Starbucks Hates Porn

Starbucks To Block Porn In 2019

Well, maybe I'm being too hard on the coffee chain, I don't know if they really hate porn or not, but from now on you won't be able to get a double shot while watching some double penetration. Yep, Starbucks is going to be introducing some porn blockers on their free WiFi.

Honestly, I hadn't realized this was an actual problem, but then again I tend to get my coffee to go. I guess there's been mounting pressure of Starbucks to do something about people using their free internet to look at porn. In a statement the company said in part:

"To ensure the Third Place remains safe and welcoming to all, we have identified a solution to prevent this content from being viewed within our stores and we will begin introducing it to our US locations in 2019."

No details were given, but I know that would get to me stop looking at porn in a Starbucks, an older lady who reminds me of my mother walking around the store asking what people are looking at. I know that would get to me stop looking at porn in a Starbucks. Really, someone needs to jump on the whole porn and coffee fad, open a shop where people can get coffee and watch porn. Call it "The Double Shot."

So, you more muff diving while enjoying a muffin, no more extra pumps while watching someone get an extra pump, and more pumpkin spice lattes while watching anal sex. But hey, the cups are Christmas themed this year!

via Business Insider