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Chanel in London

XCRITIC

You know when you’re in the midst of something truly bizarre - it seems completely normal but the moment you realize this is not normal, you sort of have this out of body experience where you look at yourself from above and you laugh? And I don’t mean the “that is a funny joke” laugh but more like a “this is pathetic” laugh. I’m sure many have experienced this before, but I donʼt think anyone has experienced more than the performers in porn. Needless to say I, myself, have had quite a few of these, and recently I got to experience an entire slew of them in a row.

 

I was very excited to go London, as it was my first time, and I was really excited to check it out and get a break from L.A. I was hired by a company that runs stations on cable TV where men can call in and have phone sex with the girls while watching them on TV. Great! Sounded easy enough to me, and it was for the most part. You sit in a cubicle-like-setting with a bed or couch, and you wait for men to call you up and “fuck” you. At first I got a kick out of it because I was able to say all kinds of nasty bizarre things to these guys, and I felt like they were my toy that I could poke and play with. Of course I had all this energy and was bouncing all over the place shaking my tits and ass all in the camera, but this excitement quickly turned. I soon realized if you weren’t on your game you easily could become their toy and that was not something I wanted and to keep this energy up for 8 hours was not an easy task.

 

At one point during one of the nights I was absolutely exhausted. I felt like I couldn’t say one more nasty word to one more nasty person, but I had to continue so there I was, on my knees, bent over so my face was on the floor. My ass was sticking straight up in the air right towards the camera, and I had the phone on my ear and I was just droning on in a sultry, sexy voice saying god knows what, and I have to say my voice is very soothing. So soothing, in fact, I fell asleep telling some man to put his cock in my ass and stretch it open.

 

Fortunately, I awoke mere seconds later, and I don’t think anyone had noticed my eyes close and my voice trail off. I would say my 2-second nap sufficed and I continued on with the night.

 

I was on shift for a total of six nights, and every night (sometimes twice a night) I would get a call from Malcolm and his girlfriend, Barbara. Barbara was a charming gal with an adventurous sexual nature. She was also a blow up doll. Every night I would have a glorious threesome with these two. Sometimes Barbara sat on my face and I’d lick her tight little pussy while Malcolm would fuck my wet cunt. Other times Barbara and I would share Malcolm’s cock and we’d both choke on it with delight whilst he twirled our hair around his fingers. I liked Barbara. She hardly spoke but she tasted sweet, like peaches. He called me on my last night and thanked me for the amazing time and praised me for how much I turned on him and Barbara.

 

During one of my hours on the telephone I received a call and it went like this, “Hi, this is John. I’m an operator for deaf people from blah, blah, blah. Are you familiar with our services?”

 

You may be able to imagine how this phone sex conversation went, but I’m going to describe it regardless. I, of course, told the operator I had despite never receiving one of these calls in my life, but I said to carry on. He sounded like a nice, young man and he seemed a little uneasy when he read to me, “ Hi, I think you’re pretty and have nice boobies. Send” (You’re supposed say send at the end of the sentence so the operator knows to stop typing what you’re saying and send it to them).

 

So, I reply, “Thank you very much. You are very kind. What can I do for you tonight? Send.”

 

I can hear the poor guy typing in the background then try to read what the deaf person had written back to me. I could tell he was progressively getting more uncomfortable with the conversation and it basically, ended with me telling the operator, “I want to sit on your face while you suck my clit, so I can squirt in your dirty little mouth..........Send.”

 

And this was that moment when I had the out of body experience. Chanel II floated to the top of the room and looked down at Chanel I and shook her head in a tsk, tsk manner. “Really, Chanel?” is all Chanel II said to me. I realized as I sat there on camera with my legs spread open saying dirty things to a poor young man that had no desire to have me squirt in his face that I looked ridiculous and I felt ridiculous. Was all this just funny stories to bring home and tell my fans and friends or was I really absolutely humiliated? Iʼm still trying to figure that out. Until then, Iʼll remain in denial that a good percentage of the porn I shoot makes me look completely ridiculous.

 

Overall, I want to thank everyone at the company I worked for in London. Despite all the crazy calls I received during that week, everyone who worked there was amazing. They are truly the reason why I enjoyed myself, and it was especially all worth it when on one of my days off I saw this.

 

rainbow over london

 

-XO Chanel