Throwback Thursday: Sexy Horror Edition – You’ll Go Batty For This Classic Horror Tale!

He “vants” to suck your blood--- and probably other things!

Hey Fleshbot fans! I hope you’re all working diligently on your Halloween costumes by now. I’ll wait to reveal mine to y’all till a bit closer to Halloween. This week’s spooky-sexy Throwback Thursday pick is 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Besides being spooky season, another good reason to give this a watch if you haven’t in a while is the star-studded cast.

Gary Oldman plays our titular Transylvanian vampire Count Vlad Dracula. Winona Ryder stars as Mina Murray, and she’s still killing it nowadays in another seasonal spooky film Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Keanu Reeves, who I believe is still one of Hollywood’s reigning non-toxic mensches plays Mina’s fiance, a lawyer named Jonathan Harker.

Harker is dispatched to Transylvania to oversee Dracula’s real estate purchases in London after another guy from his firm, R.M. Renfield, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Turns out he went insane and was committed, thanks to Drac. Harker is definitely weirded out by his host with his pasty skin, terrible nail hygiene, and how much he loves to help him with shaving (using a straight razor) but he hasn't quite figured out the vampire thing. Mina’s back in London staying with her bougie and kinda slutty (for the time period) friend Lucy Westenra while Harker is away.

It’s also no coincidence that Ryder plays both Mina Murray and Dracula’s tragic lover Elisabeta, who we learn at the beginning of the film died by suicide when someone falsely told her that the count died in the Crusades. Harsh. Drac still holds quite the torch for her (kinda the reason he’s a vampire) and it turns out he’s set his sights on having Mina because of their resemblance and believes that Mina is his lady love reincarnated and he’s buying all this property so he can go to London to get her. Drac ditches Harker and sails to London, leaving him in the company of his brides aka a bunch of female vampires who just love themselves a blood juice box and a sex toy in one in the form of a handsome man.

Drac travels to London in style, all snuggled up for a transatlantic dirt nap in some Transylvanian dirt at the bottom of a ship crewed by Romani sailors. He definitely gets his beauty rest, looking younger and like a whole-ass long-haired charming snack when he gets out, complete with weird Lennon-esque glasses, and he charms Mina, introducing himself as a prince when they have a not-so-chance meeting in public. He also seduces and changes Lucy into a vampire which was a mistake because vampire hunter Abraham Van Helsing comes to town to deal with it. Shit really starts to hit the fan and I’m not going to spoil it. Even though you may have had to read the book for school, definitely check out the sexy, shadowy, mysterious film. Bram Stoker’s Dracula also has a lot of queerness baked into it and you can read about that for days if interested.

So, dim the lights, light some candles, put on your gothiest ‘fit, and enjoy an atmospheric rewatch. It’s definitely a better Coppola film than Megalopolis! Bram Stoker’s Dracula is available for streaming (at press time) on Paramount Plus.