including "khuy" (cock), "pizda" (cunt), "ebat'" (to fuck) and "blyad" (whore or bitch).

So what happens to offenders? Well, they won't be shipped off to a gulag or anything. At least not for a first offense...

To ensure the sanctity of Russian speech, individuals and officials in violation of the ban could face fines of $40-$70 and businesses could face fines up to $1,400, the state news agency ITAR-Tass reported.

Look, those fake tiger-killing publicity stunts aren't going to pay for themselves.

On behalf of Russians everywhere, this proud American would like to say "fuck Vladimir Putin, right in his cunt, with some whore's cock!" God Bless America!

Via AVN