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Is it hot in here or is it these spicy chicken wings? That’s a trick question, because it’s both on these five episodes of Hot Ones Versus Challenge. In this fifth installment of my summations of the online franchise, hot sauces of varying spice intensities once again test the lips, tongues, and throats of celebrities that square off against one another to ask and answer intimate questions, with the loser eating an increasingly spicy battered chicken wing or vegan equivalent. Their brave struggles are enchanting, but they are not alone, as Sean joins one couple to eat his own spicy wings and ask questions that will make you laugh and think. My fourth write-up in the Hot Ones Versus Challenge can be found here.
Any Walking Dead fan knows that Maggie (Lauren Cohan) and Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) are not close, personal friends. Something about a barbed wire baseball bat and its impact on the father of her child’s skull. In the Hot Ones studio, however, the two get along famously, with much laughter, affection, and cool insider stories. Even when the questions get tricky (what storyline would Jeffrey have preferred not to be filmed?) or the zombie jokes are horrible, the two performers have a great time together until the hot and spicy sauce hits the tongue. Then Lauren goes from a cool It’s fine,” to a horrified “It’s totally hot! Fuck! It’s actually really hot! Why am I doing this show?”
It's only Round Two when Lauren declares, “I cannot eat another bite of this shit,” before she reads their first Friendship Test question. You will not believe her biggest childhood fear. Jeffrey’s ability to identify chocolates by blind taste test results in him shouting, “I am Willie frickin’ Wonka!” We learn biker slang and, best of all, watch them swing Lucille at the candy-filled heads of zombie piñatas that scream when struck. Only one of the Walking Dead: Dead City co-stars can win the Golden Chicken Wing trophy. Who will it be?
After a moody, Severance-style intro, its co-stars Patricia Arquette and Adam Scott demonstrate their keen fashion sense with semi-matching outfits. Soon we find out what else they do well and what they are total fails at. For instance, can Adam sum up the show in 30 seconds? Will she reveal the most accurate fan theory? What was his last text to friend Paul Rudd? Who can name the most projects their co-star has worked on? Can he guess her dream career had she not become an actor? Does she know his go-to karaoke song? Are his taste buds refined enough to recognize different kinds of calzones, and who gave him his worst on-screen kiss?
Their answers are genuinely interesting. When she “flies” spicy food into his mouth, it’s sexy, and when they complain about the spice torturing their tongues, it’s hilarious. Patricia confesses deep terror when he opines, “This is quite spicy. Umm… Jesus Christ!” As protection, Patricia has brought yogurt, juice, grapes, and even more food. She still complains, says the game is not fun, that her vegan option doesn’t hurt less, and does her best to repress laughter during a Severance parody skit that finds Adam and computer-dude Jack Cherry feeding her joke after joke, and informs her that “It was satire, which people think is very smart.” Jack questions his participation, ultimately stating, “I wish I never came here.”
Hey, look! It’s a three-way! Asif Ali and Saagar Shaikh are the Deli Boys. You can tell because their jackets say so. Poorna Jagannathan is a sleek brunette who plays their aunt. In four rounds, we learn more about each of them than ever expected or, perhaps, ever wanted. Poorna starts by asking Asif what secret he’s kept from his family. It’s shoplifting. Then Saagar tells his on-screen brother, “You talk a lot,” which is true. Also true is Poorna’s confession of her favorite of the two bearded men. Asif, on the other hand, won’t tell who his latest co-star crush is. “I want to keep some mystery, Poorna,” he explains. There’s no mystery about his opinion of the spicy wings. “This is so fucking hot!”
Even more hot is Poorna’s reluctance to play Marry, Fuck, Kill concerning the biggest divas she’s worked with. Even more dramatic is the final dab round, where both men load lots of sauce on the other’s wing. During the finale, each of the three must guess the price of various Philadelphia deli items without going over. This results in sobbing, ice eating, and Asif proclaiming “This is some loser shit right here.”
Sweethearts Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco sit across from Hot Ones’ host Sean Evans as he peppers them with personal questions. Selena’s hair is back and smooth, her lips red, and her hoop earrings silver. Her expression is reticent. Benny is the epitome of the casually dressed boyfriend. As they suffer through their wings, Benny is also the consummate boyfriend, showing concern for her comfort and cleanliness during her misery. In spite of her fears, the couple kicks some serious saucy chicken wing ass. They discuss their experience as musical collaborators and her reaction to The Bomb Beyond Insanity sauce in 2019 on the Tonight Show (she hated him). “All I remember,” she claims, “was being in a lot of pain, which is why I was nervous about coming back.”
Benny claims, “I could do 12 of these,” as he indicates the sauces. Then he shares his biggest cooking gripe, which Selena enjoys aggravating. His opinions about what makes good DJ music, his mother’s ignorance about drum types, and what dance floor guests prefer are less triggering. Sadly, there is no real consensus about what music they both enjoy, although he admits she turned him into a Swifty. While Benny extols the nuances of sauce seven, Selena looks near the end of her courage. By sauce eight, he coughs and she spits hers into a napkin. “Holy shit,” Benny exclaims, looking worse for wear. “I’m not even here now! Does it get worse?” It does for Selena, who stands up and paces. “It’s like it doesn’t go away. Does it?” she asks. “Why? Why do people do it?” Sicilian Scorpion inspires Benny to list his favorite cookbooks, and the ultimate dab leaves him feeling good, and she declares, “I don’t think I’ll come back to this show ever. But I’d love to see you any time.”
“Oh, my God! This is so hot,” multiple award winner Viola Davis warns her husband of more than 20 years, Julius Tennon. “This is hot as hell.” The other thing that’s hot as hell is the palpable love they feel for one another. Good thing, because they’re both going to suffer. Things start promisingly, with Viola rating the couple’s various red carpet looks, including the dress where her “cutie pie” husband kept stepping on her feathers. Fortunately, the couple has few creative disagreements, although he says, “You always like to beat someone up” in her movies. Viola does not want to be beaten up by any of the women who won awards she was nominated for, however. Instead, she eats a wing to avoid saying who least deserved the win. “I think I could whoop her,” she teases.
It's not all violence, though. After making silly faces in their mirrors, the couple share them across the table, and the one who laughs first, eats a wing. Then he cracks her up by doing impressions of his relatives. His sensitive side is revealed along with the movie that always makes him cry. His hint is “trees.” This earns some sweet talk. “You are the man of my dreams, but before we met, who was my celebrity crush?” No number of hints helps his memory. He does remember how bad she was with money when they met, but assures fans that “There’s nothing hard about” living with an “EGOT national treasure.” Why? “Because I know how the hell I am and the EGOT knows who the hell she is.” The final dab requires them to play the "The Cost is Correct" game, where they both prove how out of touch with prices they are, even though they like to hang out in big-box stores. At the close of the show, we meet their daughter, Genesis, who reminds Mom that “Water and oil don’t mix.”
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