This blog is in response to Asa Akira's blog, "I Like Women That Look Like Men". I hope she doesn't mind I sort of stole her title, but it’s for a good reason. I totally know how she feels, and I want others to know.
The first time I realized I was attracted to certain masculine looking women was when I was probably 16. I worked at a coffee shop and in she walked. She was definitely not a lipstick lesbian. At that moment my body experienced a certain click. The click that's like "hello”! She wore this cool leather jacket and her hair was all short and jelled. She had a hip little earring in. Yes, it was totally weird, and I was young, so it was incredibly interesting for me to try to take her order and not make myself look like a complete, fumbling idiot.
I didn’t think about it much after because I never had a woman make me feel that way. Years went by, and the feeling was not reproduced, so I knew I wasn’t gay or bi-sexual. One day, I was watching some show on MTV, and it showed another chick, who, again, was this cool, well-kept, masculine looking women. I got that same feeling! I've now met a few random girls like this. Being with one of these girls is one my biggest fantasies right now because I have never experienced a girl like this. I still don't know what it is to this day that makes me attracted to them, and I don't really care because I like it, and that's really all that matters.
It's situations like these where girls like Asa and me get really confused. I'm not gay because I absolutely love men and their masculinity and hard cocks. I'm not bi-sexual because I fantasize more about men than women. I'm not straight either because there is something beautiful and amazing when you're with other feminine energy... and I love bi-sexual men, so what the fuck?!!!
Overall, I like to do what feels right, with whomever it feels right. So what do girls like us say when asked about our sexual orientation? We can't identify with any of the choices because no one would truly understand exactly what type of people we were and that would be an absolutely shame. Women in the industry should be proud to represent who they are and what they stand for. If we can’t correctly identify who we are, then that just sucks. Hopefully in the future the world can recognize our kind and maybe they'll even let us get married too. ;) Until then, we may just have to settle on the label bi-sexual.
-XO Chanel
Here's a photo of me from the 2011 AEE in Vegas: