Let’s face it, dear reader. In a world filled with quick hookups, ghosting, and swiping left, genuine connection can often feel like a lost art, even in the bedroom. Enter tantric sex, a centuries-old practice that promises to not only spice up your sex life but also open the door to a more profound emotional and spiritual connection with your partner or even with yourself. But what exactly is tantric sex, and how can you dip your toes (or more) into this deeply sensual experience? Let’s unpack it.
Tantric sex stems from Tantra, an ancient spiritual practice originating in India over 5,000 years ago. While Tantra is not exclusively about sex, its philosophies seek to integrate body, mind, and spirit, encouraging deeper connections with oneself and the universe. Tantric sex specifically extends this principle to erotic intimacy by combining mindfulness, breathwork, and slow, deliberate acts of passion.
Unlike conventional sex, which often emphasizes reaching climax (read: the Big O) as quickly as possible, tantric sex is all about slowing things way, way down. This practice focuses on pleasure in the moment, making space to savor every sensation, every touch, and every whisper. It’s as much about the journey as the destination; sometimes, the destination isn’t even the goal.
Before we get into the how of it, let’s motivate you with some of the many benefits of incorporating tantra into your bedroom repertoire:
Ready to channel your inner Kundalini energy (look it up; it’s worth the Google)?
Here are some beginner-friendly steps to ease into tantric sex like a pro:
Creating a sacred space is key to tantra. Light candles, burn incense, or dim the lights—whatever helps you and your partner relax. Put your phones out of sight (and on silent). You want your environment to feel calm, safe, and sensual.
Breathing deeply and intentionally is the foundation of tantric sex. Sit facing your partner, knees touching, and synchronize your inhales and exhales. Focus on drawing your breath deep into your belly and letting it out slowly. If you’re solo, no partner? No problem! You can practice mindful breathing while touching yourself or even without any physical stimulation.
Let’s be honest: sustaining eye contact for over a few seconds can feel awkward, even with someone you love. But in tantric sex, it’s a non-negotiable way to establish trust and bridge intimacy. Even if it feels odd at first, stay with it. You’ll be surprised at how connected it can make you feel.
Forget everything you know about fast, frenzied sex. Tantra is all about pacing. Explore your partner’s body (or your own) slowly and deliberately. Linger on touches and observe their reactions. This isn’t a race. Think of it as a scenic, pleasurable road trip.
The goal of tantra isn’t just physical pleasure; it’s connecting on an energetic level. Start to notice how energy moves in your body during touch and try to amplify that awareness during intimate moments. Sensations may feel more potent.
Yes, there are tantric sex positions designed to foster closeness and prolong pleasure. A good one to start with? The Yab-Yum position. Both partners sit cross-legged, with one sitting in the other’s lap, making full-body contact. It promotes intimacy and lets you easily work on breath synchronization and eye contact.
Here’s the kicker, dear reader: there’s no “right” way to do tantra. It’s not about bending your body into Kama Sutra-worthy positions or about achieving orgasm 2.0. It’s about exploring connection at a pace that feels authentic and enjoyable for you and your partner. Give yourself permission to laugh, stumble, and keep practicing. Like meditation or yoga, it gets better with time and consistency.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship, newly in love, polyamorous, or delightfully single, tantric sex offers a way to explore intimacy on a deeper level. It’s not just about better orgasms (although, yes, those may happen); it’s about fostering connection within yourself and with those you invite into your intimate spaces.