Only in Florida: Dildos Are for Love, Not Hate

If You're Not Going to Use It Right...

In my column Only in Florida, I'll be taking you down to the Sunshine State for the latest and greatest sex stories that can only be found in the craziest state in the union.

Don't you hate to see someone using something wrong? From new technology to old, when someone doesn't really know what they are doing, it can really rub you the wrong way. One Florida Man hasn't figured out that a dildo is meant for love, not hate.

Florida police officers received a call about Donald Hornback trespassing, and when they arrived, they found him sleeping. While attempting to get him to leave the property, Mr. Hornback went into his bag and pulled out a large dildo. The reports don't say the length, width, and color of the dildo, so we just have to use our imaginations. Mr. Hornback then proceeded to swing the dildo at the officers. Since a dildo is not considered a deadly weapon, the officers subdued Mr. Hornback without firing a single shot.

Of course, there is also no mention of why Mr. Hornback had a giant dildo in his bag.

Dildos are tools of pleasure, not hate. They are meant to be used in the happiest of times. Hopefully, now Mr. Hornback will learn his lesson to use dildo for love.

via the smoking gun