This week, I stumbled upon what Redditors think of porn and how it differs from real world sex. Don't get me wrong—I love porn (obviously), but it's still performance art, and some of these points are pretty damn funny.
Sleeping with the help
According to celebrity news, apparently the nanny fantasy is the only one that actually comes true. But I wouldn't get too down on this. You never know what might happen.
Getting naked
Hey, I once kicked over a water glass and a Macbook at the same time. I have chaotic undressing down pat and I'm damn proud of it.
Sticking it in
"Diving vagina first" sounds immensely painful, if I'm being honest.
LubePt. 298374
This should never happen. Ever. I don't care how much saliva you make. Stop right there.
Pulling out
I always wondered about this. Doesn't it feel better to come inside something??
Sizing the ship
This is much more entertaining than envisioning a ruler.
Redefining outdoorsy
I, on the other hand, love illicit outdoor sex.
PIZZA
I feel like I've been letting pizza guys down for years.
Reaching a dead end
Yeah, there's no trap door at the end of that.
Facials certainly have their appeal, but it isn't a physical one.
Asians
Unless you see in 8-bit, you're SOL.
What do you guys think? Anything else that's crazy different in real life than it is in porn?