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Finally, all this cock sucking pays off

XCRITIC

Ah yes. Paid Dues. I guess the saying is good all around. You gotta pay your dues before you can get shit, before you can claim shit, before you can be shit. You have to pay your dues all throughout your life. Whether its in porn or writing. In movies or Broadway. Even corporate America requires you to pay some dues. So when I finally got to see Paid Dues on Saturday, it all made sense. Every cock I have ever sucked ran across my mind (yes, think of it now, millions of legged cocks dancing across my tiny mind, twirling, doing pirouettes and fuetes and shit.....brilliant), and every one of them shouted "Yes Penny Flame. You sucked me so that this moment right now would happen. So that you could...."


Get it! All I wanted to do was get in the motherfucker. I was running around this fucking festival like a mad woman. From gate 1 to gate 8, no back to gate 1, no they gave me the wrong info, try will call, no try the guest list, no try the press (all of the above looked at me like I was on crack when I told them that I should be on Murs list, and UnderGroundHipHop.com's list). And I suppose I should explain something before I dive into the misery of running gate to gate....When i woke up the morning of the concert, Saturday morning, I received a note from Murs asking for the name on my ID....so I emailed it to him hoping that he would receive it in time, but to no avail, that is not the way my ship sailed. My ship always seems to sail late by the way, so this was no surprise. I was just nervous that I wouldn't be able to get in, and being that I had hooked three other people up with VIP tickets, if I didn't get one too, well, you can imagine me standing outside the box office, no wait, laying on the ground kicking my feet and waving arms wildly, crying big stupid alligator tears as the man said "no fuego, not today". 
Well fortunately that didn't happen. Although my email was not received in time by my favorite rapper, the kind men over at UnderGroundHipHop.com made sure to take good care of me. In fact, Trees, my contact at UGHH, (and possibly my future x boyfriend after I take him to the AVN awards and he gets down with some new bitch at the circle bar....I can just see it..... Me: "What the fuck? You're my date? Why you gonna holler at this little slut????" Trees: "Baby, she just threw herself at me! What was I supposed to do???" Me: "Goddamnit Trees I told you I'd get you whatever bitch you want, don't take the first one that throws herself at you or we'll never get off the casino floor!" Trees: "Fine. I'm sorry. Now what say we go burn one and see if we can get kicked out of NYNY for being to drunk"....hehehe) made sure that things flowed like water over river rocks. Like eros from that little black bottle. Like tears from the new girl who's gag reflex is still intact. Trees took such good care of me that we had all star parking (which I didn't know, and ended up getting rear ended in the dirt lot, motherfucker didn't even leave a note...), front door access, drink tickets, and backstage passes. Well, the guys tickets didn't get them backstage, but AngelPies power of persuasion got her back, I however was way too into Sage Francis to care....but I bet mine could have ended me there too. 
This is how I looked before we got into the show. 

:-(

This is how I looked after I spoke with Trees and he made my happiness grow. 
In fact, in honor of Trees, we headed straight to my favorite place, to make sure that everyone was ready for the Visionaries. 
and ready isn't even the right word. The way this show was set up, there was barely anytime in between artist to refill on my drink (good idea, especially since hip hop was based and created around no drugs, no booze, and dre used to rap about being above the influence...).
Hiero put it down like only Hiero can. I mean, they have been performing for what....ten years now? Are you shitting me? Its longer than most these cats have known what hip hop is. I love hiero, always have, always will, even though they didn't play my favorite song "Soweto", they did play some super hits, "After Dark" and "Oakland Blackouts" being the two big ones of the set. 
Legends got on stage and killed it. I'm stoked for their new album, the gathering. Every single track has every single legend on it, and even though Lucky had on some Stewie dumb stunners on, I think it will be good for the over all "togetherness" of the group. I like Murs' one giant dread. It made me think of him like the Lion of Judah, a big mane that he'd bounce with the beat. Nevermind. Sorry. 
I caught some of Jedi, but had to had to had to refill my drink. Not just with booze, but with water. Gotta keep the agua coming if the runs coming. gotta keep it all, fluid. 
Made it back in time for Dilated Peoples, and after Evidence's performance, I'm considering myspacing him and proposing. THEY STOLE THE SHOW!!!! The crowd was hyphy, everyone knew every word, and the vibe was just right. And Evidence??? Like I said, he has already been my boyfriend (in my mind...)and I think I'm just about ready to take it to the next level. He does live in LA, so that is good, and I will have to double check, but I feel like he is single. That could just be because I want him to be. wishful thinking. Anyway, this is where I went right before he got me all pumped up.....
and you can see from the squint that I made my way into the back lounge area to partake of some sticky green. You can also see UnderGroundHipHop.com's awesome label, that tough little guy with his hat all backward. So hip hop. Oh and the booze. This one is forshiggido for Trees. (Sorry, I'm cheating on you with Evidence....) This is how I enjoyed my drink once inside the concert. 
After Dilated Peoples killed it, Little Brother came on, (who didn't put on the show I had hoped considering his albums are total slappers) and then of course Sage Francis, who's lyrics are more along the lines of poetry, and his beats these gloriously mesmerizing tunes, his voice occasionally bringing you back into the now with a POP. 
And then thats all she wrote. I have been recovering ever since, and we are all the way on Tuesday. Someone hit my car, (I don't really care to be honest), I did some donuts in the Benz pre-show, (cuz after they just think you're drunk...) and had an awesome Saturday night thanks to the guys at UGHH.com. I should have taken more pictures, but at a certain point in the night, inbetween funnel cakes and rum and sprites, I just said fuck it. 
I'm just gonna listen to the music. 

This morning, on an entirely different note however, I woke up with little red itchy bumps all over my.....sides and back (don't worry folks my AIM test came back clean clean clean). And so for the first half of the morning, I figured I was being punished for something, by god, or buddha, or whoever felt malicious enough to curse me with itchy red bumpy owies. I went to take new pictures for LA direct, and that is when my make-up artist informed me that no, God isn't punishing you. Your cat has fleas and you obviously need to have a little flea killing party. A little flea-acaust if you will. So thankfully, I will not be dying today. Well, actually who knows that kind of shit, talk about a responsibility. But I won't be dying from itchy red bumpy scratch scratch. Here is my new tattoo. Don't mind to flea bites on my back though.....they should go away. I think the tattoo will stay though. 

Thanks again UnderGroundHipHop.com....not only do you keep me up on all the hottest shit, you got my half-naked, fully drunk ass in. 

Now, anything I can do for you....(pictures, shout outs, blow bangs....) holler at your girl. 
P the funky friggity flame diggity. 
All Damn Day. 
(and Trees......you're the man!!!)

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