Best Ever OKCupid Names

As a dude, it's tough to get the love you deserve on OKCupid. The statistics are not in your favor—women typically answer one in every five messages they receive. There are a few necessary ingredients to OKCupid mastery: One is the sparkling personality you display on your profile, and another is your very first message. 

Once you have the wit cornered, you only need one more thing: a good username, of course. Not sure where to start? Take a cue from these Gems of the Internet. They know what's up. 

DildoGaggins

I see you, LOTR perv. 

ChodeRed 

Is it just a sexual play on words? Is it a hint? I don't know. 

Rampaging_CumBuckets

I like cum as much as the next woman, but I'm not into torrential blasts of it, thank you. 

GenitalWart

Honesty is the best policy. 

YourTeethAreWrong

goblinpiledriver

This is an unfortunate mental image. But hey, you might get along with DildoGaggins!

PoopLips

What?!

Taco_Belle

I wish I had thought of this one myself, TBH. 

thehonestyfish

Lying fish are the worst. 

dick-nipples

You learn something new every day. 

DefinitelyNota_Rapist

Phew. Glad we cleared that up. 

CalmUrTits

PornFlakes

Heh. 

WontMessageFirst

......

MicrowavedGerbil

Run. Run fast. 

Phantorgasm

What does this mean? Are your orgasm silent? Do they not happen at all? Are they paranormal, like in "It Follows?" I feel scared, yet intrigued. 

ANALCAVITIES

ENTHUSIASM.

TheLogicofToast

Is this on Broadway?

Disembodied

Alright then. 

PoopLips

I can't.

GirthZilla

Do you want me to be afraid of your penis? 

True_Scumbag

You know, I wish everyone would be this up front. 

turndown4brunch

Alright. So I would date that guy.