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If the Bed Is a Rockin….HELP!!!! Shakin Not Stirred

XCRITIC

One of the strangest things happened to me in my life early Friday morning, and trust me, when I say weird, it must have been because I have seen a lot of oddities come across these broken down eyes.

Let me take you back if you will....

Thursday night I went to bed after catching up on some of my favorite show Law & Order SVU. I recently bought the sixth season on DVD and I think Marishka Hargitay gets hotter and hotter with each passing season. She has certainly inherited her parent's jeans. And speaking of jeans, since I have a fetish for the female form in jeans, damn she fills them out perfectly.

This is Marishka and i think she is so damn sexy.

After drooling over my SVU Detective I went to bed and wouldn't know you it, I got a call in the middle of the night and it was my horny friend. This girl is amazing, like nothing I have ever experienced before and I will just leave it at that. She drains me, leaves my head spinning and my legs weak and I always want some more.

After the midnight sex fest, I fall into a much needed sleep about 2 a.m. Then in the middle of my deep slumber I am awaken with my bed shaking like a junkie in need of a fix.

I woke up in a sweat. I thought I was dreaming, because I have some serious fucked up dreams at times, and the framed art in my room is shaking on the walls, not to mention my bed is still vibrating like those coin-operated kind you find in a sleazy back alley hotel.

There was this big "whoosh" sound and I thought an airplane had crashed near by... I guess I've been watching We Are Marshall too many times. But nope, no airplane. So was it an earthquake??? It couldn't be. How the fuck can it be an earthquake, I live in the middle of nowhere, in fucking ILLINOIS, we don't have earthquakes here, and we have tornados and a lot of corn and cows.

This is what the landscape looks like near my house

So fuck I had to be dreaming and I went back to bed.

I get up at 8:30 the next morning still tired from the fucking and the bed rattling nightmare. I stumble to turn on the television and the local news geek is rambling on about the 5.2 earthquake we had last night. I KNEW IT. I wasn't imagining things. Come to find out there is a fault line in Evansville, Indiana about three hours from here and that was the epicenter of the quake. The effect went all the way from Evansville to Louisville to Chicago where it shook some skyscrapers.

Come to find out this happens every ten years, almost exactly the same time. So I will be sure to be aware in 2018.... If I am still here.

XoXoX

TROY


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