The top pick of the week was easy when we read about Manhunters,
the premium blockbuster of the year from Wicked Pictures. Don Houston said of the movie: Brad Armstrong has been one of my favorite feature directors in porn in recent years, plying his trade at Wicked
Pictures in such a way that when given the budget, he can go toe to toe with anyone in the industry; usually coming out on top. His latest release is the yearly blockbuster Manhunters,
a tale of female bounty hunters that take on any challenge to get the job done. It looks like Brad went for a drama with some nice comedic touches to lighten the mood; a delicate balance that few of his peers could handle without either slipping into self parody or coming off as too serious, a tribute to his skill. I admit that I like his bigger features better than his modest efforts and this was my favorite of the year (though both Eternity and Curse Eternal were really fun too). The cover said it like this: ‘They're Coming For You! Bail jumpers beware, there's a whole new breed of bounty hunters in town. And hell hath no fury like a woman with a badge. But don't be fooled by their soft curves, these bounty-hunting bitches are as tough as nails, and ready for anything. Follow Rachel (Jessica Drake) and her crew, Kris (Carmen Hart), Bobbi (Kristen Price), and Maria (Exotica) as they scour the city in search of fugitives. From gang-bangers, to bank robbers, to thug rappers, they're hot on the trail. And be assured, these ladies always get their man. This shot on film blockbuster is a true piece of action-erotica. With nine intense sex scenes and edge of your seat action sequences, Manhunters is sure to entertain and arouse. Award winning director Brad Armstrong blurs the line between adult movies and mainstream cinema once again.
This time, with a little help from these bad-ass bounty hunters.'
Manhunters was a classic feature by director Brad Armstrong for Wicked
Pictures that used almost all of their contract gals to full advantage. It truly managed to combine the better elements of a mainstream movie and a high end feature porno with plenty of fuck for the buck, an incredible package of extras, and a diverse selection of scenes that refused to follow the usual cookie cutter approach most feature producers seem to rely on these days. Jessica and Carmen were incredible and the other ladies all added something special to the movie so you can see why Manhunters
is one of my top features of the year. The acting was above average, the script well written with the audience in mind, and this became a clear contender for a number of awards for more reasons than I care to go into. There were some rough edges with the picture and the decision to use film instead of video or digital caused problems for me (ultimately lowering the rating a notch) but as far as features go, you'll be hard pressed to find more than a handful even coming close to this one in terms of entertainment value, strokability, and replay value so I rated it as Highly Recommended. Great job!
Digital
Playground continues their winning streak from what we saw our early peek of Jack's Big Ass Show 4: "a show that continued the heated sex of Jack's Big Ass Show 3. If you like watching gals with ample ass cheeks playfully having sex with a single male partner, this is probably the place to be for you since Robby doesn't feel the need to incorporate circus act or degrading sex to warm up his intended audience. That said, there were five scenes here, four of which were really good or better, so if you're still reading this sneak preview (it comes out next month), you might want to prepare to shell out some dough for it. Gianna and Naomi easily led the pack but Cassandra and Candy provided ball draining performances too. The movie was shorter than I prefer but I can't say that Jack's Big Ass Show 4 was lacking in replay or stroke value, so I thought a rating of Recommended was appropriate. In general, the movie showed that Robby doesn't need the appeal of a mega-contract star to provide great performances but another scene would have helped. In all then, check this one out if you prefer quality over quantity.
We also got an early look at some ripe rumps thanks to Combat
Zone with their release of Big Phat Onion
Booty: "by director Rico Strong for Combat
Zone showed a lot of potential and while the ladies weren't exactly what I favor in my porn, all but one of them seemed to be giving it up really well. The extras were light, the ladies owning up to their fleshy asses, and the technical values in need of some extra polishing up, but Big Phat Onion Booty served up the booty burgers well and I can suggest this one as Recommended for all the right reasons. Heated sex, lots of chemistry, and a playfulness often missing in some of the works of better known black directors marked this entry into the urban porn wars of the gonzo field, showing that company owner Dion Giarrusso still has the knack for picking out diamonds in the rough. Give it a look and then give me a holler but look for this when it comes out next month if it suits your needs."
Thorne in Your Side - Porn Ramblings From Chris Thorne
I'm back (like a bad rash), and if you missed my debut column then I'm deleting you from my Myspace Friends list. OK, I'll give you one more chance to get off your ass and read it.Good, now we're all on the same page!
So my week didn't even have a chance to get going before I got a note in my lovely in box from Redlight District that they picked up the Dustin Diamond sex video and are releasing it on DVD on 11/6 as "Screeched". Now I can tell you, on the one or two times I found myself in front of a TV with Saved By The Bell on - I never, ever, ever, ever thought... "Hey wouldn't it be cool to see Screeched fuck someone and then rub shit on them". Didn't Dustin get the memo? A Dirty Sanchez is like a Rusty trombone - not something people enjoy watching you do. When oh when will we see a sex video from someone I'd actually like to watch...Ali Later... Elisha Cuthbert, heck even Keira Knightley.
Thorney is tickled pink that the X Critic Adult Forum got invaded by Hustler's new hottie Nikki Nine, and she IS a hottie. Props to the girl for going out there and interacting with her fans from day one. Too many porn stars hide away on industry clusterfuck forums (you know which ones I'm talking about) and only get the thoughts and feedback from the hardcore porn-o-philes. If the people who make adult films and the performers in them get the heck out there and talk to real people the end result will be better porn... and isn't that what we're all going for.
Soooo Digital Playground and Vivid recently had dualing announcements that they were going to be releasing porn on HD DVD or Blu-Ray. Hazzah, maybe this means companies like Metro who put "High Def Widescreen" across the top of their DVDs will actually have to get in the REAL HD game vs. calling a DVD High Def... So why aren't more porn companies following suite? Have you ever seen stretch marks, bad boob job scars or pounds of cake makeup in HD?? It's fucking scarey as all hell. HD is going to hit the porn industry where it hurts and force studios to raise the bar on what they consider 'talent'.
Finally this week Thorney caught glimps of the X Critic Head Honcho in the behind the scenes section of Girls Lie.. You think he got a visit from Dana DeArmond in Dana DeArmond Does The Internet! Guess we'll have to see. Well that's all from your resident prick - Chris Thorne out.
Week
Our look at one of the Master's of porn continued with Car Wash Angels 2:
Director's Final Cut: "Jim Holliday
made a lot of fluffy porn with his trademarked quirks though for years
his highlight was considered to be Car Wash Angels
1 by many fans and critics alike. The plot was disposable but the
plethora of pussy used to fill out (flesh out) the cast was amazing, and
it reminded people that the impossible could be done. Well, proving that
history could repeat itself, Jim went ahead and made Car Wash Angels 2:
Director's Final Cut nearly five years later, even using gals
under contract at other companies like Serenity to give him the special
touch. Joey Silvera wasn't present and this became one of the plot
points of the movie but it was squeaky clean fun for the fans. The cover
said it like this: "Four years ago Car Wash Angels shot out of the
cannon as the definitive Jim Holliday movie. It has since become one of
the largest sellers of the decade. Now it's time to return to the wacky
Burton Allen Institute for the sequel and find that Dr. Elvis T. Melble
and his trading card collection are missing. His long lost sons (Elvis
Jr. and Montgomery C. Melble) join in on the search, while the Car Wash
division goes mobile. What viewers will care more about are the 33 girls
and the 12 high impact sex scenes, guaranteed to give you double your
money's worth… Will Bobbi Bliss and Anita Cannibal both be able to deep
throat the monstrous Julian?? Watch the always hot Renee LaRue in her
first on-screen anal...and to top it all off, only the second and last
(with 99.999% certainty) "all three holes filled" scene Jill Kelly will
ever appear in - with Evan Stone, Julian and a surprise 3rd party. The
sequel to the classic will not disappoint true porn fans!!!"
Reviewer The
Mooninite caught our editor in chief checking out the babes on the
set of Vivid
Entertainment's Girls Lie, a
movie he truly enjoyed, writing: "The back of the packaging for this
latest release from Vivid Alt states that 'Girls lie.' More
specifically, Charlotte lies to get the money that she and her boyfriend
need to get high, Dana lies because she wants more than one boy can
give, Pixie lies because she played too much, and Riley lies to her
boyfriend about her supposed modeling career. That's the very simple
premise behind what is a slightly more complex porno movie than most are
likely used to. The film starts with the girls lying to their respective
partners for reasons detailed above. They're bullshit artists feeding
the gullible ones in their lives a line. The reality of the world is
that girls do lie (so do guys, in all fairness) and that guys usually
want to believe them, because let's face it, it's easier to accept it
than to try and outsmart the fairer sex. So we've got this odd little
premise, we see the girls lying, and that sets everything up. It's a
little odd, but it works and it fits. Naturally hot women, well shot and
well edited sex scenes, a great soundtrack, interesting locations and a
rather clever little way of tying it all up combine to make Girls Lie
one of the sexiest and more interesting porno titles to come out this
year. Vivid Alt's package looks and sounds really good and the extra
features are interesting and plentiful making this one completely worthy
of its highly recommended rating."
Sir Bust A Nut himself, Don Houston, also
found the release of Tina Tyler's Superwhores 7
to be load worthy, writing: "it shows a number of curvy white gals doing
studly black men, including the Dark Prince himself in some scenes. If
you like interracial sex, this was certainly a cute above the pack in
several ways, serving up a healthy dose of gonzo attitude with the kind
of cock hunger you only see from women that really mean it. Superwhores 7
by director Tina Tyler for Mercenary
Pictures had a lot going for it with a curvy cast of black cock
loving women skilled in the art of milking a nut showing the word that
they have what it takes to compete with the usual Barbie Girl types
usually focused on in porn. The technical values could've used a little
polishing up and a few of the ladies might have exhibited a bit more
passion and chemistry over pure mechanical riding ability but it was a
movie that most of you will likely find worthy of a rating of Highly
Recommended for fans of interracial gonzo.
Esteemed reviewer Namrufmot showed
his keen observational skills with a selection of semen oriented
suggestions next, We Yum Yum
Cum: "If you're a fan of Asian titles, this disc is sure to please.
Featuring some of the hottest girls in the business We Yum Yum Cum
provides plenty of intense action, and more importantly, a high replay
value. The only knock I can really find is the lack of quality extras.
Taking that into consideration, I still feel this DVD deserves a rating
of "Recommended", Cream Pie
Cuties: "falls somewhere in the middle of the pack. For the most
part the scenes are passionate, intense, and have a high replay factor.
A lack of extras, however, really hurts the overall rating", Semen Gobblers
3: "The strength of the DVD lies in the quality of the girls; not
only are they all very attractive but they know how to fuck on camera.
When you take into consideration the enjoyable sex, the solid technical
quality, and the good extra(s), you get a DVD that provides plenty of
"fuck for your buck". If you're in the market for a new gonzo title, I
suggest you consider picking up this title", and Cum Swallow:
"On one hand the scenes were all enjoyable, but they often felt like
they were missing that special "something". I'm not sure I'd recommend
paying full price for this title, but it might make a good blind buy if
you can find a deal on it.
Don Houston
then gave us a look at some hardcore smut with Gangbang Auditions
21: "by director Chico Wang for Diabolic will
be a delightful addition to the collection of anyone who appreciates the
three ladies. The technical matters weren't perfect, the nature of the
scenes didn't always allow for the best access of camera angles, and the
repetitiveness of the action might weigh in on your personal decision
about Gangbang Auditions 21 but in complete fairness to all
involved in making it, the movie was worth a rating of Highly
Recommended for being exactly what was advertised and providing some
heated fuck for the buck. The BTS feature was a lot longer, and more
interesting as an insider's look at the ladies than usual and whatever
else can be said about Chico's demeanor towards women; he delivers what
he says he will without artistic pretension or special effects that no
one but paid off media seem to enjoy."
Namrufmot then
found a trio of teen titles starting with Teen Cum Dumpsters
2: "Scene number two, by itself, makes this DVD worth picking up by.
When you then consider that you get five more scenes packed with sexy
young girls and intense crazy sex you have a DVD that is worthy of
purchasing", Barely Legal
63: "Considering they're up to the 63rd installment in the series,
you know Hustler is doing something right. My opinion of these DVD is
pretty much the same as all the Barely Legal titles I've reviewed â€"
solid action, adorable girls, passionate sex, and weak extras. The lack
of value hurts the overall rating a little bit, but most fans of the
teen genre will still find this release enjoyable", and Teen Dreams
13: "I can honestly say that this is the best one of the bunch. The
DVD is packed with attractive girls, crazy sex, solid extras, and
technical quality that you'd expect from a high-end studio. Whether
you're a collector of the series or just in the market for a new teen
DVD, definitely give this title consideration.
Don is one of
the leading skeptics of porn gimmicks and he doesn't buy into the whole
squirting phenomenon but he seemed to appreciate Elegant
Angel for their release of Swallow My Squirt
4: "by William H.
Nutsack for Elegant Angel
may have you writing emails telling me what an ignorant bastard I am to
fail to recognize squirting as the next Olympic sport but the specific
act aside, the levels of fuck for your buck, strokability, and replay
value were enough to rate this one as Recommended. If you believe
in the power of the squirt, simply add a point or two of value to my
rating and march on off to drink the Kool-Aid offered by the marketing
departments of porn companies everywhere but the ladies were largely
into what was going on and each other so Swallow My Squirt
4 managed to transcend the central action with some very heated
trios going at one another. Enjoy!
Reviewer Disco
Dirge found a couple of titles worth more than a look with The Game;
"Like some sort of surreal combination of The World Poker Tour and a
Gamera movie, this arcane Italian porno from Hustler is simultaneously
hot and hilarious. It tells a very simple story â€" Franco is a bad
gambler who gets in trouble with local Russian mob boss Omar. In order
to settle his debts, he has to find them another "chicken" to pluck,
someone with lots of money. Franco taps his best friend (and former
gambling buddy) Giorgio. While getting fleeced by the hoods, Omar's babe
Bombola falls for the mark. It's not long before the cops are called in
and everyone lives quasi-happily ever after. Couples will find nothing
offensive in this lavishly staged, if laughably presented, slice of
sensuality. As a result, a Cohabitation Certification is easily awarded.
If you're willing to give it a go, however, you'll be rewarded with some
interesting sex, and some sublimely silly voice work", and Artcore 4;
"earns a completely gratuitous rating of Recommended. The previous
installment reviewed by the Dirge earned an easy Rent It, since nothing
about Genoa's high minded filmmaking created the least bit of memorable
Eros. Here, the scenes are much better, though. Couples will clearly
balk at how the babes are treated, and as a result, it is impossible to
easily provide a Cohabitation Certification. You and your loved one will
have to decide whether this type of title fits your marital aides'
needs. Overall, there is enough here to entertain the average adult film
fan."
Combat
Zone also provided us with the delightful Home Wreckers
2 that reviewer Don Houston found: "Zak Wylde has
proven his skill with a camera now at several companies, so I was happy
to see that Combat Zone
picked him up for a trial run recently. His first title for the company
is Home Wreckers
2, picking up where Johnny Boston left off in Home Wreckers
1, again dispensing with any plot, acting, or attempts to make the
title seem related to the concept of the action. If you're looking for
gals new to porn, the batch here seemed to offer up a nice selection,
although the ladies were not all that actively fucking here; living up
to a newcomer theme more than a little bit in the process. The five
scenes included had one with anal and the others set straightforward in
terms of the pairings, so you'll probably enjoy it if your fetish is
related to new gals. In short then, Home Wreckers
2 was worthy of a rating of Recommended for those of you
into passive gals that looked quite fuckable with the quality levels
I've come to expect from the company.
DVDs
We'd love to read your comments and feedback on this column, Send us
your thoughts on other things you'd like to see in the space, or even
random thoughts about the world of porn. Drop us a line at [email protected].
The major contributors to The Blue Room this week were: Don Houston and
Chris Thorne