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back in SD, to enjoy a moment of sunshine….

XCRITIC

What a little week? Pretty much any time that you don't see either a daily update, or tri-weekly update, you can figure that my week is pretty full and hectic. But most people's weeks are crazy like that, so I suppose I shouldn't make it sound like a big deal. In fact, the majority of America (I heard recently on Fox News) works like 9 and 10 hour days, 5 to 6 days a week, barely sleeps, and eats like crap. So I definitely shouldn't make it sound like a big thing that I had to work four days in a row. OOOO......four days huh flamer? 

Yeah. Kinda lame when I think about it. Okay, no more excuses. NO MORE EXCUSES FLAME!
Now that I have excused myself for not excusing myself, I feel I can move on to the blog portion of my day. hmmmmmm......what am I going to do today? 

A big fat nothing. Its going to be great. I woke up at 8, made some coffee (maui grown, pretty strong because I'm all go go go right now), did some laundry, had a protein shake, now I'm going to share my game plan with you, and then go out into the world and execute said plan. 

Step 1: finish talking to you
Step 2: eat some string cheese, or maybe a yogurt
Step 3: go to the gym
Step 4: Go tan a little
Step 5: eat lunch (perhaps I will video tape it for my website!) 

OHHHH! Did I tell you guys??? I got PennyFlame.com back from that scummy fuck sucker John Stevens! HORAAAY FOR ME!!! well, actually, I couldn't have done any of it without Scott Hancock over at BlazingBucks, he pretty much saved my little "site" and is helping me to revamp, helping me to make it a site worth paying for. So as part of the site, I decided to start video taping large portions of my life, (like showering, cooking, masturbating) but not (reading, writing or picking my nose, because I don't think you want to see that). hmmm. So yes. Last night, I took a shower with my video camera, made a lovely little dinner, and passed out on the couch. Although I didn't get the passing out part on film, I figure the rest is grade A stuff. I spoke with B-snaps, and he suggested that I always look "somewhat perfect" for my fans. 

I said not a chance in fucking hell. No freaking way can I always look somewhat perfect. I told him that in case he hadn't noticed, "I'm NOT perfect, let alone always somewhat perfect looking" and I think that the guys who like me like me because of that. Because how hard is it to beat off to someone that you don't think you could ever have? I mean, I can't! I hate thinking about these beautiful guys that have no flaws, and would never give me a second look. I want to masturbate to the thought of someone who I actually have a chance with. Someone that I could meet walking down the street, or at your local coffee shop. I want a real person. Because that is what I am. 

He said I'm wrong. 

I said I don't give a fuck. If a fan is looking for the perfect unobtainable woman, then he should look elsewhere because I ain't that bitch! 

I did look perfect the other day though, on set with Adam&Eve and Zero Tolerance, thanks to Lee Garland, the notoriously divalishous make-up artist who is the fabulous man behind such flawless faces as Tera, and Jenna, and plenty of Penthouse and Swim mag ladies.....Thanks to Lee, my sweet little face appeared flawless.... 
which isn't to say that I am not flawed. We're talking outside here folks. So I looked perfect.....
until Ava Rose and Bree Olson demanded that I show them my pooh face, which looks like this...



And I said now that I've shown them mine, they gotta show me theirs.....which looked like this



which made me wonder.....does Bree stick her tongue out when she poos all by herself? Or just in our presence? hmmmm.....a little poo for thought, (which is different than food for thought, thank god).

Well, before this fun pooh oriented afternoon, I stopped at coffee-bean to fill up my caffeine meter, and low and behold, someone had been even more asleep than I apparently. I guess the valet at coffee bean was out of order, so the driver took matters into his/her own hands. And I stopped for a photo op....



But I was awake because I had already hiked to the top to the world, which looks like this:



So I came down because I had to, and because I had to go to work with the lovely pooh face girls I mentioned above. Pretty funny day actually. (I had originally intended on this being a short blog, but we all know once I start its a bit hard to shut me up!). So Bree, Ava, Courtney Cumms, Sunny Lane, Elektra Blue, myself, and a couple other ladies that I can't seem to think of right now all spent the day at Roy Rogers Beach along PCH, shooting James Avalons new flick "Roller Dollz", and we spent the entire day skating around the boardwalk, flashing people, fucking around with eachother, and just having fun! About an hour before sunset, this van load of Australian tourist rolls through the parking lot to see what is going on. Its like 8 guys who are on a little round-about tour of this side of the world, started in Hollywood, grabbed some brews, headed to the beach (where they found an entire parking lot of pornstars skating in barely anything), and were then heading to Las Vegas to gamble the rest of their funds away and then down to Cancun, (had we heard of Cancun? ah, yes, I think I've heard of it hahahha....) and I can't help but think. 

Are these the luckiest guys on the face of the fucking earth? Who else has this kind of luck? To "happen" upon and entire set of pornstars fucking around at the beach. I mean, they couldn't have paid for a better day! I would have been so stoked if I was them! That is until Sunny and I skated over to their van and tried to steal it, but smart guys, they brought the keys....

Anyway, this is what the sun looked like as it dipped into the pacific ocean, 


right before I stole up Topanga canyon, into the falling darkness slowly blanketing the valley of porn. 

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