“I want to be used.” That’s the fantasy. Laid out, legs spread, eyed like meat at a butcher’s window. Or maybe it’s the opposite: You want to use someone… throat, hole, body, as an object of pleasure. No names, no feelings, just need. Filthy? Sure. But according to kinksters who practice it mindfully, the objectification kink is less about dehumanization and more about devotion.
But here’s the sticky part, dear reader: our culture is already marinated in nonconsensual objectification, especially of women and femmes. So, how do we separate the patriarchal poison from the playful power games?
The objectification kink isn’t the problem; misogyny is. To understand the objectification kink, you have to understand what misogyny is and what it isn’t. Misogyny isn’t just man-hating or even strictly about hatred; it’s about a system of control rooted in punishment, entitlement, and power-over dynamics toward women and femmes. It’s the tired belief that women exist either to be used or revered but never seen as whole humans.
The objectification kink, when done right, says “yes, use me” or “yes, I’ll use you”, but only because we both want it. Big difference.
When objectification is consensual, negotiated, and rooted in trust, it becomes a radical act. It allows us to play with power, strip down roles, and get off on being more or less than human, without losing our humanity.
Still, a valid concern pops up: isn’t pretending to be “just a thing” constantly reinforcing something dangerous? Does saying “fuck me like I’m a Fleshlight” mean we’re one groan away from flattening our partner’s personhood?
Not exactly. Intent (and consent) changes everything.
Let’s break it down: being objectified non-consensually often feels demeaning, disorienting, or worse. That’s walking down the street and being whistled at like a prize pig. That’s a Tinder date who talks to your tits and not your face. But being objectified consensually? That’s roleplay. That’s reclamation. That’s erotic alchemy.
Sometimes, feeling like “a piece of juicy meat” is precisely the turn-on. Not because you’ve lost personhood, but because you chose to relinquish it for the scene, for the moment, for the mindfuck. It's the sacrifice of ego for eroticism.
In the hands of a respectful dom or loving partner, being used becomes a ceremony. Erotic objectification can mean being worshipped like a statue, posed like a doll, treated like a divine vessel, or, yes, even fucked like a toy.
And for the objectifier? The power comes with weight. You’re not “doing whatever you want”, you’re doing exactly what your partner wants, because they told you with every moan, squirm, and pre-negotiated safe word.
Here’s the juicy paradox: many folks who enjoy being objectified don’t feel degraded; they feel exalted.
In kinky practice, to say “I want to be used” often translates to: “I want your total focus. I want to be the thing you crave so much you forget your own name.” That’s not misogyny. That’s poetry. And if you’re worried that being into objectification makes you a misogynist? You’re probably not. Because the actual misogynists don’t ask that question, they just take.
Want to explore your objectification kink without replicating harm? Here’s your mini map:
Objectification isn’t automatically misogynistic. When it’s rooted in respect and consent, it stops being insulting and starts feeling intensely hot. Misogyny uses “object” like an insult. But in kink? It can feel like a compliment, a role, a fantasy, even a gift.
Being “used” can feel like being wanted in the most overwhelming way. Like your whole body is a magnet for someone else’s craving… And when it’s something you choose? That kind of surrender can be an incredible, erotic high. So, the next time someone says objectification is always bad, just smirk and say, “Only if there’s no safe word.”