Nobody is Coming Near My Pussy With a Razor!!!

Good Morning! (Or afternoon, depending on where you are located!) I am going to start by saying I really like oatmeal, it goes so well with coffee and is very healthy for you so that makes me smile. Does anyone really care about that? I don't think so but I do so I say it.

Last night I got an email from Sandra at OC modeling asking if I wanted to do a pee fetish video while including the scenario in the email so that I would fully know what is going on before I agreed to it. As I was considering it reading through it thinking that the worst part would just be me sitting on the toilet going pee, I started cracking up when I read that another part would be me helping a guy take a piss then washing him up. For some reason this made me think of that part in Coming to America when Eddie Murphy's servant was washing his cock in that huge bathtub and I thought I am all good with pleasing people but I am not a nurse and couldn't wash a guys cock and help him piss without cracking up and being a tad disturbed. Oh, but wait folks, this was not the ultimate deal breaker, it gets funnier! I really am not sure how agents keep a straight face when receiving requests for some of these things!

"She will sit there as I put shaving cream on her pussy and shave her." I immediately burst out in laughter and then felt my entire nether regions shiver in fear thinking oh my God! NOBODY IS COMING NEAR MY PUSSY WITH A RAZOR! That is so frightening! What if they slice off a pussy lip or worse yet, my clit! I am sorry but this is why I shave myself and do not go get waxed, I do not trust anyone down there with something that could slice, rip, cut, burn or butcher! Yeah, It was a pretty scary thought and God bless the woman that takes that job because she is braver than I!

Now that we got that out of the way, it is Tuesday which means I will be taking some questions off of my Twitter feed that you all have asked me and answering them! So here you go...

‏@carlosrsls

Q:Not that random question but since you look great can I see you tits more?

A: Google me, go buy a dvd I am on or just close your eyes and imagine my tits or just wait until I feel like posting my tits again.

@JP_Scrambles

Q: oh man do I have a script for u then. Think of it as porn noir. How do I get it to u? I'm no producer or director, just writer

A: Send it to a production company, I am just a performer at this time.

@DanteTheBarber

Q: did you see the preview for the new season of ink master?one episode is dedicated to all star wars tattoos

A: No I did not but with me having a Princess Leia tattoo I wonder why I am not on it!

‏@DebraMuffin

Q: Are your movies available on DVD anywhere?

A: Yes, check your local sex shop or just use Google.

@Thecatpenguin

Q: I see you like cats. How about cats who think they're penguins? Follow me for some catpenguin action.

A: I do LOVE cats and penguins. They're both adorable. I love how cats have little triangle ears and little mustache whisker hairs coming out of thier faces and I love how penguins are all fat and don't have legs, only feet so the way they walk is so cute, I would like to give them a nice warm coat though, or maybe a snuggie so they wont freeze to death like some did in March of the Penguins. That shit made me cry.

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I am also adding this section today because I found some funny questions that people I follow have tweeted (or retweeted) to the general public, so I will put in my two cents and laugh while I am at it :^)

@mel_brazzers

Q: is it bad if i've been wearing a tampon for 17 hours jw

A: Not if you are trying to give yourself toxic shock syndrome, ruin your clothes or make your pussy smelly.

@ComedyAndTruth

Q: Anyone ever remember that one time, before Facebook and Twitter, when we all went outside and did stuff?

A: No, I really do not remember that far back, plus who would want to go outside and get attacked by the sun and melt when they can stay indoors and type up useless shit and view pornography?

@meaniebarbie

Q: I'm confused... How come your instagram is private when your vagina is public?

A: Both of mine are public and everyone is welcome to take a peek!

@GhettoEnglish

Q: "What that is?" = What is that object your holding?

A: Your cock in the left and a dictionary in the right so I can smack your cock with the dictionary in hopes you will never say "What that is?" again!

@SaveTheBS

Q: Your motto is You Only Live Once? Thanks for identifying yourself as a whore.

A: No, my motto is I am not a whore, I am a glorified prostitute. And you're welcome.