My Dilemma With Masturbation

   I'd hate to say this, but if you ever were to ask me for an example of a "love / hate relationship"  in my life....I would most definitely say my relationship with masturbation. This tragic dilemma I have all started at the tender age of...well...lets leave it to your imagination. I felt that tingling sensation down there for the first time. I discovered that it felt really good when I would run it against things. From that point on it was all down hill. By the age of....ummm....a year later... I was called Miss Hump-A-Lot by my fellow peers. I would be caught humping anything from stuffed animals to a couch's arm rest (later I called that, "couch sex") oh lord... By the age of...(I don't want to get anyone in trouble)... I was a full blown masturbating addict. Anything I could stick inside me I would. I was always up for a challenge too. I suppose I was subconsciously preparing for my future career in the adult industry. Once I lost my virginity a couple of years later, I had found my only remedy to my addiction. Little did I know it was temporary. Sex was the new best thing. For example, when people are addicted to Playstation 2. They had to buy every game possible. Any moment they had available they would play their Playstation2. Their world revolved around it. But then...when they came out with the new Playstation 3...They had to have it. That became all they thought about. The Playstation 2 was packed up and put away. In my case, masturbation was packed away and SEX was my Playstation 3. So long and behold, sex was the object of my affection for the next 9 years. Last year I unpacked my Playstation 2. oh man...I probably shouldn't have done that. Masturbation got rediscovered with the help of....THE MAGIC WAND...Just having sex was not enough. I would spend hours alone masturbating in the dark. When my then fiance moved into my house I had to resort to hiding my addiction in fear of his ego possibly getting ruined. I kept my wand in my car at all times. I would create any excuse possible to spend a moment in the garage. Like an alcoholic i would run in to garage, lock the door, plug in the wand, and make myself nut squatting next to my car. WTF! I felt like a junkie, finding an excuse to run off to the bathroom to quickly slam some brown. I even felt guilty about it and finally confessed to my husband. I could have sworn he was going to think I was crazy until one night while having some crazy, stoned sex he suggested I use the wand while he fucked me. Oh Jesus Christ! Put it this way...that became my new favorite thing to do. I was using that FUCKING magic wand so much, not only was I bruising my pussy bone, but it was now taking my 20 to 30 minutes to just cum once....IF AT ALL!!! But you know what really sucks? Because of my magic wand abuse my clitoral orgasms are painfully not doing it for me like it used to. I crave that satisfaction that I rarely. After I cum I just want to cum again....geez no mercy. As a result, I created a cycle, a method, stages, rules and regulations (called it what you want) to masturbating. This was by force.