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a cruise and an orgasm I’ll never forget

XCRITIC

I was going to start writing this last night, but I had a Valentine's Day date with my daughter, Isabella.

A few weeks ago I went on a cruise with my daughter. I was supposed to go on the Vince Neil Motley Cruise with one of my closest friends, David Lord, but he got scheduled by Adam & Eve to direct a Kayden Kross movie, so he had to bow out. With about 3 weeks left before the cruise, I scrambled to find someone who could leave their lives for 5 1/2 days. No luck.  So I took my daughter.

At Key West, the first port, we had a scheduled kayak/snorkeling trip. We were running late getting off the boat, so I didn't buy sunblock at the gift shop. I figured I could buy it at a stand on the boardwalk. There'd be a stand on the port boardwalk, right?  Wrong. The cruise ships have to dock at Key West at a locked-down military base of some type, so there is nothing at all when you first get off the ship. And the captain of our snorkel trip came to meet us at the docking area to take us directly to the boat.

We went to her catamaran, and I asked her if there was someplace where I could buy sunblock. She said she'd let me borrow some. I immediately put sunblock on my daughter, but for some reason which I still can't figure out, decided I could wait until later.  Blah...  Well, airhead that I am, I completely forgot and ended up getting burnt, cause I'm about as white as you can get.  I've had bad sunburns before, and this wasn't anywhere near the worst, so before I got back on the boat, I bought some aloe vera and figured I'd be OK.

The next night, I had been drinking up a STORM in Cozumel, Mexico on the first day of Carnival, known in our part of the world as Mardi Gras.  There were $3 32oz. mugs of cerveza (that's beer, for you non-alcoholic non-Spanish speakers). I had... oh, 4 of them over a 3 hour time period. That night, I had an amazing wet dream. When I woke up, my pussy was aching and literally soaking wet, and my clit was throbbing.  I hadn't brought any toys with me on the trip, so I decided to make good use of the handheld showerhead in the bathroom.

(My Penthouse cabin on the boat, complete with large bathroom and private balcony:)

The shower is one of my favorite places to masturbate. First of all, I'm a squirter, so in the shower I can have as many orgasms as I want without having to worry about getting everything around and under me soaked. Second, I have a huge thing for being wet and especially under running water or the rain.

So I soaped up my body with my current favorite sensual shower wash, Bath and Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom. (My favorite sexy, but less outright sensual, shower wash is Satsuma from The Body Shop.) All soaped up and with the shower steamy and smelling oh-so sexy, I used a heavy stream of water on my nipples and then on my pussy. I was careful to avoid letting too much water hit my arms and the front of my calves, which were what were the most sunburnt, and the water was kind of stinging my skin. I let my mind wander back to the object of my dream, a gorgeous man with full, sensual lips who has an amazing ability to make me cum within seconds over and over. OK, I'm multi-orgasmic, anyway, but in my dream, I was giving all the credit to the guy.

I've always been blessed with being able to have really strong orgasms. Unfortunately, on that night, it wasn't a blessing. While I would usually start to feel my body tingle a little, then feel the orgasm start around my clit and travel through my body, this time it was different. My body started to tingle, but as I was reaching orgasm, I felt my skin start to burn. All of a sudden, in the middle of what should have been an amazing orgasm where I definitely would have squirted, my skin started to feel like someone was electrocuting me. Being in the middle of an orgasm, my brain wasn't functioning at full capacity, so I didn't immediately stop masturbating. Within a couple more seconds, I was in such horrible pain from the needling pain in the nerves shooting out to my skin every place that I was sunburnt, that my mind finally snapped in focus, and I hung the showerhead up. I turned the water colder and decreased the intensity of the water stream and let the cold water soothe my nerves while I caught my breath. I stepped out of the shower, put aloe vera on and my comfy thick cotton pajamas from the Gap, and gingerly slipped under the covers.

I'm all for intense orgasms, and I'm almost never one to shy away from sexual pain, but that was an orgasm I don't think I want to repeat any time soon. A week later, back in Los Angeles, all of the redness was gone from my skin, and I was finally brave enough to see if I could have a pain-free orgasm. Good times. :)

-February 15, 2008


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