I am officially a real pornstar

Here's proof:

Yes, I was checking out the adult selection in my hotel room. Of course Bree Olson showed up like six times, and Stormy had at least three, and Electra Blue had two.... but fuck it I'm just glad I showed up at all. I will rest comfortably knowing I am now available to the millions of Hyatt patrons who pass through every year. Even more comforting is the knowledge that none of my blood relatives are among said Hyatt patrons.