Like most people, I am pretty sure you have occasionally just shaken your head at a movie and wondered what the fuck the characters on-screen (or really, the writers who created the scenario) were fucking thinking when they do just the most short-sighted or just plain dumb shit. Here are, in no particular order, ten hot movie characters where you can at least enjoy the fuck out of looking at them while you shake your head in disapproval over what they are working with upstairs.
10) Sigourney Weaver as Dana Barrett/Zuul in "Ghostbusters" (1984)
So, Weaver in the role of Dana Barrett had to leave her fancy Central Park West apartment after the items in her fridge come alive as part of the supernatural hijinks that ensue. She gets Ghostbuster help, but for some fucking stupid reason, she goes back into that apartment after that crap went down. If my eggs started cooking themselves, you can keep my deposit - I'm not going back in there. Luckily for us, though, her going back in means that she gets possessed and becomes the sexy Zuul.
9) Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda Gershwin in "A Fish Called Wanda" (1988)
Curtis was just hot as fuck during the 1980s, but wow, her character in this movie surrounds herself with some of the most stupid men alive played by Kevin Kline, Michael Pain, and Tom Georgeson in this jewel heist comedy. Everything that can go wrong for diamond thief Curtis and her cohorts does because the men are all dumb/flawed and yeah, I have no idea why anyone trying to be a criminal would have hooked up with this bunch. When she fucks John Cleese to get the diamonds, Kline makes it so her efforts are a failure. Lame! She is so hot and she could do so much better!
8) Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity in "The Matrix Reloaded" (2003)
Moss plays Keanu Reeves' character's super-hot and supposedly super-tough girlfriend in this series and wow, she looks fine naked, chilling out with Reeves. My issue with her is that for someone so bad ass, she needs rescuing a whole lot. She even gets kidnapped and needs rescuing and for whatever reason, she decides not to use all of her badassery to rescue her own damn self. She basically does nothing but chauffeur Reeves around in the last movie in the series like some BDSM-outfitted soccer mom. So yeah, I love the eye candy but Trinity bugs me. She should have put her big girl pants on and kicked some ass like Neeo was.
7) Catherine Schell as Lady Claudine Litton in "The Return of The Pink Panther" (1976)
Schell plays the wife of a master criminal (played by Chritopher Plummer) in this entry in the goofy, slapstick series starring Peter Sellers. Schell has managed to steal the world's biggest diamond AKA The Pink Panther. She is being pursued by idiot police detective Jacques Clousot and all she really has to do is keep her mouth shut and wait things out for that rock to be hers. Instead, she admits to her husband that she swiped the diamond and hands it over to him. Seriously? You keep that thing in a sock for twenty years somewhere and you don't say anything! Well, at least Clousot gets to spy on the sexy aristocrat even if she can't manage to pull off a crime.
6) Arija Bareikis as Kate in "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo" (1999)
I am a woman who one thousand percent supports a woman hiring a man whore of her very own, even if it happens in the middle of an Adam-Sandler-directed movie but seriously, Kate is beautiful! She is missing a legs, not her eyes! She could definitely and should definitely score a MUCH HOTTER guy than Rob Schneider and it sucks that apparently she has chosen not to. C'mon, girl!
5) Beverly D'Angelo as Ellen Griswold in "Vacation" (1983)
Ellen Griswold was all into taking a family vacation but she wanted to fly the family to and from California for their trip to Walley World. It is was her moron sorta-cheating-on-her-with-Christie Brinkley husband played by Chevy Chase who insists on making the trip in the family car. With all of the shit that goes down on this trip in the name of comedy, she really should have stuck to her guns on getting on that plane. Her tits are just fucking gorgeous in this movie, regardless.
4) Kate Hudson as Tess in "Fool's Gold" (2008)
Hudson's character in this makes almost the polar opposite bad choice as my number six pick makes. Her husband that she wants to divorce loves to cheat on her and generally emotionally abandon her. He also looks phenomenal without a shirt on and fucks her like a champ so she goes along with letting him treat her like crap while she looks fine as wine in a bikini. God, she has a great ass. Hot or not, she should have sent Matthew McConaughey all the way to the curb and left him there.
3) Rachel McAdams as Allie in "The Notebook" (2003)
A whole lot of people looooove this romantic movie but let's not forget how Ryan Gosling's character got a date out of Allie in this. He climbs a Ferris wheel that she is riding while she is on a date with someone else and he dangles himself in front of her, threatening to let go unless he agrees to go out on a date with her. Yeah, a guy who will blackmail you into a date like that really is not a keeper, even if it is Gosling but we do get a fine view of McAdams' truly awesome rack here.
2) Madonna as Amber in "Swept Away" (2002)
Madonna stars as a rich bitch named Amber who gets stranded on an island in this not very romantic or all that funny romantic comedy. She is stranded with a butler on the ship who basically only agrees to feed and help her out if she waits on him hand and foot and goes along with him treating her like crap. This shitty treatment from him for some reason makes the two fall in love in this remake of a 1970's Italian comedy.
Ugh.
Amber, learn to fucking fish and leave that asshole be. Don't take that shit!
This does have some very sexy shots of Madonna's exposed tits and ass and co-stars Elizabeth Banks and Jeanne Tripplehorn show off their hot AF bikini bodies.
And...
1) Ashlynn Yennie and Ashley C. Williams as Lindsey and Jenny in "The Human Centipede" (2009)
If you are a broad traveling abroad, don't act as ditzy as these two women do in this movie. Don't end up in a broken-down car in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere in a foreign country. As far as bad choices go, the ones that these two hotties make pretty much take the cake but really, neither of them are in a good position to eat cake or anything else after all is said and, yeah, done.
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