Paris Brings Back the Olympic Village “Anti-Sex” Beds

Narrow, Recyclable, and Unsuccessful at Stopping Olympic Athlete Orgies

Olympic athletes who competed during the 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan have a lot of associated memories. One of their least favorite memories relates to the so-called “anti-sex” beds that they did their best to sleep on.

Intended to be sustainably produced and recyclable, the narrow twin frames and their mattresses were manufactured by a company named Airweave, and are just wide and sturdy enough for one person, but not two. During the height of COVID-19 transmission, the unintended side-effect of discouraging couple or multiple-partner sex may have seemed like a bonus to event organizers worried about infection levels.

Laurent Michaud, director of the 2024 Paris Olympic Village, told the Daily Star that 300,000 condoms will be available for the 14,000 athletes, residents, members of the press, and guests during the upcoming 2024 Paris Summer Olympics. CamSoda has offered to donate 1,000 bottles of its Gold Medal lube. These are the fundamentals for a good time. Add the inspiring beauty of Saint-Denis, France, and the pulses of young, healthy, and physically active people are bound to race, whether they belong to gymnasts or track stars.

According to the New York Post, the Airweave “anti-sex” beds are back.

If the past can be taken as prologue, although athletes may not get the kind of rest they need before competing, they’re not going to miss out on any sexual shenanigans just because their cardboard bed will collapse.

Previous Olympic sex antics have included hot tub orgies, truckloads of condoms, room swapping, “do not enter” socks on doorknobs, London Olympic foursomes, balcony trysts, courtyard sex, and between building encounters. Matthew Syed, 1992 Barcelona Olympic table tennis star, told The Times of London that he “got laid more often in those two and a half weeks than in the rest of my life up to that point.”

Airweave insists that its beds are up to the challenge of two people, citing experiments that include dropping weights onto them. To test the truth of that claim, Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan put one of the beds through its paces. He posted a video of himself jumping up and down on it. Both he and the bed emerged unscathed. “Apparently, they’re meant to break at any sudden movements,” he observed. “It’s fake news.”