How to Get Your Sex Toys Clean After You Do the Dirty

Remove Pet Hair, Air-Borne Fluff, Body Fluids, and Worse.

I think I can safely say that most of us who enjoy porn have reached a point in our lives where we understand that sex toys aren’t competition, they’re collaborators. They make bad sex better, good sex great, and solo sex especially satisfying. They make sexual pleasure more accessible to those with disabilities, couples who aren’t able to be together, people who are single, and lovers whose libidos are different from their partner’s. The thing is, once we’ve had our dirty fun, we’ve got a toy that seriously needs to get clean.

Nobody wants to work hard to clean a dildo and then find out they managed to melt it instead. Whether this fear is what keeps 28 percent of toy owners from ever cleaning theirs or whether they’re just lazy, I don’t know. But chances are good that 28 percent experience more infections and irritations than those who take the time and make the effort to keep theirs in battle-ready condition.

But how?

The first thing to determine before cleaning a toy is to know what it is made from. Silicone is non-porous, which makes it fairly easy to clean. Silicone blends are more porous and can be trickier to clean properly. “Jelly” toys are a soft, inexpensive plastic that can include bubbles on their surfaces, perfect for holding bacteria, dirt, hair, skin cells, microbes, body fluids, and anything else that they come in contact with. Softskin/Cyberskin has a lot of use advantages but is also super porous. There are also absolute works of functional erotic art crafted from glass, metal, wood, rigid plastic, and ceramics.

The good news is that no matter what a toy is made from, it’s extremely likely that a simple, anti-bacterial, soap and hot water wash is all it needs to come clean. As unromantic as it may be, liquid dishwashing soap is ideal for this purpose. After a mere 15 seconds with soap and hot water, you can rinse, let the toy completely dry, and put it away. This will protect it from mold and mildew, neither of which you want in your pussy, ass, or mouth.

For those who don’t feel like soap and water are enough for their big cleanup, there are some alternatives depending on the materials in question and how it’s configured. For obvious reasons, a butt plug is going to need a different approach from a Fleshlight or another kind of masturbator sleeve. For instance, that butt plug can be disinfected by dropping it in boiling water for five minutes if it’s made from silicone. If you’re in the mood to surprise your housemates or really shock your kids, there’s also the top rack of the dishwasher.

Things get a bit more complex when it comes to vibrators. In addition to the traditional soap and water treatment, silicone can be boiled even when it vibrates. But you can’t keep the vibe portion in the toy for this method. If the vibe portion can be removed, take it out and give it a good boil. If it can’t be removed, get familiar with manually washing it with liquid soap and hot water. The toy may be waterproof or water-resistant, but that doesn’t mean its vibrator can take the heat of sustained immersion in boiled water. If it’s not waterproof, carefully handwash it and make sure no moisture gets inside the casing.

Not everyone wants something flexible that vibrates inside of their most tender tissues, which is where toys made from wood, borosilicate or sodalime glass, and ceramics come into play. Wooden toys need to be sealed, so check the seams carefully when you buy them. In addition to being beautiful, they can be easily washed with a clean soapy sponge and hot water. Toys made from borosilicate glass can be boiled. If a glass toy has been dropped on a hard surface, inspect it carefully for hairline cracks. This is bad news and can result in breakage down the line if the pressure or temperature isn’t right.

Oh, and about that soap. While anti-bacterial everything is popular and has its merits, when it comes to cleaning toys it’s important to remember that the ingredient that makes anti-bacterial soap anti-bacterial requires that it be left alone for two solid minutes. Then, and only then, rinse it thoroughly so it can work its magic. Any time less than that and you might as well just use non-anti-bacterial soap. Another option is to use cleaners specifically created for sex toys. In addition to being conveniently packaged, the active ingredients are gentle, easy to rinse off, and can be dried with a towel. Even so, only use water-based cleaners for latex or silicone toys.

One more thing: if your favorite (or even least favorite) insertable toy is porous, slipping a condom over it while in use will cut down the chance of yeast and other infections, especially if it’s shared between multiple partners or goes in somebody’s ass. This will make cleanup much easier. The good news is that the condoms used on toys can be expired, unlike those used for intercourse.

The same goes for soft plastic, Cyberskin, and “jelly” rubber toys. Because you can never guarantee that they’re completely clean, put a condom on them. After washing, these can be a little sticky so, once you know they’re dry, storage in a Ziplock bag works to keep cat hair, stray fluff, and other undesirables. A light dusting of cornstarch (not talcum powder) can also keep these toys cleaner during storage but remember to wash it off before using the toy again.

Let’s end with a fun fact. This one’s for the gentlemen. A 2017 survey by Adam & Eve concluded that only 57 percent of men who use sex toys bother to clean them promptly after use. More than a third of those men never clean them. That’s some risky behavior given that it increases the chance of mold, nasty microbes, and bacteria making themselves at home. This means yeast infections, urinary tract infections, and a good chance you’ll give a partner something unpleasant to remember you by.

On the plus side, people who use sex toys are 20 percent more likely to be happy in their relationships and 17 percent more likely to be happy with their sex lives. With that in mind, go forth and fuck yourselves, but for the love of all that’s carnal, clean your sex toys once you’re done!