A Nude Mars Will Leave You Red

Nothing May Happen on Mars, But Mars Sure Is Sexy

Mars, the red planet and our closet neighbor, has always been such a mystery to us. There is now talk of sending people to Mars to live. Honestly, you couldn't pay me enough money to move to Mars. There are no restaurants, Amazon Prime isn't a thing there, and there is no topless Mars on Mars. 

Yes, her name is Mars. I did some checking and to the best of my ability, all I could do is confirm her name is Mars. Mars, just like the planet, just like the God of War, and just like the candy bar that no one eats. But unlike all those other things this Mars is really freaking hot. I mean, she's like crazy hot. The fact that her name is Mars kind of makes her just a little bit hotter. I don't know if that is even possible because her named could Sepia Tone Astro-Magnet and she'd still have some of the finest breasts any of us have seen in a long time.

Though, it does make her seem a little unreal. I mean, is it possible for there to be someone named Mars who is this incredibly hot? Maybe she is an alien robot sent to take over the world. You know, a super sexy robot would do more damage than some huge killing machine with laser eyes. Mars, I don't know if you're real or not, but one thing is for certain: You are a super sexy hottie either way.

photos by Jordan Owen