My Entrance Into the World of Sex by jessica drake

While in high school, I had my first experience with love. J was my first boyfriend. Tall, athletic, tan, and blonde. In an instant, hormones raged between us, and I lost all sense of control. We wanted to be together everywhere, all the time. Attending separate schools and parental intervention made this tough, so we both snuck out at every opportunity. We kissed, we made out, pet heavily, and dry humped until we were raw. We clumsily fumbled through awkward phone sex. We "borrowed" cars; we skipped school. We were uncontrollable. Eventually, between his begging and pleading, and hormones setting my pants on fire, one night after a dance, we had ferocious sex up against a wall behind my school. 

My sex education growing up was really limited. I never recall my father acknowledging sex at all, and my mother explained the words PENIS and VAGINA in a way that was clinical at best. That being said, I was always very curious and cautious, even at 14 and 15. I read about sex in bookstores and encyclopedias. I knew about safe sex, so when I lost the battle of willpower versus raging hormones up against the red brick wall, it was with a condom. I wasn't so smart about concealing the evidence, however.

Not long after, my mother discovered poorly hidden shorts and panties stained with blood, which could only have attested to one thing. I was thrown into the car, and driven immediately to her doctor, where, in between her screaming at me and interrogating me, I was tested for every sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy, and even HIV. I was humiliated. She said I was stupid, called me a slut, and though I didn't know the meaning it of it or the implications it would have on me, I was shamed.

Please don't take that to mean I stopped having sex. I didn't.  I became sneakier about it, and at the same time, I grew a deep resentment for my mother. Though I did view sex as slightly shameful for a short time afterward, I decided its risk was well worth the reward.

Becoming an adult, I quickly grew to learn there was no shame in sex or my body or the pleasure derived from it. I was very headstrong and determined as a child (not that this surprises anyone who knows me today), and I made it my business to understand sex more... and now it's my business to make sure other people are able to understand sex a little better and to know there's no shame in it. No shame in our bodies, what they do, how they feel, what we like to do or have done to them. 

--jd

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About jessica drake:

jessica drake is an exclusive Wicked Pictures contract performer, writer, and director, as well as a global humanitarian and emerging sexual wellness authority.  The three-time AVN Best Actress recipient's brilliant career continues to move forward with ambitious adult productions like Brad Armstrong’s “Underworld” and "Aftermath," "Snow White XXX: An Axel Braun Parody," and instructional releases for “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex.  In “Guide to Wicked Sex,” jessica brings erotic topics to life through intimate demonstrations performed by some of today's hottest adult stars. Each volume addresses different aspects of human sexuality explored with a distinct blend of knowledge, experience, and good humor, which is refreshing for the sexual self-help genre.  For more information, visit www.GuideToWickedSex, www.Twitter.com/thejessicadrake, or www.Twitter.com/Guide2WickedSex.

Check out all of jessica's columns this week right here: jessica drake Week.