How to Dirty Talk: For Men and Women

How to Dirty Talk: It’s All About Connection and Confidence

We’ve all heard the phrase “dirty talk,” and it likely instantly calls to mind seductive whispers in intimate moments; or your favorite adult star or movie… I see you, dear reader. But beyond just spicing up the bedroom, dirty talk is about communication. It’s a way to express your feelings, heighten your desire, and strengthen your connection with your partner. As exciting and kinky as dirty talk may seem, it often makes many people nervous. Why? Because it feels like one wrong word, and you’ve gone from ‘hot fire’ to ‘awkward silence.’

Don’t worry, dear reader. This is about explaining dirty talk and helping men and women feel confident and equipped. So, let’s dig in: what constitutes dirty talk, how can you become an expert, and what are the golden rules you need to know before moaning about how good you feel?

Men's Dirty Talk: The Art of Confidence and Descriptiveness

Let’s start with something many men struggle with regarding dirty talk—confidence. You don’t need to sound like an adult actor or recite a Shakespearean sonnet. Confidence starts with believing that what you’re saying is hot and that your partner is into it.

• One of the key strategies to dirty talk is to describe what you’re doing without censoring yourself. “I love the way you feel when I’m inside you” or “You look so sexy when you moan like that” are great places to start.
• Your tone matters. Even a simple “I want you so bad right now” becomes ten times hotter when said in a low, confident voice. Practice makes perfect here.
• Avoid apologizing for what you're saying. If you had an open and honest conversation about preferences and boundaries, you’ll know what turns you both on.

Women’s Dirty Talk: Owning Your Desire

At this point, dirty talk is, thankfully, not just a "guy thing." Women can benefit big time by throwing in well-placed, sizzling lines that show they’re as into the action as their partner.

• Many women feel pressure to moan and let their partner take over the audio side of things. But expressing your desire explicitly can blow the roof off the sex. Say things like, “I love it when you use your tongue like that,” or “I want you to go deeper.” Feedback is key. Trust me, most partners would be thrilled to know exactly what’s turning you on.
• Communicating pleasure verbally adjusts your partner's technique and lets them know how much you enjoy yourself. “Oh God, don't stop” telegraphs that they're doing something right and encourages further exploration.

Pro Tips for Everyone: Keep Things Organic

• Discuss boundaries before getting into it: Have a casual conversation about what kind of language turns you on. Maybe you think calling someone a “naughty boy” sounds fun, but your partner might cringe at the idea. Or perhaps terms like "slut" set you both off, but some people enjoy humiliation play. Knowing the spectrum of what's okay for each of you expands the comfort zone for when you’re in the heat of the moment. This talk doesn’t have to be overly formal or a mood killer. It can be as easy as throwing out a “Hey, what kind of things do you like to hear in bed?”
• Both partners can prepare a little “menu” of phrases or dirty words that get them going. Start basic, and once trust is established, push a little further into your filthier desires.
• Don’t force it: Your dirty talk should feel organic. If you're talking about laundry one minute and then suddenly yell, “Spank me, Daddy!” it will feel jarring. Let the action build the talking naturally. Starting slowly with moans and soft compliments can give way to more raunchy language as the heat picks up.
• React and respond: Don’t just use dirty talk as a monologue. Interact with your partner’s cues. If they moan or seem to enjoy something, elaborate on it. If they smirk or go quiet, maybe dial it back or switch direction. A conversation, even a filthy one, works best when both people are actively engaging.

Dirty talk isn’t about using the most outrageous words possible. It’s about finding what turns you and your partner on and using your voice to enhance the experience. Confidence and mutual consent go a long way in making dirty talk an incredibly thrilling addition to your sex life, whether you're keeping it simple with a "You feel so good" or exploring kinkier territory. Start slow, communicate, and trust that practice makes perfect. And remember: there’s nothing inherently “bad” about dirty talk—it’s just another (hot) way to connect.

BECOME THE BEST LOVER YOU CAN BE