James Joyce Loved Anal & Other Titillating Tidbits About Famous Authors

Disclaimer: To the best of my knowledge, James Joyce never engaged in anal sex with any women sporting large breasts and a tattoo above their vagina. I would, however, love to be proven wrong about this.

Anyone who has taken even a 101-level literature course knows that most authors are tortured souls. Many, like Hemingway and Nabokov, wrote openly about sex, but others reserved that kind of stuff for their personal correspondences. A new article from Bustle (link below) shines a light on five authors who loved to write about sex and desire when they weren't writing the great novels of all time. 

Take James Joyce for example. Apparently his Catholic upbringing not only informed his best writing, it also gave him some pretty strong desires to fuck his wife Nora from behind after thoroughly worshipping her ass...

His letters to his wife Nora, which were published in 1975, long after his 1941 death, basically start at 10 on the smutty scale, and just keep going from there. They were like the Fast and Furious of sexually explicit letters. To begin with just the tip of the iceberg, this is how a 1909 letter from James to Nora began.

“My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or fling you down under me on that softy belly of yours and f*ck you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the very stink and sweat that rises from your arse, glorying in the open shape of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.”

I wonder if Nora ever grew tired of his flowery prose and said, "Just fuck me in the arse already James, you're putting me to sleep!" That line is from my upcoming James Joyce porn parody Finnegan's Snake. 

Joyce wasn't the only one who got a little frisky in letters to loved ones. Ol' Nana Bankshot's favorite author, Edith Wharton, was also known to class up her sexy thoughts in writing...

After 20 years of marriage, Edith had an affair with suave journalist Morton Fullerton in 1908, before divorcing her husband in 1913.

But like all bad boyfriends, Fullerton’s good times were really good. For proof, check out this letter that Wharton wrote to Fullerton at the start of their affair:

“There would have been the making of an accomplished flirt in me, because my lucidity shows me each move of the game – but that, in the same instant, a reaction of contempt makes me sweep all the counters off the board and cry out: – ‘Take them all – I don’t want to win – I want to lose everything to you!’”

Nana Bankshot must be turning over in her grave at the sound of this. Good thing my Pep-Pep's favorite author, the guy who writes all those tiny words on a bottle of Jack Daniels, was not featured in this piece.

Via Bustle