Top Ancient Kinks to Explore on Date Night

When it comes to kinky date nights, we are still SO behind our ancient cultures! They didn’t even have a word we could translate to kink or fetish because our taboo was their vanilla.

Sexual practices like dominance, submission, wife sharing, worshipping, biting, spanking, edging, and threesomes were taught and considered standard before sexuality devolved, and these sexy kinks became taboo. Fortunately, we weren’t born in the Dark Ages. We live in a dark-ish post-pandemic society where most of these kinks are no longer unduly taboo. However, it is safe to say that we have a long way to go because most of our sex lives are not as kinky as they could be. We all need more kinky date nights.

Don’t worry, though, dear reader. I’m here for you, and I am going to give you another top list of kinks to explore on your next date night. Check out the Top Japanese Kinks for Your Next Date Night if you still haven’t, and let the fun begin.

We ALL need fun because these past three years have been chaotic, stressful, scary, and seemingly never-ending. Since the COVID-19 pandemic started, researchers worldwide have studied the changes couples and families underwent due to illness, loss, confinement, and fear. I talked to a family therapist who has been researching the effects these changes have had on sexual self-esteem and couple satisfaction since 2019. She explained that our sex lives are just a part of the whole; just one aspect of who we are and what we experience.  Sometimes, our sex lives suffer because of what is going on in our lives and in the world. And A LOT of shit has happened, so it’s reasonable to crave a change, need some fun, and want a kinky date night.

Sexual self-esteem is:

“…feeling capable of being involved in sexual practices with successful procedures and results.”

Couple satisfaction is:

“…the attitude an individual has toward his or her couple relationship.”

According to Dr. Torres-Cruz, many single people and couples who lived with their families experienced decreased sexual self-esteem during confinement and social distancing. For single people, being unable to go out to interact with new people and have new sexual experiences was frustrating and may have led to feelings of insecurity and depression. Many couples that lived through confinement and social isolation with children or other family members suddenly found themselves with less privacy and time to dedicate to the relationship. (That means less time to fuck!) This may have also resulted in a decrease in sexual self-esteem and couple satisfaction.

Knowing where we come from is important when deciding where to go. We’ve all had our share of trauma and losses since the pandemic started, but life is almost back to normal. We’re coming from a darker-than-usual place, so we must keep that in mind and use it to our advantage. That doesn’t mean that our sex lives have to go back to where they were in 2018 (unless it was a good year, and we want to). We can re-imagine our sex lives. Whether you’re single, looking to open (or re-open) your relationship, or just spice things up with your lover, here are my top 2 ancient kinks to explore with consent on date night.

1. Ritual flagellation for beginners (AKA spanking):

“Spanking, as part of sexual play, occurs when a person slaps a sex partner with an open hand or an object to heighten sexual arousal for one or both parties. Spanking is usually enjoyed by those who find sexual pleasure in pain. It can be done during foreplay or intercourse.”

Honestly, I never thought this was something I could enjoy until a girl I was dating slapped my face mid-orgasm. I still smile and get this feeling in between my legs, just remembering that moment. And I remember every single detail. Most people have a strong association between pain with pleasure. One is impossible without the other. I don’t see myself bending over my lover’s lap to get spanked, so I would not recommend over-the-knee spanking for beginners. But I suggest you try an open-hand gentle slap to your lover’s face next time you make them cum. Just look deep into their eyes and slap softly. Ask your partner how it felt and go harder or try the next kink.

2. Edging:

“Edging is the practice of engaging in sexual stimulation to the point of ejaculation before stopping and starting again. It involves cycles of stimulation that can lead some people to a more intense orgasm.”

Edging is not just fun, exciting, and intense as fuck for your partner; it also provides the person doing it opportunities to explore, experiment, learn, and build confidence. I LOVE edging my wife. It feels like an extreme form of flirting and gives me a sense of control that I don’t always enjoy in sex. She will orgasm when I decide it’s time because I am in control. But it’s not about dominance. It’s about teasing and a fantastic, kinky date night.

You can start with foreplay and go as far as you like as long as you stop stimulating your partner right before they cum. Then you start all over again. If your partner doesn’t have multiple orgasms, this is a great way to help them experience the full spectrum and cycle of pleasure and intensify their orgasms.

Fun fact, studies show that edging is a valuable tool for women who struggle to achieve orgasms during sex because you can learn how to stimulate, change positions, speed or intensity in a way that facilitates orgasms. And it’s also a training mechanism for men and women who experience premature ejaculation because it can increase the duration of sex during orgasm.

After learning about the Perverted Sexual Fetishes of The Ancient World, I decided to think about my sexuality differently and learn to worship my body and vagina. I’m not suggesting you put yourself on a pedestal, however! Just realize that you can’t expect a partner to make you feel good about sex. Sometimes we’re not feeling great about our bodies, or we’re not in a good place emotionally, which is going to reflect in our fucking. Don’t think about it too much. Before your next date night, make some time for yourself. Eat and drink something delicious, wear something that makes you feel sexy (or nothing at all), get comfortable, and enjoy yourself. Then be brave, schedule the kinky date, and remember that people have been spanking, slapping, and edging their lovers since ancient times. Nothing is sexier than confidence.