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‘Twas the Night Before XXXmas

EDITORIAL FEATURES

'Twas the night before XXXmas, When all through the house
Not a person wore clothing, not even a blouse;
The harness was hung by the bedpost with care,
In hopes that a strap-on soon she would wear;

The neighbors were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of vibrators danced in their heads;
And wifey in her G-string, her ass in my lap,
Had just readied my wang for a long winter's fap,

When out by the door there arose such a ruckus,
I sprang from my bed to ask, “What da fuck this?”
Away from the lube drawer I flew like a flash,
Put on my boxers before I could smash.

The moon shining bright on the new-fallen snow,
I threw open the door and promptly yelled “woah,”
‘Cause what to my wandering eyes did appear,
But a black, studded sleigh that began to draw near,

With a beautiful driver so sexy and slick,
I knew in a moment she wanted the dick.
More rapid than ‘Raris her carrier came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called us by name:

"Now, Donald! now, Deborah! Meet Rhonda and Jaden!
Meet, Ashley! and, Roger! and, Holland and Braden!
Let’s all get off the porch! Let’s all run down the hall!
Now to your room! To your room! An orgy for all!"

As we pondered our lives this fine Christmas Eve,
We thought to ourselves, what the hell—why should they leave?
So out of the carriage six people did shoo,
With a bag of sex toys, and a riding crop too—

And then, in a moment, they emptied their sacks,
They unveiled their cocks and they showed off their racks.
As I ushered them in and was turning around,
To the bedroom they went, and all in one bound.

They’d come all in leather, from their head to their feet,
And pulled out thick ropes to use as a treat;
When they took out their handcuffs and pushed us aside,
We knew at the moment we were in for a ride.

Their breasts—how they jiggled! The oral, how merry!
Their cocks were like hoses, pussies like cherry!
There was sex in the closet, sex in the hall,
There was sex in the bathroom and ball gags for all;

The tip of my cock she held soft in her lips,
And my wife got to try her hand wielding a whip;
The whole room did gasp and the whole room did sigh,
And not for one moment did we ever ask, “Why?”

Soon after ballgags and orgasms galore,
We each drifted to sleep, and each started to snore.
We woke in the morning, the sky clear and bright,
But none of the sex elves were anywhere in sight.

We spoke not a word, but went straight to the tree,
We opened our presents; and rejoiced with such glee.
What a Christmas it was, an orgy so hot!
We’d never have dreamed it, we'd given it no thought. 

I turned to my wife and I said with great care, 
Merry XXXmas to all, there's such fun to share!

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