The Phoenix Forum, my favorite Dutchmen, and some good OCD (off camera dick)

I meet up with Lexi Belle in the airport, and within 5 minutes of talking to here decide this is the chick I want to room with. She's shitting sunshine adorable, and ready for a fun weekend. I see Mikayla and Lichelle sitting next to eachother and the only person that I thought I was looking for was Brooke Bell. Whatever, later when we were waiting for our luggage, it turns out Lichelle and Mikayla don't now eachother, hahaha, and had been sitting next to eachother the whole time, and I wasn't supposed to be looking for Brooke Bell, but Lexi Belle who I had been with the whole time. We are a pretty obvious group of girls, so Roald, the first FreeOnes dutchman I meet, and later adore. I ask him:

So whats the plan, what time you want us there, what are we doing, and what would you like us to wear.

Roald: Whooaaaaa, take it easy! You aren't signing anything, you are going to just have fun, and have some drinks, and hand some things out at the pool. 

Me: what do you mean have fun and hang out at the pool.

Roald: I mean, you wear freeones bathing suits and hand out things to people. Calm down. 

As I walk away to grab a cab with Mikayla, we discuss his statement. 

Mikayla: what do you mean he said have fun. 

Me: I don't know. Thats what he said. We have fun, and hang out and have drinks and have fun. 

Mikayla: Hmmmmm.......

And fun is what we had. After being given a ton of Freeones shirts and panties and hats, we made our way down to the free buffet and open, yes I said open, bar and Dodgeball competition. After getting my ass beat by the hottest, baddest chick ever, Megan QT, I finally came to understand what Freeones meant by have fun. The whole weekend, Free. Whatever you want. There were these little rooms, with everything you've ever wanted, set up like a little mini-mart. Everytime I went in, I felt like I was robbing the place while the attendant was away. So I made sure to grab arm loads of stuff, and hand that out too, kind of like Robinhood of the Munchies. I steal from the mart and give to the stoned. ha. All day saturday, I "bought" people Jagerbombs at the open bar, and make em drink with me. The bartender knew me quite well and I was made great friends with the EMT who could have had to save my life, if I hadn't been so responsible, drinking water after each jagerbomb). Side note? The cups for the jagerbombs had a shot sitting in the middle of it. When I did my first one, I felt like I was looking down into a castle of Jager, surrounded by a Redbull moat, Moose swimming in the juice as they flowed down the old hatch.

I made friends with everyone I could, finally met Mark and his lovely wife Margie, of BlazingBucks.com, who are doing my site along with Puma, Bree, and possibly Eva's, hung out with the great folks of the recently acquired Porn.com, and even attended an elite dinner with the industry's finest web masters, kicking it with Scott of BlazingBucks.com, Mikey Cardone of Vivid, and of course, my Freeones Dutchies. 

***Let me tell you about the flying Dutchman. The aforementioned Roald is the right hand man of the owner, Maurice, and both hail from Holland. At first, Maurice was a bit shy, but as the weekend progressed, opened up, relaxed and enjoyed himself.  I kept telling them they were like "Eggs Benedict with Hollandaise sauce" but something was lost in the translation. At one point, over three glasses of pinot noir and a medium rare petite fillet, I explained to them what a Dutch-Oven is, and by the end of the conversation, had stomach cramps from laughing so hard. 

Roald: Yes, I do that all the time, but why does it have to be a Dutch thing? 

me: hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Freeones celebrated their 10th year anniversary by kicking off the hot Arizona spring, pool party style, and  the main event (besides free lunch and a jagerator) a musical chairs competition; women only. Because Maurice requested us to get as many participants as possible and asked me to MC the contest, I figured, fuck it, I know these bitches! Just sign em up and tell em later, before we play. Put them on the spot, and then they will have to come play games with me, and really, when are we ever going to get to play musical chairs again? And of course, when I walk around the pool personally requesting my favorite women of porn to play with me...they agree. 

After seeing the girls of my dreams, i.e. Puma Swede, Brooke Haven, Brianna Love, Lexi Belle, Lichelle, Mikayla, all the girls from Phil-flash Cash, and katja and Megan QT dodgeball queen(the one above in a blue school girls uniform, white socks, red heels), and some more that I apologize for not knowing better, run circles around the kiddie pool, scantily clad in freeones bikinis, the fire turns up a notch and girls started wrestling for chairs. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT. You wouldn't believe it! the Contest came down to Megan and Katja, and Megan ended taking the last chair, only to show us that she had pretty much broken her arm at some point in the wrestle. The most savage chick I have yet to meet, and she's there accepting her giant oversized check with a huge lump growing around her wrist. 

After a day of drinking at the pool, and when I say drinking, I mean I bet you ten bucks that there isn't a single person there who didn't take a jager shot with, around, or nearby, me, (that was a strange sentence yeah?). Maurice, Lexi and I decide to go over to the GirlsGoneWild party at Cherry Lounge. Its okay, I end up smoking more cigarettes than "early Penny Flame", and still taking more Jagerbombs than Snugs, floating down the American River in Sac-town, ever could. I make friends with the camera guy Paul, from GGW, and this adorable little chick named Ashley, who was ready to go home and fuck the shit out of her man.....lucky guy!

I go back to my room post party and chill with Lexi for a while. The first breath I have really taken over the whole weekend, just sitting on there on my bed, thinking...about earlier in the day by the pool, and conversation with one of the most forward thinking and innovative young men of the web and adult industry. Perhaps I should give him a call....its only.....

3 a.m.

I hope he's still awake.

TO BE CONTINUED.....