Remaindered Smut

Where we attempt to condense a whole week's worth of posts into one page for your browsing convenience:

· If Janet Jackson's boob cost Viacom $550,000 in FCC penalties, just think how much a full-on pussy slip would've been! (Adrants)

· Trannie queen, artistic muse, and collagen implant poster gal Amanda Lapore has our favorite answering machine message ever. (.mp3 @ WOW Report)

· Pot? Kettle? Too good to be true? Christina allegedly bitch-slaps Britney's wedding: "This is like really low rent this time ... The whole affair seems somewhat pathetic." (femalefirst.co.uk)

· Meanwhile. Jessica Simpson takes the babies out for a night on the town. (photos @ santoalt.com)

· The New York Observer laments the demise of the fuck buddy: "God, they all turn out to be pussies these days, don
t they?" (observer.com, via Gawker)

· Ah, life in the military: government-subsidized boob jobs are fine, but you'll be court-martialed for visiting a prostitute while stationed overseas. (MSNBC - thanks Mike)

· We always thought 2004 Playmate of the Year Carmella DeCesare was more of a lover than a fighter - but we were wrong. (foxsports.com)

· Here's one good reason to vote Libertarian. Okay, maybe two good reasons. (rachelmills.com - thanks Leslie)

· What do you do when your girlfriend dumps you and leaves you with a $6,000 engagement ring? Why, post a revenge video on the internet, of course. (.wmv video @ uselessjunk.com - thanks Jean-Luc)

· Who knew that Argentinian soccer could be so exciting? Our money's on Las Diablitas. (photos @ barra-bravas.com.ar, via Attu)

· If the makers of the iRiver have anything to do with it, iPods won't be the only sexy personal listening devices in town anymore. (photo galleries @ iriveramerica.com - thanks Sanj)

· Worried about losing those Freshmen Fifteen? "Whack, don't snack!" - and other helpful tips from the Freshman Sex Diet (collegesexadvice.com)

· Seniors gone wild in Japanese homes for the elderly. Hopefully, no film at 11. (mainichi.co.jp)

· How to Eat Pussy and How to Suck Cock - because there's no excuse for not knowing how. (articles @ unclemelon.com and stacken.kth.se - thanks Dan)

· Talk about horny - enter the magical world of Penis Unicorns, if you dare. (t-shirt info @ lsdudes.com)

· It's all vaginas all the time at The Vagina Gallery! (photos and fun facts @ nawtythings.com, via YDM)

· Somewhat overrated sex blogger Belle De Jour hangs up her handcuffs, presumably to prep for multifigure book and movie deals. (belledejour-uk.blogspot.com - thanks Libby)

· Will a crack smoking stripper be the Next Big Thing at Double Viking? Only time will tell. (photos @ necrolounge.com)

· We knew what was really going on behind the scenes of "Saved by the Bell". "Sure, Slater, you can fuck me in the ass for $250!" (Flash w/sound @ kontraband.com)

· They may not back us up on the battlefield, but it
s nice to know the French still support what
s really important: a healthy appetite for drinking urine. (gay photo galleries @ pissdrinker.free.fr)

· And finally, behold the dirtiest photo set we've seen all week. Literally. (MetArt mud babes @ besthotbabes.com - thanks Leslie)