Toxic Femininity Has Long Reaching Ramifications

When #MeToo Goes Wrong

The fact that women can monetize stories of abuse and survival is an inconvenient truth.

Since 2006, there’s been consistently growing international coverage of sexual violence claims in Hollywood, in the adult industry, and all over the country. Yes, of course, the #MeToo movement has empowered and assisted innumerable women who are, in fact, survivors of abuse in finding some level of justice.

It’s been a powerful catalyst in the discourse of fourth-wave feminists who focus on achieving equality and justice for women- particularly those who have experienced sexual violence. The Fourth Wave of feminism started around 2012, and its use of social media has ushered in what has been described as a “callout” culture.

In 2017, the #MeToo hashtag went viral when celebrities accused powerful men in Hollywood of sexual abuse. The accusations were credible, verifiable, and fit in with our understanding of what “toxic masculinity” means and how common it is in our culture and society. The stories coming out weren’t hard to believe- there was no reason to even doubt- that these powerful men took advantage of their position to impose dominance, aggression, control, sexual aggression, and sexual control over vulnerable women. It’s almost to be expected because “boys will be boys,” right?

Yes, all over the world, every minute of every day, there are women surviving injustice, inequality, abuse, and sexual violence perpetrated by entitled, sexist men who view emotion and vulnerability as “unmanly.”

Expressions like “boys will be boys” normalize careless, aggressive, and damaging behavior in men instead of teaching them about responsibility and accountability. All of this is true- but it is also true that famous women, and women who want to be famous, are trying to benefit from the professional and financial benefits of victimhood. Unfortunately, the fourth wave and the “callout” culture it has created mean that these accusations are tried in the court of public opinion first- then, maybe, in a court of law. What does that mean for “innocent until proven guilty”?

• Fact - any woman who claims to be a victim immediately summons the sympathy of anyone and everyone who can relate to the reality of what it means to be a woman in our patriarchal society.
• Fact - since the beginning of time, women have been warning each other about how to deal with certain people and how to watch out for themselves.
• Fact - women can lie.
• Fact - in the court of public opinion, the “truth” is less important than clicks and a good story.

In 2015, James Deen’s ex-partner Stoya called him out, and the world was judge and jury in the court of public opinion.

She tweeted, “James Deen held me down and fucked me while I said no, stop, used my safeword...”

This guy was known as “the Ryan Gosling of porn” because he seemed to be smart, had seemingly feminist principles, broke into mainstream, and even traveled all over America speaking in high schools and colleges about sex education and consent!

People were listening, and as more women came forward and accused him of sexual abuse and rape, he addressed the allegations on Twitter, “I want to assure my friends, fans, and colleagues that these allegations are both false and defamatory. I respect women, and I know and respect limits both professionally and privately.”

Even though he was never formally charged, we decided he’s guilty, so the career and reputation of this adult film star will always be associated with rape.

• Fact - 1 in 5 women in the us experience completed or attempted rape.
• Fact - 81% of women in the us report experiencing some form of sexual harassment and/or assault.
• Fact - between 2% and 10% are false reports. fact- toxic femininity is as real and damaging as toxic masculinity.
• Fact - in this “callout” culture, women play the victim and lie to manipulate public opinion.

Traditional feminine qualities like compassion, kindness, and empathy can be toxic when used to undermine and manipulate others. Picture Amber Heard sobbing on the witness stand... that is a toxic and cynical manipulation of public opinion.

In 2020, there were around 126,430 reported rape cases in the US. Out of those, between 2,529 and 12,643 were false reports.

A recent example of this is Madysun Jacques (MJ FRE$H), who is popular on TikTok, claiming Jessy Jones roofied and raped her after an OnlyFans content shoot. She tried to invoke public sympathy by cashing in on her toxic femininity.

We, the court of public opinion, don’t know what happened that day.

As time goes by, we become more and more aware of the fact that some women are willing to make false accusations- not regardless of the consequences, but because of the social and professional consequences of labeling someone: an abuser. Back home, grandmothers always say, “not everything that shines is made of gold.”

While this movement has shone a light on how our society has always tolerated systematic sexism and sexual harassment/violence, it also created a “callout” culture where accusations are made with the intention of hurting and ruining people and careers. Often just to propel their own agendas in total disregard of how they’re affecting actual victims who need a voice and support. The sad truth is, people can be toxic, not everything we read online is true, and women can, and do, monetize stories of abuse and survival; #MeToo has gone wrong.