A Beginners Guide To Sex Toys

Source: https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/funny-sex-memes/

“That little, tiny thing is your vibrator?!” said my 83-year-old grandmother when she “accidentally” found what my mom calls her “travel size” vibrator.

I haven’t lived with them since I was 18 and haven’t even lived in Puerto Rico for six years, but that day, I was there. I must be very lucky or have very good karma because that’s a story I’ll tell for the rest of my life.

It was a hot, humid day in Puerto Rico, as they all are. I was looking through binders and books from school and college, figuring out what to throw out and what to donate. Is Psychology 101 from 10 years ago still useful?

That’s what was on my mind when my grandmother opened a drawer, pulled out something that looked like, but clearly wasn’t, a lipstick, and asked my mom what it was. My mom starts blushing and says, “we’ve always been a sex-positive household, and it’s a travel-size vibrator, but it’s none of your business.”

I felt embarrassed for her. It’s one thing to know someone uses sex toys and another for your elderly grandmother to find it and start waving it around asking questions.

“That little, tiny thing is your vibrator?!” My mom and I look at each other… Wait, what? What is SHE using?! Does SHE have sex toys?! She hasn’t had a driver’s license in a decade… has she been using the same one since then?

I had more questions than answers, so I started following grandma around, insisting she at least tells me if she was not going to show me. Knowing I wasn’t going to let that one go, she ran to her bedroom, grabbed something from her underwear drawer that, to me, looked like a prosthetic arm, and threw it to the top shelf in her closet… I was so shocked that I never asked again and will never go looking for it again.

I suppose it must be a historical sex toy that belongs in a museum, but there are so many toys and accessories available today that we need guides to find what fits our needs. I’ll do my very best to find the best solo toys and toys for couples, but I have unfortunately not personally tried some of these. So, if anyone is looking for a new toy tester, I volunteer.

Even though I’m not a therapist, I’m a Psychologist. That’s why I feel comfortable saying that using sex toys is about much more than pleasure and instant gratification. We all know there are little things we can do to stay healthy and confident, and I strongly encourage everyone to take care and love themselves. But, besides a healthy lifestyle, boundaries, and positive affirmations, your sexuality can improve the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships.

People must understand that they shouldn’t feel intimidated or offended if their partner wants to bring sex toys into their relationship.

I can’t relate, but I have friends and have met many people who are overwhelmed with the idea. Whether it’s a man who feels insulted at the thought of complimenting his dick with a vibrator or a woman who feels confused because her male partner wants her to get a strap-on, your feelings are normal yet restrictive. Imagine this, you’ve been eating something you call a “cheeseburger,” but you’ve only ever tried the beef patty.

And let me tell you, it’s time you get a taste of some prime toppings. And don’t be cheap! Consider this an investment in your well-being and get something that is top-quality and that you’ll be able to use for years.

Without a doubt, the best vibrator for beginners would be a G-spot vibrator. I would not recommend you invest in a vibrator that doesn’t have both G-spot and clitoral stimulators. Still, the sensation might be overwhelming if you (or your partner) have a very sensitive clitoris.

If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation, I have two “no-brainer” recommendations for you to consider. You need something like the Magic Wand or, my wife’s favorite, a clit sucker. It’s a little device that comes in all shapes and sizes and creates suction (you can play with rhythm and intensity) around the clit. Oral sex simulators are similar but use air pulses to mimic the sensation.

For men craving a different sensation than their hands can provide, a stroker is an obvious choice. They come in all shapes and sizes, and there are so many designs that websites have guides and illustrations to help you find what’s best for you.

There are also innumerable prostate massagers that you can invest in. The higher-end models can be pricey, but the design is genius. They have remote controls for you to manipulate the tilt and vibration.

I must say that the “for couples” category is very subjective because any of the toys I’ve mentioned can be used by yourself, with one or any number of partners you have.

A C-shaped vibrator is meant to be worn during intercourse. It looks like a C, and one part is inserted into the vagina or anus while the other “clips” outside. The man inserts his penis alongside the vibrator giving both partners intense toe-curling orgasms.

Cock rings are an excellent idea for couples tipping their toes in the sex toy pool. They come in different textures, some vibrate, and high-end options can be used around the cock or inserted and used as a vibrator. There are so many other options that can be very cheap if you want to try something new.

For gay and lesbian couples, strap-ons are, in my opinion, a must. The power dynamic and gender play is something you should definitely explore when you feel comfortable. There are more harnesses and toys than you can imagine, so do your homework and try to find a size and model that’s right for you.

I can imagine that trying to choose a sex toy for the first time can be very overwhelming. Before, you’d walk into a sex shop, walk around, take a look at what interests you, and wait for someone at the store to come over with batteries so you could “feel how it vibrates” or let you “feel” the toy in your hands. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure that experience was better than browsing online… make sure you research products, look at the reviews and invest in a high-end product of unquestionable quality. You won’t regret it.