Femdom: Pleasure, Pain, Punishment

Dear reader, sex is more than penetration and ejaculation. Exploring kinks like Femdom can open a world of possibilities for pleasure and intimacy. There is something very sexy and exciting about doing something taboo, like changing traditional gender roles.

Source: https://mistressezada.com/the-importance-of-rituals-in-femdom/

There aren’t many things I can say that I have always wanted to do but still haven’t.

-Skydiving: done

-Scuba diving with sharks: done

-Traveling the world: done

-Wearing a latex bodysuit, boots, and whipping my lover into submission: pending

Femdom is short for female domination. But in honor of inclusivity, New York City-based dominatrix Empress Wu says the term “indicates that there is a feme-presenting dominant in the kink scene.” Goddess Nyx says:

“A lot of people who hear ‘femdom’ think of the heavy rubber Mistress holding a whip and dragging crawling men around on leashes (which is absolutely fun, don’t get me wrong), but it can also be a Goddess in her robe, surrounded by devoted supplicants who bring her food and rub her feet. And then 100 things beyond that. Femdom simply puts women in a position of power and establishes a space for people to worship and lift them up.”

Theoretically, femdom is about “the female pursuing sexual power and male humiliation and bondage for her own fulfillment.” That means that even though it is common for men to want to submit to a mistress or dominatrix (trust me, more than you think), femdom is not about what men desire. This might sound strange considering the number of services available that cater to men who want to worship and submit. But female domination, in theory, is about female desire.

As a lesbian, I respect the entire spectrum of gender identity and sexual orientation. I’m saying this because I understand that grammar isn’t always inclusive, and I don’t want to contribute to an exclusive discourse. I am referring to females and men in this article because that is the technical definition of the fetish. I don’t want to make it unnecessarily complicated or hard to read. However, please know that anyone can play these roles. Usually, my wife likes to be the dominant partner, so, in our case, she holds the male “traditional gender role.” Please don’t be offended or feel excluded. Just think about whether you are more frequently dominant or submissive and try to play the other role.

Kink Lovers describes 7 types of Femdom:

1. Gentle Femdom is about female sexual authority without inflicting pain. Its goal is pleasure instead of pain and punishment. This might be the first step for vanilla sex lovers and beginners. In gentle femdom:

“There may be humiliation or punishment, but it will be milder and more nurturing. The spanking would be milder and involve snuggling after. Gentle femdom is anything from woman-on-top sex to role-playing with her as mommy, teacher, or nurse.”

2. Femdom Mommy is about age play (with consent), and the submissive is called a “Little.” The femdom mommy is “nurturing, powerful, and loving.” Just don’t forget that mommy knows best and expects obedience.
3. Chastity Femdom is when the femdom has total domination and control over when he can experience pleasure and have sexual contact. According to experts in the kink, chastity devices that need a lock and key or hand restraints are the most common ways to play. This is wild to me, but it’s also exhilarating to think about. I can visualize myself tied up waiting for permission to touch just as easily as I can see myself making a lover beg to be touched. YUMMY
4. BDSM Femdom is: “Bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism involve many kinds of expression but commonly include whips, handcuffs, obedience, leather, latex, pain, and humiliation.”
5. Cuckold Femdom is an integration of several kinks and can be as extreme and hardcore as you want. The fantasy is sexual humiliation by your partner or lover whom you can’t satisfy sexually, but other men (or bulls) can. In the femdom kink, cuckolding means that “she sleeps with whomever she pleases and places her satisfaction as a priority, humiliating her submissive for his shortcomings, whether or not cuckolding is specifically his fantasy.”
6. Humiliation Femdom can be psychological, physical, or a combination of both. For example, telling him that he is unworthy, that his dick is the smallest you’ve ever seen, or both. Sissification or feminization is when a male sub is forced (consensually) to wear female clothing.
7. Financial Femdom (Findom) is about financial domination, which means a woman controls and dominates her submissive financially. It can range from a tip or single donation from the submissive to the femdom having complete control over a sub’s financial decisions and all his money. Financial femdom is non-sexual, and in many relationships, people never even meet in person. Findom is:

“a form of BDSM where he is a willing slave but does not receive sexual favors in return. He is a money slave, a cash piggy, a human ATM, or a pay pig. She is the cash master or the money mistress. Findom comes from the belief on the part of at least the sub and often both sub and domme that men are inferior. She should be indulged in every luxury, and he should give away all of his earnings above subsistence for her superiority.”

What happens when we can let go of what we think sex should be? Would you be able to surrender all control and enjoy being punished? If your answer is a solid no, this probably isn’t the kink for you. But if you hesitated, maybe gentle femdom could be the theme of your next date night. I always aim to provide inspiration that can elevate your sex life. If you are into femdom porn, there are many fantasies and games you can explore with a partner to figure out what works for both of you. If leashes, handcuffs, and bank accounts are on the menu, which would you try first: gentle femdom, humiliation, punishment, bondage, or torture?