Sexy Celebs Spice Up Life with a Hot Sauce Challenge – Round 5

July 23, 2024
DARKLADY

Once again, five sexy celebrity beauties visit Hot Ones and eat 10 levels of hot-sauced spicy chicken wings with host Sean Evans while he peppers them with questions. Evans protects himself from the possibility of projectile vomit by sitting two round tables away while he eats and chats with his guests. The fourth entry into the Hot Sauce Challenge can be found here. With that, it’s time to soak in the suffering of another five lovely and talented women.

Gwyneth Paltrow

This sylph-like blonde mega-award winner has an acting range from Jane Austen’s Emma to Marvel’s Pepper Potts in the Iron Man and Avengers franchises. The less said about her company, Goop, the better. There’s a lot to mention about Gwyneth Paltrow's approach to hot wings, however. “I am full of regret,” she admits immediately to Sean Evans, the host of Hot Ones. “I can’t believe I’m here. I’m here because my son loves hot sauce and loves this show, apparently.” With that preamble, it’s time for Wing 1, which surprises her. “That’s very nice,” she says before the heat hits. “That’s spicy! I thought you were going to start real plain and kind of groom me I not the experience.” She’s much happier with Wing 2, which is less hot and has a “jerky-esque thing happening.” She zooms effortlessly through Wing 3 but the green chili in Wing 4 catches her attention, and she makes an unhappy face. “I feel determined,” she says about Wing 5. “Also, I feel like I might pass out.” Wing 6 is a Bourbon Maple Reaper treat that leaves her looking distressed and unable to speak. She doesn’t learn her lesson, though, and takes too big a bite of Wing 7. A glass of water comes to her temporary aid and she’s able to move on to Wing 8. “I’m so scared. I am literally shaking,” she claims. “My wing is shaking.” After a bite, she looks thoughtful, as though deep in prayer. “This is incredibly painful,” she observes with notable calm. She ups her beverage game to a glass of milk. “The violation is intense.” She looks shiny with a dew of perspiration as she approaches Wing 9. “I… I might throw up,” she says before her bite. “This is bad,” she says after it. She dabs at her nose with a cloth and tells Evans, “I just want you to know that I’m not fully okay from the last two things ago.” Somehow, she casually eats Wing 10 before playing Goop facial cleansing salesman to an enthusiastic Evans.

Heidi Klum

Sporty blonde Heidi Klum has been married to Seal and was the first German model to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel. She also doesn’t like spicy foods. That keeps things lively even before she puts a wing in her mouth. “This is going to be very hard for me today,” she confesses before saying that she got advice on how to survive the experience; don’t touch the lips. She surprises herself with Wing 1, which she observes “has the slightest little kick.” Nonetheless, it has the front of her tongue buzzing. Wing 2 has “A little lemony taste to it. Totally doable.” After some chatter about modeling, she approaches Wing 3, which is fermented. After pointing out that we’re supposed to eat more fermented things, she declares this one to be “Totally doable. Oh, my God! I can’t believe how good I’m doing at this!” She breezes through Wing 4 and then sniffs Wing 5, which Hot Ones host Sean Evans discourages her from doing. “This one is a little on the wet side,” she concludes. “This is doable,” she reassures. Of Wing 6 she observes that “Onima has a different kick to it.” It’s a kick that makes her stick her tongue out for air. Once Wing 7 arrives, she’s braced for pain if she has any kind of crack in her lips. Then things get crazy! Wing 8 results in her guzzling buttermilk from a carafe. “I’m getting hot,” she proclaims and unbuttons her denim top to reveal a lovely red bra and sensational cleavage. Now everyone on and off set is hot! “That was the kicker,” she says before asking when the pain stops. Her shirt comes off entirely, she fans her face, she sticks her tongue out, she dabs at her face with a napkin, and she flaps her arms like a chicken. Then she burps. There is laughter and more buttermilk. By Wing 9 she thinks “This one is almost doable again.” Then she reaches Wing 10 and sniffs it before tossing it back in her mouth to avoid her lips. As Evans announces the names of each sauce, she makes an appropriate face, with Da Bomb Beyond Insanity bringing joy to the room when she shakes her breasts in horror and amusement.

Ice Spice

Orange-haired rapper Ice Spice may be one of the most adorable things to come out of the Bronx. She’s certainly self-confident when she meets Hot Ones host Sean Evans. “I actually love spicy food,” she explains. Nonetheless, she’s nervous as she bites into Wing 1. “It tastes spicy,” she observes. “Oh! I spoke too soon! It’s kickin’ in a little bit. I feel it on my lips.” Braced for more spice, she bites into Wing 2 and softly says, “Yeah, this one’s gonna hurt.” She smacks her lips, then goes “Yum,” which seems a good sign. When she meets Wing 3, which has Funky’s Hot Sauce on it, she licks the wing before she puts it in her mouth. She doesn’t love its flavor. “Ewww! Ewww! Disgusting!” Fortunately, Wing 4 is more friendly. “That was better than the last one,” she assures before she realizes “That one’s kicking in a bit. Do I have anything in my teeth?” With nothing in her teeth, she nibbles Wing 5, which she declares to have “Like, a cheesy vibe. It’s actually good. It’s good, it’s good. It’s not too cheesy.” That doesn’t mean she turns down a glass of chocolate milk. “I feel like this activated it,” she observes before drinking more chocolate milk. Halfway through her challenge, she pops Wing 6, seasoned with Bourbon Maple Reaper, into her mouth. “It’s really catching up with me. Definitely got some reaper in there.” Anticipating the worst with Wing 7, she admires the packaging and says she can’t taste the spice at first. Then she laughs. “You tricked me,” thinking she had gotten away easy. “Ooo! I spoke too soon. Oh, my God. That’s crazy! That’s fucked up!” More chocolate milk. “My nose is running! My mouth is on fire!” It doesn’t get better for her after she sniffs Wing 8. “No way! Oh, my God! That’s so disgusting! It’s so spicy. Fuck. Bro, my mouth is on fire. Wait! Breathing makes it worse. I’m crying now.” More chocolate milk. More swearing. “This is so bad,” she exclaims as she fans herself. “This one got me shakin’,” she gasps, deciding that she’s had enough. “I’m not gonna do that to myself,” she says firmly and declines Wing 9 and Wing 10 in favor of living another day.

Lupita Nyong’o

Born in Mexico City and raised in Kenya, Lupita Nyong’o has been hitting her acting jobs out of the park with titles including Star Wars, Black Panther, 12 Years a Slave, and a voice role in The Jungle Book. None, it would appear, were as challenging as her time on Hot Ones with host Sean Evans. “I am terrified,” she told him. “My heart is beating so fast. I’m having trouble sitting still.” Unsure about whether she has what it takes to survive 10 levels of tongue torture, she introduces Wing 1 to her mouth and is rewarded by the continued existence of her flavor buds. “This is an encouraging start,” she says with relief. The trend continues with Wing 2, which she deems “not assaulting at all.” Nyong’o waxes philosophical about Wing 3’s kimchi element. It has flavor. I think when hot things have flavor, they’re so much easier to take.” During Wing 4, she shares that the other thing that makes the increasingly warm wings tolerable for the Academy Award winner are Evans’ interview questions. “I’m gonna be just fine, man,” she assures him. Wing 5 finds her with a confidence she didn’t possess when things started. “I am feeling very good about this. I’m so much better at this than I realized.” She may have spoken too soon because Wing 6 catches her full attention. One eyelid closes and she tells Evans accusingly, “You have lied to me, but must it jump like that? There is a definite extreme jump that has just occurred.” He gives her no comfort so when Wing 7 arrives, she wants assurances. “It won’t kill me, right? It won’t kill me?” After she chews, she shakes her head and says through her suffering, “No, no, no, no! I’m the one who brought myself here.” Yet she declines her host’s offer to stop. “I am very competitive so I cannot stop,” she informs him. “We’ve got to get to the end. That’s the only way.” Wing 8 looks like it might be the end of her. “I’m just sad now. Oh, my God, it hurts. It’s awful.” Tears fall. “It hurt my feelings,” Milk comes to the rescue after Wing 9, during which she looks long-suffering. The agony reaches its peak during Wing 10l “Oh, Jesus Christ,” she exclaims before a deep breath and a pained fist pump. “I should be really scared; I can’t believe this.” She shakes, gasps for breath, drinks milk, and shouts triumphantly, “They’re comin' at you, they’re trying to pull you down but you’re winning. That’s what being Lupita Nyong’o is.” She slaps the table and promises Evans, “I did it. I am never coming back.”

Shakira

One of the sexiest and most addictive Colombian imports is Shakira, the “Queen of Latin Music.” A natural beauty, as well as a consummate singer/songwriter, she assures Hot Ones host Sean Evans that she is “curious about this whole thing. I think I can take spice. I think I can take hot food, but we’ll see.” Wing 1 tests her resolve. “My God we started strong,” she observes. “That’s spicy! I must confess I put some Vaseline on my lips.” After some discussion about the writing process, Wing 2 makes an appearance. ‘Not bad. I’m starting to get scared. Do you have a stomach protector?” Indeed, he does not, but they move on to Wing 3 and the woman with the pathologically honest hips deems it “nice, but it’s starting to really do its thing.” “It has more spice in it. Like, it’s not hotter but it’s got, like, cumin.” Her sensitive taste buds tell her that Wing 4 is cheesy. “Do people usually quit here,” she asks after savoring it. “I can’t be the first one. It would change the history of the show.” Instead, she drinks water and plays with her lips, checking their plumpness. Wing 5 brings laughter to her plumping lips. “I’m starting to feel it,” she confesses. Exotic macadamia milk becomes available to her desperate tissues as she reels from the heat of Wing 6. “Oh my God, this one’s really… This is really, really burning my lips.” Next up is Wing 7, which is seasoned by a sauce from Kansas City, MO. “It’s masochistic,” she observes. “It keeps going!” After she samples Wing 8, she soaks her tongue in the liquid nutty goodness. She makes an unhappy face, which she covers as she starts to breathe heavily. “I feel like I’m going to throw up now, she warns. Evans brings her ice cream, which she feels is cheating but she eats gratefully anyway. “I don’t ever want to see this ever again,” she assures him before bravely biting into Wing 9. “That’s it. Okay. I’ll have a little more.” She questions her decision a moment later when she whimpers and says, “Mama!” “The last one,” she reassures herself as she faces Wing 10. “I can’t believe we’ve come this far.” She puts a single drop of the hot sauce on her wing, sniffs, and says, “Smells really strong.” It doesn’t just smell strong. It tastes strong. “Painful,” is her one-word review. While she eats her bowl of ice cream, the sauce-eating songstress celebrates her achievement. “I feel very proud of myself,” she says. “I’m walking out of here a stronger woman, a stronger she-wolf.”