Jenna Haze: Dark Side, Reviews 101 and Adult Toy Tidal Wave

Spotlight Title: Jenna Haze: Dark
Side


The most notable highlight of the week was clearly Jenna Haze: Dark
Side. Reviewer Don Houston had
set aside a lot of time to take a look at the title, having been a big
supporter of director Jules Jordan
over the years, saying he "has been a force in gonzo porn for a long
time, starting from the humble beginnings of a working slob at a porn
distributor in the northeast part of the country and working his way up
the ranks by following his own beating drum. He recently left his
distribution deal with Evil Angel in
favor of grabbing a bigger share of the pie, though taking the added
risk as well, by beginning to distribute his own titles under Jules
Jordan Video. His very first title under this new arrangement is Jenna Haze: Dark
Side, putting Jenna Haze
through the showcase treatment that relaunched the sagging career of Gina Lynn a
couple of years ago. For those unfamiliar with Ms. Haze, she was once a
gloriously beloved (or perhaps belusted) gonzo princess that was well on
her way to being the biggest name in gonzo porn when she signed a
contract with Jill Kelly Productions to become a contract gal. Almost
overnight, she stopped doing men on camera and was soon forgotten as the
masses moved on to the next (and next and next after that) flavor of the
month as Jenna did lesbian scenes of dubious merit (most of the ones I
saw were a tremendous let down from her glory days). With the break up
of JKP, she was back on the market but still making what amounted to
shitty porn…that is…until now.

Jenna Haze: Dark
Side is a set of eight scenes that were all made for this
showcase piece without a filler in the pack. Granted, a few scenes
showed some rough edges by pushing Ms. Haze beyond her current limits
but she did anal, lesbian, interracial, and an oral blowbang as well as
some other fetish oriented scenes involving feet and light BDSM. Let me
say that if you were once a fan of the lady in her heyday, she is back
with a vengeance and while it may take her awhile to get back to her
best performance level of the past, like a champion prize fighter; she
had a lot to offer." Another interesting point made by Don was that the
movie was presented in a visually appealing 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen
color as originally shot in HD (high definition), looking better than
anything Jules has released in the past. Those familiar with Don's
critical eye might understand that this is an area all too often
overlooked by the professional critics and professional ass kissers as
he calls them who dismiss visual flaws as part of the gonzo process. Jenna Haze: Dark
Side proves Don's assessments over the years that Jules has been
capable of providing better looking porn, now doing so at his own
company, and the rating reflects it.

"Jenna Haze: Dark
Side was the near perfect fusion of Jules Jordan's
directing talents and the lovely Jenna Haze. He
provided almost four hours of footage in the main movie and the extras
added some value too, with reports of Easter Eggs bandied about on the
gossip websites. I liked this Jenna and Jules movie enough to give it a
rating of Highly Recommended based on the levels of fuck for the
buck, technical values, thematic appeal, and general heat, noting that
my few criticisms mentioned above should be taken with a grain of salt.
If you don't see the appeal of Ms. Haze or think Jules is overrated,
you'll still want to see what he came up with if you're into gonzo porn.
The front cover label of "This is the ultimate collector's item for fans
of Jenna Haze!" was pushing it a bit (now if it were wrapped in a pair
of her dripping wet panties, hand delivered for review with her on the
couch with me; I'd have to agree) but it's nice to see a gal in the
industry for years making a true comeback from what amounted to a career
killing contract. Both Jenna and Jules have tried to reinvent themselves
from time to time and their pasts definitely foretold their future."

---

Reviews 101: How To Get A
Good Rating

In past editions of The Blue Room, we've discussed different aspects of
reviews and given the volume of emails we've received from companies
(including scathing retorts as well as high praise), it seemed like a
good time to provide some general advice on how porn companies of all
sorts can obtain good reviews from the staff at X Critic. We don't make
it a secret that bribes of cash and sex, while appreciated, have no
impact on the ratings here though it that's your business model, we can
certainly hook you up with a few others in cyberspace. No, we rely on
our traditional method of providing helpful advice as stated in our
founding father's mission statement to become an: "online resource to
help people decide what to watch on DVD." In porn, some people get
wrapped up in specific ratings or numbers, forgetting that the body of a
review will often provide consumers with more than enough information to
make a purchasing decision. Here are a few pointers from reviewer Don Houston for
companies wanting to get a good rating:

We review a lot of porn and try to do so with an eye towards the
consumer's interests rather than looking out for the companies
themselves. Our mission has always been to serve the people and to
assist the companies with making better porn. This gives us the kind of
credibility few other websites have, even with those who might not agree
with our particular sentiments and conclusions. The most import thing we
look for is the kind of performances a movie provides. Everything else
is secondary to this crucial factor so we ask: are the performers are
having fun? Whatever they're into doing, from gonzo to features,
involves a certain amount of ability to perform like they're having a
good time at what they're doing. They could be smiling, they could be
lustfully going at one another or they could be passionately boning
away, but regardless of whether they are performing like actors or truly
into the acts, the level of fun is of utmost importance. A substantial
part of this to me is how active the gals are when slobbing some guy's
knob or getting penetrated. Far too many gals kick back and let the guy
do all the work; and there are examples of ladies meeting their partners
thrust for thrust in virtually every position so the cries of "that
can't be done in doggy" are going to meet deaf ears folks. We know the
primary motivation is for them to pick up a paycheck but they're selling
a fantasy and if they can't do so effectively, maybe they should find
something else they'd rather be doing. Sex is a learned skill and
there's no reason ladies should be clockwatching or passively letting
things happen to them with a grimace on their face when people are
shelling out hard earned dollars for their porn.

Okay, how the couples go at each other is the make it or break it point
of modern porn but there's also the entertainment factor to be
considered. In my case, I like seeing what's taking place and that means
proper lighting. No, I didn't go to film school and I'm not a wannabe
director like some reviewers out there so all the techno-babble
explanations aren't going to impress me that you knew what you were
doing when the picture looks crappy. That doesn't mean I like seeing
dark shadows on the genitalia bumping on my TV at home, giving me the
impression that the lighting guy was on a smoke break. With the advent
of DVD, lighting became very important because the format is
unforgiving; low lighting usually translates into grain and video noise,
both of which distract from the stroke value of a flick, no matter how
good the sex is. Lighting doesn't have to mean harsh, flat lighting but
unless there are specific reasons to deviate from this type of
presentation, stick to the basics (with the upcoming high definition
porn on the horizon, this will become even more of a factor too). Those
that suggest they are trying something new in the name of artistic
expression are usually just bullshitting the public since it has ALL
been done before and few of you are provided with enough time,
resources, and supporting staff to compete with Hollywood so don't try
to do so. For every Curse Eternal,
there are a hundred poorly shot (in a day) vignettes by the "next Brad
Armstrong" or "Robby D. copycat" who haven't mastered the basic,
typically under the delusion that they can fix it in editing (hint: you
can't so don't try).

In a related note, I admit to enjoying beating up on those directors
that come across like they were rejects from the MTV music video crowd.
What better way to kill all the heat, passion, and chemistry between
performers than to saddle them with tons of overdone effects, mistimed
edits, and sloppy camerawork? I can see where some of you think catering
to the online slavering fanboys with your "breaking styles" might be an
ego boost as they try to ingratiate themselves to you by saying how
fresh and great you are but it becomes all too clear that you've
forgotten the main idea behind porn is to create stroke value when you
try to incorporate all the new bells and whistles of your camera each
time you start rolling (hint: less is more). There are times when this
kind of thing can work but most of you can't do it consistently given
the timetables, low budgets, and other limitations of porn so stick to
what you know unless you're prepared to suffer the slings and arrows of
fans and (honest) reviewers alike.

Another factor to consider is the length of time a movie lasts. I've
watched some good porn that lasts slightly over an hour and then found
the ending credits popping up to my surprise. Unless you're going to
lower the price by a lot, you might want to remember that many companies
are offering two, three, and even four hour movies these days; all for
the same price. It might work for a very narrowly tailored niche fetish
release but the adage "more is less" is unrealistic given the
competitive market that exists around porn. That doesn't mean throwing a
lot of crap on a DVD will work; a tightly edited, incredibly performed
porno of any length is better than an inflated piece of crud but all
else being equal, length adds replay value and consumers like replay
value more than a little bit.

Lastly, the topic of extras comes up a lot since that was what
originally set DVD apart from VHS. Extras are the icing on the cake to
add value. People that buy porn these days often want more extras of
better quality. Are the extras full of wonderfully creative,
value-adding features and other fun things that people will watch and
enjoy that were specifically made for the movie in hand? Are the extras
part of a standardized package, complete with edited scenes and limited
stroke value that few people will find interesting? Are there no or
limited extras? None of us expect the level of extras found in Camp Cuddly
Pines, Canadian
Beaver, or Neu Wave
Hookers, but too many of you are releasing short movies with few
extras for the same price and it is impacting sales so spend a couple of
bucks giving the fans what they want and you might convert some renters
into buyers.

I'll end for now with the caveat that I'll address some of the common
misconceptions about how reviewers score titles in the near future. The
point of this article is to lay out all the cards on the table what
we've said in the past; not all porn is alike and the way to get the
highest reviews at X Critic is to produce the highest quality movies you
can. There are no secrets to this common sense approach and because we
keep the fans in the forefront of our thinking, everyone benefits. It is
understood that all of us have different tastes in who the hottest
flavor of the month is, who the superstar performers are, and what makes
for great porn but if you address these basics, you'll find that your
ratings reflect it time and again. We appreciate constructive criticism
and ask that you feel free to email us since each review has a link to
do so, just keep in mind that many of us have watched more porn than
most of those making it, and don't have a vested interest in the titles
one company releases over another.

---

Highlights of The
Week

Reviewer Don
Houston has not been a big fan of temperamental director David Stanley
in the past but even his critical eye picked up on the light-hearted
humor and raw sensuality offered up in Rendezvous,
the first Wicked Pictures release starring the lovely and talented
Carmen Hart, saying it "proved that director David Stanley
can excel at comedy porn far better than some of the edgier movies he
was known for a few years back. He may not be the next Jonathan Morgan
but I think he's found his niche at Wicked Pictures; providing the kind
of smaller, more intimate movies that sometimes showcase a star better
than the blockbusters Jonathan or Brad Armstrong win so many awards for.
In that sense, David has finally caught up to where he needs to be;
giving us internet reviewers a lot more material to work with than we
had when he was at Vivid. I can now consider myself as a newly minted
fan of Carmen Hart who led the flick in terms of raw sexuality to make
this movie one I thought was full of fuck for the buck, earning a rating
of Highly Recommended based as much on the ladies, the extras,
and heated scenes, as the technically appealing production values,
replay value and fun factor so often missing in modern porn."

Colonel
Mustard, one of our ace specialists, saw some good stuff too,
starting with
Big Mouthfuls
8; "The notorious bang brothers have rounded up seven little leading
ladies to show off their cum-guzzling prowess, while having their soft
folds pumped hard with man meat. There are six scenes on this DVD, all
shot point of view style with seven amateur women in bang brothers
style. This bang brothers release captures seven women, who all look
very 'attainable' to this reviewer and put them in situations that the
average Joe can only dream about. All scenes were shot point of view
style with heavy emphasis on the girls swallowing the loads presented to
them", Manuel Ferrara's
POV #2 "Red Light District always brings quality DVD gonzo
pornography to the table. In this second edition of Manual Ferrara's
Point of View, there are five hardcore anal scenes, all shot by the
extremely lucky Mr. Manual Ferrara. I've never been a giant fan of point
of view style pornography. Maybe it's because I'm more of a voyeur than
I'd like to admit. This DVD is about what you can expect from Red Light
District. Long, full of hardcore gonzo style ass fucking and girls
getting drenched in ball batter", Private Anal
Loads "This Private Xtreme, all-American, all Anal Limited Edition
DVD Pack is Private's attempt to gain market-share into the ever popular
gonzo Genre. This DVD set consists of four DVDs, roughly 2 hours each,
six scenes on each DVD. Skeeter Kerkove guides us through is world of
hardcore gonzo style pornography with both US and foreign born
actresses. Hold on! Skeeter Kerkove, according to his own biography is a
legend for gonzo film making. Although I can't personally vouch for his
track record, what I do know is that he put together and outstanding
four DVD collection. Every DVD had something different to offer. Even
though it was shot for Private, this box set is good old fashioned
American Gonzo pornography. Many of the scenes had excellent tease
footage leading into a complete rectal reaming. I would will Highly
Recommend this DVD box set. It is phenomenal fuck for the buck ratio,
includes many different women in different types of gonzo porno
situations."

Cum Beggars 4
was "a series of scenes where the talented cast had great sex after the
ladies teased in true gonzo fashion. Danny's work as Pat Myne has long
been liked by those reviewing porn but behind the camera he seems to
instill a sense of anticipation that adds fuel to the fire, making good
scenes better and great scenes come off as awesome. Cum Beggars 4
was right on the line for me in regards to ratings because I loved the
tease footage, appreciated how talented the cast was (not to mention how
great looking), and how much fuck for the buck the DVD offered up fans
yet the length wasn't quite as value oriented as many companies are
providing and some of the technical matters had rough edges. Still, in
fairness to all involved, I thought the rating of Highly Recommended was
warranted for the big picture aspects of the show. That said, Pat,
Danny, or whatever else he wants to call himself these days, has proven
to be well worth following given the skill he has of picking the ladies
to work with and getting the most out of them in their scenes. Good
job!"

While reviewer Rob Randell was
on a sabbatical recently, he too found some sweet titles to enjoy, two
featuring his particular field of expertise and another coming in a
close second on his scale of porn to enjoy. In Big Tit Anal
Whores 3, he suggested "This DVD had 5 big breasted hotties and
seeing them get into action was more than enough excitement. If you are
like me and enjoy seeing attractive busty babes in action, then this DVD
is for you. It has great one on one action with lots of anal sex and
bouncing boobies" while in Hustler's Asian
Fever 28, he acknowledged that "The girls were all easy on the eyes
and their sexual performances were very exciting. I enjoyed the rough,
yet clean and straightforward approach each scene took. It made the
action exciting and something I plan on watching many times over. Fan or
not of hot Asian babes, Asian Fever 28 has more than enough hot
action to keep you coming back for more", closing out with Fifth
Element's Love That Asian
Ass, saying it was "a gonzo release that takes an all Asian female
cast and puts them into some heated anal sex scenes. The girls are all
good looking and the sex is pretty hot. If you enjoy seeing cute Asian
babes in action, then Love That Asian Ass should be right for
you."

Don then
regaled us with his look at Elegant Angel's search for a replacement
squirt queen in Supersquirt 3,
where he said: "I'm not a believer in the stuff but I know that it makes
for great theatrical fantasy and the company has been blessed by the
lovely Tiana Lynn as their super weapon in this regard until recently.
Sadly, this fine young hotty has decided to retire from performing,
leaving a squirting gap for Elegant Angel to fill, lest they lose much
of their market share. Supersquirt 3 named Annie Cruz as the next
in line of succession to the throne, an interesting move considering the
quality of various sex acts by the others. She's a talented gal but some
of the others have other qualities that would be easier to promote to a
larger audience so I look forward to seeing what she'll do when given
what amounts to her big shot. As far as the movie itself, there was a
lot of fuck for the buck, squirt for the buck, and one of the best
extras package I've ever seen from Elegant Angel (the best in fact) so
for fans of squirting, I think the DVD warranted a rating of Highly
Recommended (even a non-believer like me saw plenty to enjoy
repeatedly here). Elegant Angel
is the undisputed leader of the squirting niche and this title backs up
that claim yet again.

Reviewer Goldenmuse was
able to provide a blast from the past by dipping into the Playgirl Posse
vault and reminding us of a time when Rocco Siffredi
wasn't trying to push the limits of gonzo and Chasey Lain was
at her peak performing powers with her look at Chasey Loves
Rocco; "Truly a legend in the world of adult films, Rocco Siffredi
is one of the few actors renowned equally for over-the-top gonzo films
and elegantly erotic features. The film also boasts classy costumes and
sets, as well as a touch of humor. Plus we see a "bored housewife meets
hunky pool boy" scene (a prerequisite for any decent chick porno), and a
scene in which an actress turns the tables on a playboy director --
'directing' his every move in their office fling. Beyond being a quality
adult feature, Chasey Loves Rocco is a good movie.

About Face POV
3; "had a lot of fuck for the buck, all the advertised action
handled in POV fashion, and some okay extras to add value. There were
some minor rough spots like missing extras and some gals that were more
mechanical than erotic but the replay value and overall quality of show
warranted the DVD getting a rating of Recommended or better depending on
your level of interest in the cast. The POV antics he offered up
provided enough diversity of setting, situation, and ladies to keep the
material fresh for a longer period of time, marking this as a title
almost worthy of the next highest rating. Check it out and you'll see
what I mean" and Robby D.'s Jack's POV #2,
where it "seemed a step up from Jack's POV 1
in terms of technical values and the ladies were all doing a bang up job
in the show. A few weren't quite ready for the level of performance
needed but four out of five of the scenes had significant replay value
for me and a level of fuck for the buck that most POV releases simply
don't offer. As such, I rated this one as Recommended, and think
many of you that are fans of the ladies in the cast will likely think it
worth even more (it came seriously close to the next level for me and I
only truly slaver over one of the gals here). In short, Jack's POV
2 was the kind of POV porn that most fans wish all the companies
made for the level of technical expertise and sexual skill shown
throughout the scenes. Jack keeps getting better all the time and the
fans seem to appreciate the kind of care he uses in making titles such
as this one. Look for it next month as you'll be getting a lot of replay
from some of the scenes.

Then reviewer The Mooninite,
saw fit to tell us a tale of ten tits with Boob Squad 9,
saying: "Who likes big boobs? Everyone does! At least everyone in his or
her right mind. And so do the Bang Bros., made obvious by this ninth
entry in their Boob Squad series in which they track down hot,
natural woman to play with their willies in front of a video camera.
It's a nice gig if you can get it. While the formula doesn't change much
from scene to scene, there's a nice variety in the girls chosen for this
release and three of the women here are truly sexy (the other two aren't
bad; they're just not on the same level). Production values are so-so
but the content is good and big tit fans should consider Boob Squad
9 recommended."

Don then told
us that Stick It! 3
served as proof that Metro Interactive still had some fun titles and:
"I've been acquainted with Skeeter
Kerkove for years now due to his once possessive manner of defending
his now ex-wife Bridgette from anyone who suggested she wasn't the top
female performer in the industry. While I've only seen him in passing in
real life (at trade shows), he strikes me as a man passionate about
whatever he believes in rather than simply being out to make a buck.
This is one of the qualities that sets him apart from most of his peers
in the field of directing porn. His latest DVD release is Metro's
Stick It! 3, a series of anal flavored scenes shot back in 2004
before his disputes with the company (over his ex-wife). Like the
wonderfully decadent Stick It! 2 and Stick It! 1,
the title was all about anal gonzo sex with a talented line up of ladies
well suited for the action. Stick It! 3 is a nice tribute to the
style of Skeeter
Kerkove from his earlier directing years in the industry. There were
numerous technical flaws but the end result was never such that the
heated performances by a wonderfully diverse (and perverse) cast were
dampened to the point where they couldn't be repeatedly enjoyed by fans.
I came close to suggesting it even higher but a Recommended seems
fitting given the levels of fuck for the buck taking place in the show
and the quality of material. The sheer length of the movie should be
enough to convince many of you it was worth a look but the quality was
present too.

Our reviewers have all had wonderful things to say about the The
Private Life Series in the past since the double disc sets have
provided superior stroke value at low cost so it came as no surprise to
us that reviewer Vince Green
enjoyed the latest release in the series; The Private Life
of Claudia Jamsson, starring the gorgeous lady in a number of
scenes. "I've always been a big fan of Private films, this I'll not
deny. One of the main reasons I enjoy their productions is that they
constantly employ some of the most beautiful women working in the adult
industry. Claudia Jamsson is easily one of the most stunning women I've
seen in porn. Regardless if she has blonde, black or blue hair, Claudia
always looks amazing. Her sleek, slender frame blessed with perky tits
and a tight ass looks like it belongs on a supermodel. But, instead of
watching her strut down a runway, we get to see her giving blowjobs and
having her ass pounded proudly. Now that's something I can get behind,
literally and figuratively. Most if not all of the scenes are excellent
and show off Claudia's talent and beauty. Even if you've never seen
Claudia Jamsson's work before, I'm sure you'll be a fan after watching
this DVD."

Don then
suggested that I Love Gina
was "of great value", pointing out that Exquisite
Multimedia is currently the home of numerous releases by the lovely
contract superstar Gina Lynn. As
such, they have most of the footage of any replay value these days and
this is no small matter given the number of mainstream projects the lady
has been in over the years. I've never been a fan of her implants but I
recall vividly how fans treated her when she danced in Houston and the
lines of fans she had at the 2006 AEE Show
reiterated her popularity (even on the days when only the industry
insiders were present). Her latest release is I Love Gina, a
collection of scenes that included three lengthy ones starring her in
them plus another of great value to me. I Love Gina will
certainly be a must have for fans of Gina Lynn
though she wasn't the only gal worth attention in the movie. The levels
of fuck for the buck and corresponding technical qualities were a
decided improvement too, making me think it was easily worth a rating of
Recommended (or better for big fans of the cast). I haven't seen
many of Gina's recent titles to know if they are all as solid as this
one but I do know she and Travis were in fine form here with only one
dud scene in the bunch. Check it out and you'll see what I mean when I
say that Exquisite
Multimedia has a winner on its hands.

Then Mistress
Liss saw fit to tell us about a trio of tantalizing tales with,
Forbidden
Fantasies; "The title of this movie says it all. Everyone fantasizes
about someone that they will never be able to be with for one reason or
another. This movie peers into some fantasies that should indeed be
forbidden. Ya know what they say…the forbidden fruit always is the most
delicious. I think Skye did a great job in making a movie about our
deepest fantasies. Let's face it; we all would love to be in the
situations that are portrayed in this film. Ok…and I admit it; I have a
hardcore lust for Nick Manning so seeing him in this movie was the icing
on the cake for me. (**drool**) I highly recommend this one for all the
ladies out there and for the guys too", Hard Time
"Viva Las Vegas Baby!!! A radio DJ reads some of his listener's darkest
fantasies as they come to life in the movie. Vegas is a magical place
where people can dream big, as well as hope to win big, and I don't
always mean in money. This is why they say "What happens in Vegas…Stays
in Vegas". I think we all have fantasies, and if it takes calling in to
KSEX to talk to Wankus, or to hop on the next flight to Vegas than so be
it. I recommend this one for all you naughty guys and gals, whether you
go to Vegas or not", and finishes up with a compilation called Blondes Behaving
Badly: "The title says it all. Blonde babes who are up to no good
with clips from many different Vivid films. If you're looking for the
best of the Blonde Bombshells, than this is the movie for you! Don't be
fooled into thinking that's all that's in this movie. I loved the scene
where Bobby is eating Jenna's pussy. You go Bobby! I loved getting that
"blast from the past" feeling with some of the 80's scenes. While there
aren't many extras on this DVD, the four hours of action make up for
it."

Don also
liked a trio of releases such as Boobstravaganza!;
"it did provide a lot more action for the buck then the typical release
on the market. I know that some people "don't get it" when it comes to
consumers wanting MORE material for their money but let's face it; in
today's competitive marketplace, four hours or more of scenes is better
than 90 minutes unless there's something darned special about the
shorter flick. If you like seeing large titties (natural or implants),
Boobstravaganza! is surely worth a rating of Recommended
given the quality of the cast, the style of the action, and the overall
package it had to offer consumers on a limited budget. Mark this as
another decent compilation for the company as a reward to loyal fans", Rocco's More Sluts
in Ibiza: "a return to some of his most solid work of the last year
where shows like Rocco Ravishes
Ibiza 2, really caught my eye. It showed Rocco Siffredi
coming back to the proven material that made him a winner as a director;
using playful tease along with all the usual sex tricks to get the
audience off repeatedly", and Lick Her Ass Off
My Dick; "Martin Del
Toro is one of the most recent additions to the Red Light
District directorial roster of late. His style has been honed over
work at numerous companies and this latest change will likely allow him
to continue his mad dash towards gonzo superstardom with Lick Her Ass
Off My Dick being the first of his works there for me to appreciate.
I'm not a fan of ass to mouth (ATM) or ass to other girl's mouth (ATOGM)
but can readily appreciate a company that provides exactly what is
advertised on the cover. Well, if you're into circus act sex, you'll
like this one too as the 372nd release from the company shows that
Martin is going to fit right in with the current bunch of perverts
working there. The casting was exceptionally perfect and it was a very
heated release for most of the scenes with director Martin Del
Toro showing he can indeed hang with the big boys of gonzo porn. In
a world full of false advertising (or at least misleading advertising),
it's nice to see a company and director go out of their way to give fans
what they want. Granted, plenty of you will consider that the movie
jumped the gonzo shark but the technical values, selection of ladies,
and quality fuck for the buck were all in solid form here, earning a
rating of Recommended or better depending on what you like to
see. I sense Martin will be making a lot of perverts happy as a director
for Red Light District if this title was an example of what he'll be
bringing to fans in the near future so keep an eye out for his follow
ups."

Even reviewer Michael Vega
found a few titles to enjoy this week too with,
Virtual Daisy:
"I wasn't expecting much from Virtual Daisy. And while Latinas are
generally my "weakness", Daisy isn't my type. She is cute and most
definitely sexy, but I prefer 'em thick and juicy. Having said that,
both this disc and Daisy blew me away. All of the action on this disc
was tremendously hot and sexy. From the masturbation to the fucking,
Daisy was oozing sex appeal. Hell, she had me getting off on positions
that I usually can't stand for Pete's sake!", My Sister's Hot
Friend 3: "was a pretty descriptive title since the majority of the
ladies on this disc were pretty damn hot and did their best to generate
as much (non-Latina) heat as possible. Though the final scene wasn't as
hot as the previous four, I'm more than comfortable with slapping a
Highly Recommended rating on this flick. I just wish Naughty America
would find a way to throw us a bone as far as extras are concerned", and
a Carmen Luvana
compilation from scenes by Digital Sin with I Love Carmen
2: "This Recommended disc is the second collection of scenes from
the lovely Puerto Rican Carmen Luvana. For fans of hot blooded Latinas,
Carmen is definitely one of the hottest and this disc cuts through all
the bullshit "storylines" and gets straight to the fucking. And there's
enough of it on this disc to keep you busy for quite a while."

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Adult Toy Reviews: The
Tidal Wave Begins

Okay folks, you asked for it and we rounded up the reviewers to give you
the low down on a huge shipment of sex toys we got in recently. We'll
have more in the future but the wave you've been hearing about is
finally here with a selection of the finest novelties you can buy for
your hard earned money. Not all of the toys passed the all important bed
testing we gave them but there was something for everyone and keep in
mind that a toy that doesn't work for one person, might be just what Doc
Johnson ordered for another. Without further ado, here's where the toys
hit the (wet) spot:

Veteran porn reviewer Mistress Liss
has long been accepted as a horned up hotty for her torrid reviews of
smut but she also enjoys the wonderful way her body responds to a little
extra stimulation. We sent her three toys to put through the paces and
here's what she had to say:
Having noticed reviewer Don Houston's
fascination with Jesse Jane,
Liss first applied her rigorous testing process to the Jesse
Jane's Jelly G vibrator, saying: "The top is hooked just enough to
provide excellent stimulation of the G-spot and easily passed the
"Mistress Liss 5 Minute Rule Test". For those of you unfamiliar with my
tests, if I can't have at least one orgasm with a toy in five minutes,
then it gets a failing score. So all-in-all, if you don't care about the
"glow in the dark" issue, this is an ok product if you're just looking
for a vibe without a clit stimulator." Once warmed up, she then turned
her attention to the Jesse
Jane Purple Passion vibrator, saying: "This toy succeeded in my
personal "five minute" rule which means that if it doesn't give me at
least one orgasm in five minutes then I throw it away. (It's great to be
a sex toy critic!) I highly recommend this one for all the ladies",
making her two for two in the "I'm leaving a puddle here" commentary she
was providing for the benefit of mankind (or at least those of you
checking out the latest edition of The Blue Room). She
then took a few days off to rest for her run with the The Madam Butterfly 2 by pointing out: "If you're
looking for a "powerhouse" type toy, this isn't going to be it. Even
while at its highest speed, while it feels fantastic; the butterfly is
not enough to bring an instant orgasm (to me anyway). However, what I
love about this toy is that while the woman is using it, a partner can
easily get behind a woman for some back door action. I also like the
pillow it comes with, it gives that "Sybian" look. I did try it in water
and it is waterproof just like Doc says. All in all, I think you'll
certainly get your money's worth out of this toy and it has my stamp of
orgasmic approval."

Reviewer Mickey
Lee got in on the Jesse Jane
bandwagon with a look at the Jesse
Jane Dual Stimulator by giving her partner a free bedroom show,
suggesting: "Turns out my partner was impressed with it as well. He was
watching the whole time and loved the show! I'm am very happy to add
Jesse's Dual Stimulator to my collection it is no doubt a product that
will be put to good use throughout the years."

Buzz Buhrmann is arguably the most appropriately named novelty reviewer
and he also tackled a trio of toy types to tickle your fanny…I mean
fancy, starting with a very positive experience with a couple of high
end dildos in Tex
and Bandit, saying: "Vixen Creations sent along two of their popular
models - the modest sized Tex (which is 5 inches with an almost 2 inch
girth) and the more 'impressive' Bandit (which is 7 inches with a
slimmer 1 5/8 inch girth). If your partner even has the most remote
fantasy of another cock in bed (and trust me odds are she does) there
isn't a better choice than the Bandit. The Tex is perfectly sized for
anal play. With a flared base that easily fits almost any harness Tex is
the perfect choice when you want realistic anal play", before moving on
to a great vibrations toy called The
Worm as it wormed its way into his treasure chest of toys,
describing the experience thusly: "The bed test for the Worm Vibe was a
rousing success. My partner had a strong and swift orgasm with the Worm
Vibe and remarked on how well the controls were designed and how
smoothly and easily the vibe could increase it intensity. I'm a big fan
of high quality and well made adult toys and Fun Factory has absolutely
gotten themselves on my radar screen with the Worm Vibe. Toys of this
caliber at this price should raise the bar for the industry and are an
absolute must buy as part of any couples toy collection" but then felt a
bit put off with the Men's
Pleasure Wand that might have been due to inexperience or simply
faulty toy design, saying: "When I first saw the Vivid Men's Pleasure
Wand I have to admit I was pretty excited. I defy anyone to figure out a
position where this damn thing actually feels anything but painfully
uncomfortable. Another huge downside is the vibration part of the toy.
It has four levels of vibration, but I found that even the highest level
wasn't strong enough to really make a huge impact."

We then let seasoned reviewer Michael Vega
close out the passionate playfulness with his look at the Jesse
Jane Deep Throat Masturbator where Vega 115 "Well, in the interest
of trying new things, and since the opportunity presented itself, I
decided there's no time like the present. And who better to lose your
virginity to than Jesse Jane and
her deep throat? Initially, I thought Jesse didn't like me since I had
trouble wrapping her lips around me and sliding me down her throat.
While you wouldn't confuse me with a male midget porn actor, I'm not
nearly as big as someone like Mandingo or John Holmes, so I couldn't
understand why it was difficult to get things started. So you wanna be
like that, Jesse? I got a better grip and continued trying to stuff my
dick down her throat. This went on for quite sometime and, while there
was some slight stimulation, it was very slight and nowhere near enough
to get me to climax. In the end, I pulled it off and finished the job
the old fashioned way and regretted somewhat losing my virginity to Jesse Jane."

Be sure to read more of our adult
toy reviews at AdultToyTalk.com.

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Upcoming Notable
DVDs

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We'd love to read your comments and feedback on this column, Send us
your thoughts on other things you'd like to see in the space, or even
random thoughts about the world of porn. Drop us a line at [email protected].

The major contributors to The Blue Room this week were: Don Houston, Mistress Liss,
Michael Vega
and Christopher
Thorne.