I Need An Hiatus

June 14, 2013
NSFW.ARMY

For the past year fans, directors, fellow performers & companies have been asking me when my Twistys contract is up and if I would be re-signing a new contract or when I would be able to shoot for companies other than Twistys again. Last October, I started thinking about the future and what my plan would be once my contract expired with Twistys. So, I began to start prepping myself for the next chapter. Between traveling to foreign countries, shooting amazing content for Twistys, attending awesome parties, and meeting my fans I went back and fourth debating what the next step would be in an internal battle with myself. Months and months went by and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I thought I was 100% certain the next step I would make in my career, but the truth is ... I didn't. As time went on, I soon felt less and less confident in what I really wanted to do with my future or where I wanted to be in 5 years. The person I saw when I looked in the mirror every morning soon started to become very confused and very sad. That's right, I admitted it. The person I saw every morning in the mirror became very sad. Most performers would never admit it, but in this business we are still human. We experience emotions just like everyone else and even though the majority of us don't admit it, I will be the first to. Let me clarify, I wasnt sad because I was unhappy with what I have been so blessed to achieve in this business so very quickly. I love everything this business has been so generous to give me. I am especially grateful to Twistys, however I was sad at the fact that for the first time in my life I didn't know what I wanted to do next.

If anyone knows me, they know I am an extremely confident, independant and always know what I want. I'm always three steps ahead in life and I always have a game plan. For months though, I became very doubtful of myself as things began to change in my life. I no longer was a fresh faced twenty one year old dropped into ridiculous amounts of money. I was now a mature twenty four year old who has experienced more than the average person will in their entire life. I became desperate in hopes that someone, anyone, could help me figure out what exactly I wanted to do next with my life and help me find myself because I was starting to feel extremely lost. I wanted to make the right decisions and didn't want to let anyone down. Then, one evening it hit me .... my entire life I had been so busy making other people happy. For twenty four years I had always wanted to make everyone else happy and I realized I forgot about the most important person in the equation of life; myself.

I would like to say, I am a lover. I don't have one ounce of hate in my bones for anyone and that is the honest truth. I thrive for love and to make the ones I love happy. I'm a jokester and a goofy child at heart. I realized one evening when I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends that my entire life has been just about that; making other's happy and not paying attention to myself. The nice car, the nice house, the nice clothes, etc soon lost all of its value. I began to find myself again and it made me extremely happy. I began to feel like "me" and not "Brett Rossi". Yes, my persona I portray believe it or not is very different than the person I actually am. I soon began to realize there was more to life than the life that I am currently living.

I guess what I am trying to say is, as of July 1st I am announcing my hiatus from performing. I came to this conclusion because I couldnt make up my mind as to what I want to do next in life. I promised myself the day I got into this industry, the moment I felt lost I would take a break to re-evaluate my career and that is what I am choosing to do as of now. I have some future endevors for myself planned that I'm looking forward to, but I also have some great stuff for my fans coming out in the next couple months as well. I could never forget about my fans because you are the reason I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. However, as of July 1st I am going to focus on feature dancing and shooting exclusive content for my site. Don't worry, you will be able to find me on web cam and i'll still be active on my social networking sites (to an extent as that is also something I'm learning to respect more; my personal life). I say hiatus because retirement is not realistic. Retirement would mean I am leaving the industry completely, which I am not. See you soon and remember...

I love you all!!