FleshLinks 09-18-23

Dancers Work for Tips Only, So Cheaters Better Tip.

It’s not unusual for barsexual babes to choose strip clubs for their bachelorette parties. Sadly, these same barsexuals are notorious for being shitty tippers. That’s a bad habit that came back to bite one Nashville bride-to-be in the ass this August when she, her side-dude, and her troupe of entitled princesses encountered Marina, a stripper who loves TikTok but doesn’t dig cheaters, especially when they don’t tip dancers but do try to record them. Click here.

My.Club Rewards Excessive Football Celebrations.

You just can’t have fun without being punished for it, especially if you’re a football player who is really happy after scoring a touchdown. Simple expressions of joy such as “excessive pumping, thrusting, gyrating, or twerking” result in fines and public media moralizing before they become online and TV sensations with infinite replay value. My.Club thinks this is wrong and has a VIP Platinum porn subscription reward for players who can’t control their enthusiasm. Click here.

Shocking No One, Most Tinder Users are Cheaters.

I know this is a huge shock to anyone currently on, planning to get on, or previously on Tinder, but according to a Stanford Medicine survey of 1,387 Tinder users between the ages of 17 and 84, a good half of them are already involved with someone! With 75 million users, that’s a lot of pre-existing relationships. Tinder, naturally, says this is all bullshit and that there are a lot of reasons for folks to download the app aside from dating. Click here.

I’d Like OnlyFans and Mistaken Identities for $600, Alex.

Winning Jeopardy! will change anyone’s life. When you’re as pretty and smart as Anji Nyquist, people notice. It’s inevitable that everyone will have an opinion and that someone will suggest an OnlyFans account. I’m cool with this. Sadly, the art of online page layout is dead, and when the U.S. Sun published a related interview with hot brainiac Nyquist, a photo of Jeopardy! host Ken Jennings appeared next to its salacious title. Horny fans of the host went wild at the idea. Click here.

That Seam on a Dude’s Cock and Balls? Yeah, That’s the “Raphe.”

This won’t make them happy in Texas or Florida, but during the first seven weeks of pregnancies, everyone is the same sex. What I mean by that is that we have no sex. We aren’t really girls or boys, just embryos that could go either way depending on our “sexually indifferent gonadal ridge.” If a special gene on the Y chromosome wakes up, the embryo’s bits fuse into a cock and balls with a “raphe,” or seam, down the middle to remind us how we all began. Click here.

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