Goat-Fucking and Protests: Newsworthy Sex 2015 off to a Great Start

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women

Every time a new year rolls around, I’m curious to see what sort of sex-related headlines crop up in early January, hoping they will help to set the tone for the rest of the year to come. If the first few days of 2015 are any indication for what we have in store, it’s going to be one hell of a year.

The first thing to catch my (admittedly warped) eye was a headline which read: “Man arrested for ‘having sex with goat’ admits romps with 10 animals in the bush.”

There’s just so much to love about that headline, starting with the quotation marks around the words having sex with goat. As I read it over again a few times, I couldn’t stop picturing Wolf Blitzer saying it, and making little air quote gestures with his hand when he gets to “having sex with goat.”

Unfortunately for American goat-fucking enthusiasts possibly hoping for livestock dating tips from the lady-goat’s-man in question, Malam Kamisu isn’t from around these parts; he was arrested in Jigawa State, Nigeria.

While Nigeria has gone to great lengths to let people know how wrong homosexuality is, there has been perhaps a bit less emphasis on the ethics of animal fucking – although Mr. Kamisu does concede that he knew it was “an offense to society and against Islamic injunctions” to have sex with a goat.

Schtupping a sheep the administrators of Nigeria’s version of shariah could understand, maybe, but doing the nasty with a goat? Shit, that’s almost as wrong as converting to Christianity!

On the American sex-news front for early ‘15, I didn’t find much in the way of people fucking things other than their fellow humans (give it time; the year is young), but thanks to the steadfast cretins over at the Westboro Baptist Church, I did find plenty of news about Americans who disapprove of the way other Americans fuck, and by extension, the way a particular subset of fucking Americans chose to spend their lives together.

Continuing to display the firm grasp on logic and reason for which they are so famous, the Westborons are now targeting a basketball game between the Portland Trailblazers and Orlando Magic for protest.

To be fair, protesting the Trailblazers almost makes sense from the perspective of an anti-gay group, because the Trailblazers as an organization recently endorsed the idea of same-sex marriage, but the Magic’s sin is a little more subtle: the team’s transgression is to hail from a state which recently lifted its ban against same-sex marriage.

Say what you will about the Westborons, but when it comes to inventively nonsensical reasons for ceaselessly frothing at the mouth with inane, homophobic bullshit, they simply have no rival.

“The Portland Trail Blazers punched the Lord Jesus Christ in the face,” the group stated in the press release. “There was absolutely no reason for the Portland Trail Blazers to throw in their lot with the fags except to gratuitously kiss fag ass. The Portland Trail Blazers should REPENT and apologize to God.”

Judging by the Trailblazer’s current 27-8 record, good enough for second in the insanely competitive Western Conference of the NBA, I’d say God appears to have missed the memo about how pissed off He is supposed to be at the Trailblazers.

On a related note, assuming God is an NBA fan as the Westbor press release suggests, I guess the New York Knicks and Philadelphia 76ers must have been up to something truly awful in the offseason. Has anybody checked the teams’ travel records to see if they played summer exhibition games near Jigawa State, Nigeria?

About Coleen Singer:

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com (@ssshforwomen), where she often waxes eloquent about Female Friendly Porn, sex, pleasure products, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

 
Visit Coleen at Sssh.com for more kinky sex news and original movies for Women and Couples.