Flirting Feels Good, Creates Connection, and Boosts Profits

Dancers and Online Models Can Earn Regulars if They Get Their Flirt On

Flirting is not taken seriously enough. When was the last time that an elite institution for higher learning held a series of classes with credit toward graduation that covered the fundamentals of being coy, flirtatious, a tease, a femme fatale, an enchantress, a seductress, a siren, a coquette, or a vamp? For some, flirting comes naturally. For others, it’s a great mystery. For those whose livelihoods depend on creating a positive emotional as well as physical impression, adding or refining the art of the flirt can turn first-timers into regulars and regulars into heavier tippers who spend more time with you.

Why Flirt?

Often shrugged off as shallow, fake, and manipulative, flirting serves important social purposes. In addition to being a way to subtly communicate attraction and interest by either verbal or nonverbal means, it can be a fun, playful, and exciting way to boost your own confidence and self-image, as well as that of your clients. What is “appropriate” flirting behavior changes with the era, social circle, and location. Flirting is more an art than a science.

If there is one thing the adult entertainment industry has learned over the decades, it is that everyone has their own idea about what makes another person physically attractive. The patrons of the erotic arts who seek out online, strip club, video, peep show, still image, hardcore, softcore, or dungeon companionship with an element of emotional connection, however brief and transactional, likewise do so for their own reasons. There are always customers who merely want to get off, while others need to talk openly with someone sexy about taboo or mundane topics, and others who want to have someone in their life to look forward to seeing and spoiling. Of course, there are always the men with bad jokes who want someone to laugh with them.

Although not the full list of admirers; it includes elders, closet-cases, the recently divorced, those in search of kinky roleplay, those with physical disabilities who struggle to experience intimacy, those with autism who need a non-judgmental partner to help them learn the nuanced ways of human seduction, and both the awkward and the smooth wanna-be ladies’ men. Sometimes, even a woman who craves a forbidden encounter with another woman comes to visit. The two things that all of them, except the dudes who just want to get off, have in common are that each wants to feel special and that they have received their money’s worth. If the experience goes well for both of you, they will hopefully want to visit you again.

Ingredients for a Good Flirt

Unless you only communicate with a client through text or voice, you will want to be aware of what your face and body are saying. If you send selfies through text, this will also be useful. A surprising number of nonverbal messages rely on body language.

• Lips: Unless your thing is to scowl or look severe, smile. At least during your welcome. People who smile are considered more attractive, more intelligent, and more worthy of trust. Practice your smile in a mirror or with selfies because there is nothing like receiving a smile that feels custom made, warm, and genuine. Keep your lips moist and not chapped. Apply lipstick or lip balm, lick your lips, or be bold and blow a kiss. Do not be afraid to bite your lower lip occasionally if it feels right. If your role is that of a strict mistress or condescending bitch, a well-timed smirk is always hot. Remember that whipped cream, strawberries, and other food items you can lick or nibble draw the eye. 

• Eyes: Make eye contact, even if you look away after a moment, and then glance back with coy doe eyes. If your style of flirt is darker and communicates challenge, go for a more vixen glance. Pay attention to where your eyes focus because nothing is more obvious that you are bored than to look at everything except the person you are conversing with or performing for. Occasionally, glance at his lips. When all else fails, and it won’t, an impertinent or intimate wink can work wonders. 

• Body Orientation: Lean your body toward the customer to show interest. Keep it open and approachable. Do not cross your arms or slouch. 

• Physical Contact: Depending on the state, dancers can touch people who sit at the rack, they meet on the floor, visit at a table or booth, or give private dances. Find out how much and what kind of touch is legal and then use that knowledge to assure your admirer that they have your attention. A touch on a hand, forearm, or shoulder can be all it takes to make someone feel noticed and connected, but make sure to honor each person’s personal boundaries, limits, and comfort zones. It’s all right to ask before you touch.

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Feel Your Flirt

Whether you interact in the flesh, through text, a mobile device screen, or the other side of a plexiglass panel, there is more to being a flirt than your body, however mesmerizing that may be. A nimble or playful mind can build and maintain erotic heat quite nicely. Some people flirt recreationally in the wild so they can learn more about someone new.

• Humor: If you have good delivery, an inborn sense of what is funny, or even a collection of jokes burning a hole in your mouth, feel free to introduce them to your customer. Do not go overboard or offend unintentionally but use your power wisely and with appropriate respect. Humor can help establish an affinity that eventually turns into inside jokes.

• Curiosity: Ask questions, find out what hobbies, interests, and adventures you have in common. When your customers talk, listen and let them know that you hear them. Ask follow-up questions to show you are paying attention.

• Confidence: Feel confident in your flirt even as you hone your craft. Too much energy or directness can make you seem arrogant or conceited. Too little can confuse the other person about whether they have picked up what you have laid down. It can take time to find the right balance, especially since each person has their preference.

• Authenticity: Most people can pick up on phony with great ease, especially when it’s a sex worker who is being friendly. Watch your patron’s reactions to gauge how genuine you come across. If they crack a joke and it is funny, laugh. Even if it is not funny, consider at least a chuckle.

• Compliments: Everybody likes to be complimented but men seem to have a special kinship with it. Theoretically, the client will express an appreciation for your appearance, wit, warm personality, or other aspects of your fabulousness. It is good business to return the favor. Make it a goal to find something unique about this person to praise. A recent award, achievement, or recognition all qualify. If it feels right, there are always their garments or personal appearance to admire. 

• Playfulness: Being a flirt can be nerve-wracking. Fortunately, there is no need to rush or take yourself too seriously. Light banter, gentle teasing, and general silliness can really help break the ice and relax everyone. Twirl your hair and touch it throughout your time together. Draw attention to your neck and cleavage by toying with jewelry.

• Respect: Unless you indulge in a Dom/sub flirt scene, customers like to be treated with respect. Even if it is a kink scene, respect should be shown until you know what your visitor wants to experience with you. Say his name to assure him you know he is not someone else. 

• Mystery: Part of making a client return is to generate a sense of mystery or suspense. Have an ongoing story to tell that can wait until next time. Surprise him with a new-to-you personal item or naughty toy but be kittenish when you show it to him. Now is a good time to giggle, but don’t become a clique. 

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Text Your Flirt 

One service available to consumers from some providers is the ability to maintain contact through text messages. This may be especially comfortable for younger clients who are used to remote communication. Much of what can be done in other settings can also be accomplished via text. Whether you want to make-believe that you swap notes in class, leave salacious stickies around the house, are or have an anonymous admirer, pretend to text by accident, or are too shy to meet in person, text is there for you.

As before, show real interest in the other person, ask provocative and follow-up questions, bring up some trivia that you know about them, give him a nickname that he will like, tell them about something that has happened in real life or your imagination, swap jokes, send sexy or silly emojis, play get-to-know-you games like “Never Have I Ever” or “20 Questions,” boost his ego with a request for advice, and, of course, send him some mild to wild photos.

Enjoy Your Flirt

Throughout all of this, do what you can to remain true to yourself. Some people just do not inspire a flirt, cannot respond to a flirt, or turn a flirt into something more than it is meant to be. But, if you have an idea what your client likes and include some pre-interaction negotiation to confirm, it can be an opportunity to step outside of the typical sex worker/client dynamic with creativity, heart, and a sense of sassy or seductive fun that will make the experience more enjoyable for both of you and, ideally, see return visits and a boost in your income.