a great day, a fantastic dinner, and a little bit o pussy

Last night you say? Well, last night was the xbiz awards, a good time all around. I was ready to meet Trisha Uptown, Steve Javors, Justin Kane of Spunked (and his loverly laderly), and my sweet little Angel Pie at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollyweird. Unfortunately, Underpants and I are the only timely whores in the porn business, so we both showed up on time at 7:45 and the rest of our party showed at 8:20. Okey dokey. that will teach us to show up somewhere on time. NEVER AGAIN! ha, alright, that is a big fat lie. I can't help but be on time. I hate being late. It makes me physically ill, so I'd prefer to sit alone than be late. Which is what we did. Except we were with eachother. So technically we weren't alone. Anyhoot, Javors shows finally, and we proceed over to Highlands, 4th floor, red carpet blah blah blah. Meet up with Angel Pie right outside the carpet area, decide to take some candid photos, oh boy pix, oh boy oh boy oh boy. What's up press.....gotta love these guys. 

Now for those of you who don't know who the right people to befriend are, well, I suppose I will tell you here. The best people in the industry are not the fine slutty girls and guys that I have the pleasure of fucking day in and day out. Oh no. The best people in the industry are the press. Without the press, we would all be nothing. We'd be worthless. In fact, the only reason anybody knows we go anywhere is because the press, (fine gentlemen like Gordon, and scott, and Nikki, etc) is there to record it, proof that we exist outside of dirty films, and actually do wear clothes when we are in public. well, I spot Sunny Lane and her sexy ass self sifting through the crowd, grab her by one of those soft well manicured paws and bring her right up into our little group. Steve Javors, being one of the head editors over at Xbiz, takes a couple pictures surrounded by his favorite ladies, (a bit arrogant of myself to include myself hahahha....), and then he ducks out so Sunny, Trisha and I can get our naughty poses on. Yes. Naughty they are. Not naughtier than the lovely Eva angelina or Gianna Lynn who are posing before us, and definitely naughtier the cabbage-patch-esque Casey parker who poses after, but we do our best and move along inside. Once in the entry way of the venue, the gentleman behind me asks if the girls showing their nipples are with us, to which I reply "no, we only roll with classy whores" and then reveal my incredibly large buttocks and laugh into my red bull vodka. Good times. 

Now in order to be able to reach me in time for my presenting dealie, the fine folks at Xbeezy give me this pager that will vibrate when they need me to go backstage and prepare for whatever prepared speech they have prepared. hahaha. like that? It's like cheesecake factory, except instead of being a coaster that vibrates its simply an old pager that vibrates. And not like the good vibrating like my hitachi vibrates, but like a tease my battery is dying kind of vibrating. buzz. pause. buzz pause. bullshit, this wont get me off at all, looks like it goes in my bra, along with everything else. (whenever I go out, I put everything in my bra because I don't want to bring a purse. So at the end of the evening you can imagine my surprise when I take off all my clothes, and BLAOW! everything falls out, and its like christmas. Minus  the sleigh and reindeer and whatever. Okay, back to my mission. Got the pager. Now for a drink. I do believe that v.i.p. is toward the back.....shall we? 

Upon entering vip, it was obvious that well.....pretty much everybody I know has vip. I guess we are all very important people. who knew? I kept passing someone I didn't want to see, but he was right by vip so I had to keep passing him to get to the free drinks. Good thing I had a lady on each arm, and men waiting both in the vip and the smoking lounge. And good thing I didn't really give a fuck, otherwise, I may have given a fuck. hahahah. yes. I don't have to make sense, I just have to make porn. 

I got to present the award for best new starlet with Karen Staggliano, loverly laderly that she is, and we decided right before we went on stage that we would not discuss x boyfriends, we would keep it strictly business. Which meant bree olsen was going to get her goddamn award whether we gave it to her or not. done. Award given. Toast. 

D sypher won for best feature director. yeaaaaaahhhhhh d. 

Eva won for female performer of the year.......hoooooorrrrraaaaaaayyyyyy e. 

I turn into a pumpkin if I stay out past midnight, so at 12:15, and with seeds starting to develop inside of my belly, Angel Pie and I made our get away. yes. run away from all the fine porn people. as much as I love you all, you have never seen me in pumpkin form, and that is why you still like me. 

***highlight of the evening, I met Stoya, the new DP girl, and wow. Fucking beautiful. She was dressed in this conservative piece, and all I wanted was for her to lift up that naughty little dress and show me something pretty. mmmm.......I suppose dreams will have to do for tonight. 

So, then today, I had the luxury of sleeping in till 10. Hit up a big hike in topanga with my dogs and B-snaps, and then off to work for Blue moon/pink visual at 1. good times. Got to partake of sammy rhodes (twice in one week, first for Belladonna, and now today) and a new girl going by Jordan. I want to say jordan sparks but that's the american idol chick and I don't think she'd be down for me to lick her twat. well....all right. I can't make that kind of judgement call. 

:)

After work I met up with some amigos, Lisa Ann included and went to a wonderful dinner at Coy in Holly to the hood. WIth the fine and sexy men of Brazzers. Brazzers guys may be some of my favorite guys on earth. Easy going, real, mellow, and down to earth, there is nothing better than meeting guys that are under 30, making millions of dollars, and still have some modesty and humility. Dinner was fantastic. Had this crazy tuna roll with these yummy crunchy things on top. I don't even know. and then this lava cake, oh god, volcano cake, with ice cream and dream sauce, (also known as fudge). After dinner, Lisa Ann and I smoked a cigarette (yes, bad penny flame smoking cigs again bad bad bad) and then we avoided the TMZ guys, figuring they should be out covering brittany instead of us, horny and whorish porn girls. 

Now, I'm back at home, about to crash and I just wanted to share.....

I think I really did make an excellent choice in deciding to get into porn, and make a career out of it. A lifestyle if you will. I think that this......this is the life for me.