Sadism: The Art of Inflicting Pain

I was talking with a friend about sadism, and it occurred to me that this is a fascinating topic to share with you. Lets talk about sadism, who was its pioneer, and what are the roots for a person to be interested in this type of activity is very interesting. But my main question is, what do people like about this activity?

First, let's define "sadism." Sadism is defined as a pleasure-driven form of aggression demarcated by enjoying cruelty in everyday situations. Nowadays, the term implies behaviors and tendencies often associated with sexual or physical violence. Sadism has been reconceptualized as dimensional and manifesting beyond the purely sexual realm.

The term arose from the French writer, revolutionary politician, and philosopher Marquis De Sade. He was accused of committing sexual crimes and was famous for writing on “sexual licentiousness”. I’m not famous for my sexually licentious writing yet but a girl can only hope… His erotic books combined philosophical discourse with pornography and sexual fantasies, emphasizing suffering, violence, and anal sex. Like everything, the perception of De Sade is changing. To some people, he is a champion of total liberation through satisfying his desires in all forms; to others, he is an incarnation of evil who advocates the unleashing of instincts even to the point of crime. From my point of view, everything is bad in excess. By this, I mean that sadism can be good, but it can also be harmful. Obsession and pursuit of pleasure can be dangerous (unfortunately). Regarding masochism and bondage, research, communication, and consent are your best bedfellows for navigating these kinks safely. In Sade's case, he did not know or care about limits. He only cared about satisfying his wishes. And here's the problem and why he ended up in jail for over 32 years writing his "perverted books."

So, what made his writing and work so famous? Maybe the direct challenge to the moral and religious values of his time since his controversial and sexually explicit novels were considered scandalous and pornographic in his time. So, back in those days, and currently in our society, what is prohibited, what should not be done, what is dangerous… those things are like a magnet, it's what we want to do. As they say, "curiosity killed the cat." This has been like that since we were little. When we were kids, our parents told us, "don't put your fingers on the fire, you're going to hurt yourself," but there we went to see if that's true and how it feels. Like, how much pain requires a warning? So, while his works are still controversial and disturbing to some, they are also seen as an important reflection of his time's social and cultural attitudes and an exploration of human sexuality and desire. So, we owe De Sade's work the possibility to experience this kind of sexual preference without being judged by society. It’s cringy even to me, but sometimes terrible people are necessary when it comes to challenging the status quo.

To answer my main question, what do people like about this activity, I found three possible explanations since there's not a universally accepted theory. One of the theories suggests that paraphilias originate from prohibiting inappropriate sexual fantasies, which are strengthened by being repressed. This theory can be explained by my darling Freud and his psychosexual stages of development. Fucked up as he was, many of his controversial theories are still taken into account today. Another idea suggests that sadism allows the person to enter something like a meditative state and is a way of escaping one's thoughts. Through the enactment of fantasies, individuals allow themselves to feel new and different. The last theory I found discusses childhood trauma, such as sexual abuse, which can manifest later in a paraphilic disorder. In the case of Marquise, it may be the last one since the literature reports that he was abused and abandoned by his caregivers and in orphanages. Of course, we can’t responsibly suggest anything regarding his mental health and motivations, but it’s safe to say that something tragic and traumatic must have caused his association of inflicting pain with pleasure.

Based on his actions, books, and way of performing sadism back in 18th century, this kind of practice is stigmatized and misunderstood in many parts of the world. It doesn’t help that studies of sexual offenders (primarily men) find that a large proportion of those who commit sexual offenses like exhibitionism and sexual abuse of children, also engage in sexual fantasies related to such activities. Although that perception has changed in recent years and sadism has become more mainstream and accepted, people still think these preferences and desires are perverted. But something is true, among committed sexual offenders in the United States, fewer than 10 percent have sexual sadism, so the past perspective trying to explain this preference was not true. I always reference 50 Shades of Gray because it made BDSM part of pop culture. It opened the door for kinks like sadism to be part of conversations and that always helps destigmatize sexual preferences. You don’t have to be cruel or evil to enjoy sadism; and as with everything sexual, there’s a massive spectrum of possibilities anyone can try and enjoy. Dear reader, never say never. And when it comes to sex, try everything at least twice.

Sadistic people were usually considered perverted people who had mental problems. So much so that even the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V (DSM-V) which was released in 2013, had an integrated diagnostic called Sexual Masochism Disorder. Interestingly, today, studies suggest that those who participate in BDSM-related activities are no more likely to have diagnosed mental health disorders and may even have better psychological health than those who do not. We psychologists know that when it comes to biology, the pain and pleasure center within our brains are very close together, so research shows that they release similar chemicals when engaged, resulting in a pleasurable response to pain. So here we have a neurological explanation of why people like these activities. So much so that it has become widespread in places like San Francisco, New York City, London, Berlin, Amsterdam, and Tokyo. As expected, the literature suggests that there are gender differences when we talk about sadism or any sexual activity. Researchers suggest that females are less prone to sadism than males, although clearly, this is something that varies depending on culture, religion, beliefs, the surrounding society, and many other factors. I’ve always been curious about BDSM, especially sadism and bondage, so I’m not inside that generalization. I can see myself dressed in latex and thigh-high boots stepping on someone’s balls… but I definitely wouldn’t say I like inflicting pain. So sexual things tend to exist in this gray area and it’s most difficult when we try to label and precisely define everything that turns us on.

I want to encourage you, dear reader, if you are interested in exploring the world of BDSM, do not fear or be ashamed. Today it is a much more normalized and safe practice. DO YOUR RESEARCH and stay true to what is safe, sane, and consensual! This is the only requirement for a kinky, rewarding experience.