A Whale of a Tale, and a new friend…

February 28, 2008
NSFW.ARMY

Some sort of
something huh flame? I will tell you something.... I may never let my mom read my
blog again. Not that I have any choice now that I have shown her the url, but
she read yesterdays, and the day before, and yes she enjoyed it. Yes she
thought I am a good writer, that is to say, well written, but you know what she
says? "You didn't tell them where he lives did you?" (referring to B-snaps,
because for some unknown reason, she thinks I will tell the world wide web my
street address and invite you all over to rape and pillage my home and body.)
"No, mother, I didn't tell them where I live, don't worry." Okay good, is her
quick reply, and I ask if she is going to read my blog or if she is just going
to worry about the things I say in it. "I'M YOUR MOTHER, I'M ALLOWED TO WORRY!"

She has a point.
She IS allowed to do whatever she wants, partially because she had a large hand
in my creation, and partially because, well because she says so. That has been
her reasoning behind things for awhile now....because I say so....and I wonder.
When do I get to use that? When I give birth? When I produce three lovely
children, help them into adulthood and then move to Hawaii to live happily ever
after? Huh? HUH? (to which she would reply "yes, that IS when" and then pat me
lovingly on the head and walk into the other room signifying that the
conversation is now over, and there is no more to say) ((and if you have ever
been in an argument with me, you now know where my reasoning and logic comes
from)). Well, she makes it about two lines into each paragraph, gets distracted
by what I am saying in the paragraph, ande begins to worry. Worries about me
dreaming about my x boyfriends (I can't help it mom, I wish I didn't too),
worries about me not getting my funds together to move (mom, I swear you don't
worry as much as I do, "OH NO, I WORRY MORE, I AM YOUR MOTHER), so in
retrospect, to yesterdays blog, She is right. She wins this one. Mom? YOU WIN.
YOU WORRY MORE THAN ME.

Okay, now that
that is out of the way, I feel like I can blog properly, and not worry about my
mom worrying about me worrying more than she worry's about worrying.

For fuck sake,
drop it flamer. Move on.

Okay, now she is
taking a picture of me....which I will insert here.

And here.

She
took two because she is OCD and wanted the windows to be square. And then she
took about ten more because she wanted to clean things out of the way so I had
a perfect picture for my blog. I love my mother more than any one else on
earth. But don't tell her that. Okay, you can tell her.

So how did the
day go you ask? Today in paradise with dinero du fuego? Well.....it started with
a great conversation with a new friend....who I will lovingly refer to as
Achilles. Achilles and I spent the better half of the morning chatting away and you know what? It is
always nice to meet someone that whether we are on the record or not, is
willing to speak candidly, willing to speak openly, and willing to laugh not
only at other people, but at ourselves. And we had a laugh we did. A couple
actually. Achilles and I spent about an hour on the phone this morning, from
about 9 something to 10 something. We spoke about love, love lost, art, lost
creativity, creativity found and then lost, we spoke of just about everything
under the sun. And then we started the interview. Unfortunately, just as soon
as we started to get down and dirty, my whale of a tale adventure was
beginning, so I had to postpone our chat for later in the day. In the meantime, Achilles, here is my favorite Dali painting. Its called Ballerina In A Deaths Head.

My step-dad and
I went to get my mamma from work and then we all went to Maa'alea Harbor, which
is the second windiest harbor in world. From there, we and all these lovely
people, who I can only assume come from the middle of America due to their neon
fanny packs, hopped on board for our two hour hump back whale tour. The guide
said we may see 5-10 whales. We saw 10 on the way out, were completely
surrounded at one point, (a competition of males to the left furiously slapping
their pecs and heads, tail slapping and breaching as though we weren't sitting
there, jaw on the poop deck hahaha poop, and a mama and her calf to the right
with the mama doing her best to teach her son or daughter to slap his/her
tail), and then on our way back in, another 10 breaching spouting, slapping,
padunkling, and then we are about 30 minutes out and suddenly? Bottle nose
dolphins surround our boat and start jumping, diving, dancing, flipping (well,
maybe not Seaworld flipping, but close enough for me). Amazing. Absolutely
fucking amazing. What a day? I wish I had pictures that I could upload here,
but I took them on my real camera as opposed to my Iphone, and don't have the
things I need to upload here, in Hawaii. Then we came back into harbor, thanked
our guides, had a little lunch, some brews, and made our way back to S. Kihei.

Where I
immediately picked up my excellent conversation with Achilles. At one point, I
forgot it was an editor I was speaking with and that we were actually doing an
interview, and realized, Wow. This is a really great person. This is someone
who I will probably end up being friends with for the rest of my life. This is
someone who I am stoked to add to my friend list, and I'm not talking about
Myspace. This is someone who.....I would tell my real name to. Hahahaha. Not that
Penny Flame isn't my name but......hahahahah. Oh lord, don't ruin the fantasy
flame. Don't ruin the fantasy. Well, my new friend Achilles, here I am on the
lanai, blowing you a kiss from paradise.