Songs In The Key of Smut: Self-Love Edition In Honor Of National Masturbation Month

May 14, 2024
NAOMI LEROY

It’s perfectly natural, risk-free, and tons of fun-- make a wank date with yourself today!

Hey Fleshbot Fans! May is National Masturbation Month. Ariana Levi’s got some more great info on that, and I, your favorite smutty DJ, have compiled some fabulous tracks to set the mood or accompany your me time. Grab some of your favorite toys and enjoy yourself, quite literally!

"I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls – Here’s one of a couple obvious choices. This one hit wonder is just so catchy and timeless and even at the time it was released in 1990, it was pretty subversive for a song like this to be sung from a female perspective, at least some people couldn’t handle the idea. Oh look, I seem to have chosen all female artists for this article--- guess jilling off IS just as popular as jacking!

“Icicle” by Tori Amos -- I was a girl-shaped awkward and repressed creature in the 90s, so of course I'm deeply in love with Tori’s first three albums. This song is so subtly dirty lyrically, and musically it’s so fucking weird. Tori's a preacher's offspring so of course she's a freak and I adore her.

“Match Burn Twice” by Joan Osborne-- If you have written off Joan Osborne as a one hit wonder because of “One Of Us”, you should really listen to some more of her music because the woman has a voice like smoky honey and she can get smutty too. This song describes some personal fun by a lady recalling the previous evening’s fuck sesh and just… MEOW.

“Jackin’ Man” by Genitorturers-- Funny enough, Genitorturers have a really cool industrial cover of “I Touch Myself”, seen earlier on this list, but this song “Jackin’ Man” is a sexy guttural jam about boppin’ the baloney:

“She Bop” by Cyndi Lauper-- This bouncy catchy 80s classic is actually about havin’ a wank and I’m here for it. It’s a sex positive bona fide literal BOP and of course the music video from the 80s is delightfully unhinged. Check it out!