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So it occurs to me as I sit here in Los Angeles traffic, “what could I actually do with my time if I wasn’t sitting here in traffic?” Also, “Who is that hot bald guy on that sign with the rippling abs?” Well, the most obvious answer to what I could be doing would certainly be that man on the sign, but I digress. Lately, I’ve updated everyone in a hail storm fury of words, my schedule and everything that comes with my ridiculously busy life. Aside from filming @itsasecret movie that will soon be released, photo shoots, meetings, my website, the upcoming AVN’s, and the beautiful men and women in my life, I realize quite suddenly the future and everything chaotic that comes with it needs to pause. Sitting here in this beautiful smog, red lights for miles, staring down at my PDA, I set it aside for a moment, and do something I haven’t done in quite some time. I breathe.  Yes, the technology lover said, “put down the PDA”.

A word pops into my head: Balance. Listen up you workaholic type A speedy mcfoos, as you will certainly relate to “balance” or “priorities” on some level. Don’t worry; I’m right there with you. I breathe again. Then I cough as a late model Iroc Z zooms past in a cloud of exhaust. I focus away from the driver’s left arm and his endless tats that probably climbed into his shirt and down his... I simply smile. Maybe somehow, traffic may just be the answer to all of this; A brief pause in life to actually stop and think about what’s important.

I ramble on so often about my adventures, but I wonder while so many certainly care about my life and appearances, films and flirtations, how many would ever stop and inquire what I do when I’m not editing, filming, or musing over new technologies?  What do I think about, ponder, and dream of? What seriously turns me on? What is the Reality Porn Star’s reality?

Everyone already gets that I love sex. It’s why I chose this career. I feel it’s always important to note that I do this by choice, and love my life. It gives me an amazing sense of confidence and self empowerment to be able to run a company, and spread my message of sexual positivity through multiple technological mediums. I always talk about breaking down boundaries, but what do I actually mean?

I stare ahead at the taillights in front me, and think for just a moment. What if everyone put down their PDA’s, rolled down their windows, and said something genuinely beautiful to the person next to them. What if they conversed? What if they actually got beyond a passing “Hey” with their head held down, and actually asked somehow what they thought, how they were doing, told them they were beautiful, even said words to the effect that they genuinely cared for their well being, and hoped they were having a wonderful day… and actually meant it.

That last paragraph just read something out of a commune in a remote uncharted territory where everyone runs around with loin clothes and peace signs. But hey, isn’t that just the point? We spend so much time “working”. Suddenly I realize just how lucky I am in my career. Yeah, staring at my computer while running my company often takes it out of me, but being able to connect with truly beautiful people in business, friendship, and often sexual relationships, honestly enables me to gain perspective. Most often, it’s my closest friends and business associates that actually enable the most amazing sexual experiences.  

So what am I saying? Should we just run around and rekindle the 70’s to the power of 10? I don’t mean we need to all become flower children, but what happened to balancing work with personal pleasure? What happened to honestly caring about people in this world. When was the last time you made a new friendship or connection with a complete stranger, let alone experience that relationship on multiple levels? This time, I’m not referring to texting, emailing, and twittering. The following statement may take people’s breath away, but is sex really that important? Well… yes it isJ. But it’s not the point. It’s just a way to communicate something deeper that we as a culture seem to be missing currently – connectivity (having absolutely nothing to do with the internet). What happened to balancing priorities with work, relationships, family, and friends, but doing this all while seeking the deepest levels of connection in every relationship you form.

I look over at the man on my left. I wonder what he’s thinking. He’s attractive, mid forties, slightly balding, looks nothing special… but I look past his looks, and he has the most wonderful energy about him. You want to know what really turns me on – serious and absolute reality: Energy. It really doesn’t matter what someone looks like. Anyone has beauty. Within that category, I find myself uniquely desiring of most people’s company, many on a sexual level, but all on an emotional or intellectual level.

My point made, now here’s the often comical down sideJ. I guess to put it simply; I’m pretty much always turned on. It’s not honestly because of someone’s rippling abs, tattoos, or shaved head. It’s just there’s so much beautiful energy in so many people that pass by, I find myself constantly stimulated. I’m not kidding. Even now, sitting in traffic, somewhere on the 405, smog literally coating my car with visibility at less than a quarter mile, I’m literally staring at every person as I pass them, wondering, watching, and waiting for a return glance, as the stimulation is utter elation and I’m literally soaked. Want to carpool?


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