What It’s Like to Be a Woman Working in the Porn Industry

It’s interesting the reactions that I get when I tell people I work in the porn industry (or “adult” if we’re trying to be proper with civilians). Men always want to know if I’ve done films, which girls I know, and how can they meet porn girls. Women are generally very judgmental and tend to look down on me and my career choices. Every now and again, I will meet some woman who is cool and not frigid, who gives me kudos for being a successful career woman.

Yesterday, I was on set for Kay Brandt’s “Forked”, a movie from Adam & Eve, that will probably come out later this year. It was a great experience and I even had a small, speaking, non-sex role in the film. But, most days I’m in my office writing press releases, scheduling interviews, getting my clients mainstream projects, and a million other things. September is the time to submit nominations to AVN and XBIZ, so it’s extra crazy, and January is all about award and trade shows.

When I was in college, I never thought I’d be working in adult. I’ve worked in advertising (as a copywriter and an art director), wrote for XBIZ, AVN and YNOT and had many incarnations before becoming a porn publicist. Being a tatted BBW with piercings and a large chest makes fitting in the vanilla world hard. Porn has been a place where I was accepted as I am (and actually fit in), lauded for my hard work, received multiple marketing/PR nominations, and I’m finally able to use all my skills and college degree.

The best part of my job is that I get to help people on a daily basis. Not only am I getting my clients’ names out there, but I’m advising them on how to take their careers to the next level. Over the years, I’ve also been there personally for my clients, when they’ve needed a friend or just someone to listen. I’ve seen my clients win major awards and been beyond happy at the success they’ve achieved, knowing I was a major part of that. I’ve never seen my clients just as just a dollar sign, and truly care about their happiness and well-being—sometimes, I have to be the one to tell them it’s time to move on and make a new career choice, if they’re not really happy. I got one of my clients on “Botched” on E! and she went on to have a mainstream career as a reality star—this was good, because she really wanted out of adult.

Working in the industry, I have met some of the nicest and most genuine people, and some who I’ve been friends with more than 10 years and possibly the rest of my life. Many people behind the scenes work very hard and have an excellent work ethic. People always think people in adult are scummy, but that’s not the truth. The people I’ve come in contact with in mainstream entertainment are actually the sleazy ones, trying to have sex with my girls and pay them less than mainstream stars, all because they work in adult. Sure, we have some less than savory people in this industry, but it’s that way with any job or career. That’s why it’s important to be ethical and do things the right way, which I and so many other reputable people in adult do. Publicists are some of the most hardworking people in the industry and 90% of us do a good job, treat our clients well, and don’t always get the recognition we deserve.

But like any job, there are pitfalls and bad days. I get very upset when my clients are harassed for being racist when they don’t do interracial scenes, and then even more terrorized after they film IR. It’s a no win situation. Social media has been a blessing and a curse with fans being able to talk to porn stars without having to go to conventions, but some of them get out of control and threaten my clients or are just plain mean. It upsets me when my clients are being bullied on social media. It’s happened to me also, so it doesn’t faze me anymore.

I also get a lot of “interesting” email with guys asking me how to get into porn because they think it’s so easy and they will get paid to get laid. From working with male talent, I know that’s not the case. The guys have to come ready and in the perfect mindset. You’re only as good as your last scene, and if you fail just once or twice on set, you could be done in this biz. I have a blog (also on XCritic) about this and once you read it, you will reconsider trying to get into porn. I also get a lot of email asking me about escorting and the girls. I know “pimp” and “publicist” start with the same letter, but that’s two completely different jobs and I’m not into anything illegal.

With people trying to get free porn, the girls work less and this can frustrate them and also mean they can’t afford PR. That’s why all the porn stars and the publicists tell you to #payforyourporn. It effects everyone from makeup artists to directors to editors to agents. We always giving people the example of what would it be like if you went to work and didn’t get your bi-weekly paycheck. That’s the same as downloading free porn. You’re stealing people’s money/paychecks. This is one of the biggest problems we face and could mean the extinction of porn.

I’m proud of what I do and love my job most days. I also happy to work in an industry where women are so important. What would porn be without beautiful women? Very boring. And, adult is definitely becoming more of a woman’s world with women getting paid more, holding high positions in the industry, and making a lot of the important decisions.