Halloween is Here So Cosplay is Super Cool and Sometimes Sexy!

Being Drunk isn’t Necessary to Wear These Costumes, but It Helps.

Summer is finally over, and my favorite time of the year is here. It’s Halloween Season! Pumpkin pie! Hot apple cider! Dramatic makeup! Scary movies! Wild parties and costumes! I love it. Finally, a chance to drop the façade and be myself! Average people think I’m cosplaying the living hell out of the holiday when all I’m doing is dressing the way I like to dress. After all, black goes with everything and when doesn’t an inky-hued cat or a skull with flowers perk up an outfit and introduce a festive vibe to a gathering?

The holiday has a weird history, which makes me like it even more. Plenty of people know that what we refer to as Halloween was previously known by other names in what we now call the UK. They may not know that each region has similar but not identical traditions related to the reason for the season, but the average person has only the roughest idea about what that reason is. With summer and the harvest behind them, our ancestors’ thoughts turned to those who had endured the cold darkness of the advancing seasons before them. Beyond that, their desire was to acknowledge, honor, appease, bid welcome/farewell, and, when possible, communicate with the dead.

During this time of transformation, the veil between the living and those gone before becomes thin enough for the spirits to pierce and pass through. In my opinion, this means it’s the perfect time to put on crazy costumes, prance about merrily, party like life is short, confront and laugh at what we fear, get a little maudlin, and remember those dead and gone. To do the latter, I figure a good costume serves as an attractant. We can thank the ancient Celts for that tradition, although they leaned more toward animal heads and skins than slutty Barbie, slutty nun, or slutty pack of French fries. As Christianity attempted to adapt the holiday, costumes appeared on people going house-to-house basically caroling for treats or soul cakes.

It's hardly a surprise that the holiday wasn’t a hit when it arrived on the shores of the colonies. While some celebrated in Maryland and the South, you didn’t see it much in Protestant New England. In time, the various customs of colonists, immigrants, and Natives blended into something uniquely American and Halloween was created. During the 19^th century, the holiday was pretty much all about being a drunken, wanton slut and partying in pop culture costumes.

This, of course, didn’t play well with the morality police of the time, who wanted to tone the holiday down and make it more family-friendly. The sexiness did mellow and more seasonably appropriate manifestations of the macabre replaced it. As we all know now, that didn’t stick. Yes, there are still plenty of pretty princesses, fluttery fairies, scary clowns, and horror movie antagonists, but once renting a costume in the 1990s took off, so did a lot of the hemlines for women.

During the 1960s, the masks came off. Alas, even those anticipating the Age of Aquarius participated in a tone-deaf tradition that continues to this day and is now called “cultural appropriation.” How many blonde Pocahontases do we need, really? And while fortune telling during this season goes back to at least the time of the Celts, if we’re not Roma, we probably shouldn’t dress up as a “gypsy.” Plus, the term is considered a slur, which is an even worse look for us. Blackface should have been understood immediately to be a no-go, but, even in 2023 we see people who haven’t received or understood the memo.

Now that I’ve totally harshed all the white peoples’ mellows, be reassured that there are plenty of options available to us, even during this more socially sensitive time filled with attempts to be respectful. There are, of course, any number of non-gendered and non-ethnic alternatives to be found in the world of inanimate objects. Remember those sexy French fries? With so many video games, motion pictures, television programs, cartoons, animals, plants, ridiculous celebrities, career dress-ups, and other things available, there’s no reason to stereotype an entire ethnic identity that isn’t ours.

We can dress up like a cat, instead. We’ll automatically be sexy! Or Robert Oppenheimer, a Ken or Barbie Doll, a friend of Ken or Barbie Doll, one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (let’s be the sexy one), Elvira (do I even have to mention that she’s sexy?), or even, I dunno, one of our favorite porn stars.

If there can be sexy French fries, I see no reason why there can’t be a sexy blonde Nina Hartley, available in a range of ages. A sexy hell-bound Georgina Spelvin and a snake? Brandi Love wrapped in an American flag for the porn-loving conservative? Jessica Drake dolled up like a sexy Statue of Liberty for liberals, most of whom are porn friendly if not downright enthusiastic?

Although it seems like it sometimes, not all porn is white, tall, or willowy. Diminutive fans can dress up like a sexy Little Stella Marie. Porn lovin’ Latinas whose bodies live the plush life can cosplay as April Flores or Bunny De La Cruz. For the distinguished thicc black woman with multiple tattoos, there’s BADKITTYYY to attempt to emulate. Like fellow legend Nina, Latina Vanessa Del Rio’s beauty remains strong and available to cosplay for those young and mature alike.

Me? I’m dressing up as a Catholic student with an attitude. My husband is dressing up as a Catholic priest. It’s okay, though. We were both raised in the One Truth Faith. Hell, he was even an altar boy in his youth. I played in the church folk band. Not at the same church, of course. That would be too weird a coincidence. And we’d hate for things to be weird on Halloween.