Every day I get a list of statistics sent to my phone just so I have something to get fucking indignant about. Did you know, for example, that 43% of women have had anal sex, or that a full 78% of all statistics are made up? Let's take a look at two more shocking statistics that have me up in arms this week...

New data shows the number of teenagers who have sex continues to drop

Time Magazine, aka Buzzkill Weekly, recently unveiled some startling statistics that have been gathered regarding teens and sex over the last 25 years...

The number of teens from ages 15 to 19 who have had sex dropped 14% for females and 22% for males over the past 25 years, revealed new data published by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) National Center for Health Statistics. According to the new report, which uses national survey data from 2011-2013, 44% of female teens reported having sex at least one time and 47% of men reported the same.

I'm a little bummer that I was not polled for this study as I spent 1994 through part of 1999 as a 15-19 year old, and certainly the amount of sex I was not having might have actually strengthened their hypothesis. 

The report shows that in the early teenage years, male teens were more likely than female teens to report having had sex, but by age 17, the rates were similar.

I guarantee close to 100% of those 15 and 16 year old males were lying. Like a number so close to 100% without being 100% they couldn't calculate it accurately based on the available data.

Most teenagers said they used contraceptives. From 2011-2013, 79% of females and 84% of males said they used a contraceptive when they had sex for the first time and condoms were used most often. The data also shows that 60% of female teens said they had used withdrawal as a contraceptive method and 54% had used the pill.

Ah, pulling out. I remember those days. Perhaps my memory of them is so clear because it's been as recent as this week that I've used the pull-out method. 

The CDC also reports that teenage women who did not use a contraceptive during their first sexual intercourse were twice as likely to become teen mothers compared to their peers who did use birth control.

I would also like to see the statistics on how many of those teen mothers were offered reality shows. Don't you just love our culture!

This is the best city on earth to have sex with a married person

Also this week we're discovering, thanks to the Ashley Madison hack, that Canada's capitol city of Ottawa has the highest percentage of subscribers to the "discreet" website than any other city in the world.

One in five Ottawa residents allegedly subscribed to adulterers’ website Ashley Madison, making one of the world’s coldest capitals among the hottest for extra-marital hookups – and the most vulnerable to a breach of privacy after hackers targeted the site.

“Everybody says Ottawa is a sleepy town and here we are with 200,000 people running around on each other,” said municipal employee Jon Weaks, 27, as he took a break at an outdoor cafe near the nation’s Parliament.

I wonder if they chose not to transcribe the "eh" he almost certainly added to the end of that sentence. 

“I think a lot of people will be questioned tonight at dinner,” added colleague Ali Cross, 28.

Uh oh, did they inadvertently expose another philandering couple? I'm willing to bet that Margie Weaks, Jon's lovely wife of four years and mother to his three year old son Brent, did some questioning of her own that night.

"Oh, you're goin' ta lunch with Ali, eh?" She says as he walks in the door and hangs up his Pharrell hat.

"Margie, you know Ali, she's the cute blonde that works at the desk adjacent mine, eh."

"Oh, so she's cute, is she?"