Fucktard

***Warning*** If you are offended by the use of the word retard please read some other girl's blog!

I haven’t blogged in a really long time, and you’re probably wondering what I have been up to... or you don’t give a shit, but either way I’m going to tell you.

I know many people are envious of our jobs as sex workers. We get to have sex everyday. But many don’t realize the side that is not so appealing, and there actually are many not so appealing sides to the industry… but that goes with any job I’m sure. It’s not uncommon for us performers to have to play a character who is absolutely ridiculous, and we are asked to do pretty bizarre things on many occasions. Some weeks are better then others. There are days where I am really excited to go to work because I’m working with great people, and I know it will be a great scene. Other days I’d rather drown myself before going to work.

I have been asked to shoot milk out of my asshole, put telephones in my butt, masturbate in front of animals, douche with pumpkin spiced coffee creamer, vomit, blow up balloons, etc., and I’m sure this list is pretty vanilla compared to what many other girls in the industry have been asked to do. So you get the idea - it gets old when you know you will have to do something strange or play a character you’re not into.

The other day my agent calls me. He said, like any short, balding, Jewish man would, “Chanel! I booked you for a scene tomorrow with Fucktard18.com.” So I calmly replied, “Fucktard!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck are they going to make me do???!!!” Then he calmly replied, “Chanel, calm down!!!!! It’s super vanilla and not a big deal!!!!!!!” So then I calmly replied, “Fine!!!!!” and we hung up the phone.

The entire drive to my shoot I couldn’t help but grow more and more angry about this fucktard thing. I imagined them making me act really ridiculous and doing stupid things like trip and fall and then some douche bag comes in and fucks me (the retard). I even thought how well the site probably does because people are crazy out there in this world and plenty like that sort of thing. I imagined it being similar to the bum fights where people like to watch bums get beat up. I decided at that point that acting like a retard was where I draw the line. It was the moment that I would call my agent back and say there is no possible way I am going to go through with this…

After 30 minutes of festering, I arrived at my destination and immediately looked up the website Fucktard18.com. Here is what it said:

Information and news about FuckTard18

The real name of the site is FuckedHard18. Sometimes when people say the name of the site it sounds like they are saying FuckTard18

You can find all the "FuckTard18" videos at FuckedHard18

Check out what people are calling FuckTard18 [http://fuckedhard18.com/]

So, there you go. I would be shooting for Fuckedhard18.com the following day. I did shoot my agent a text and calmly explained what I thought he had said. My shoot went well. I got fucked hard as I usually do. It was pretty much just another day at the office for me. No falling, tripping, acting stupid and getting fucked, although I think I acted a little retarded anyway during the scene. It was on my own terms though, so I was ok with it.

The next day my agent texted me and asked how my fucktard scene went. He’s really great.

-XO Chanel