Morning Wood

· A reader sent us this tip with the subject line "Sorry if this curdles your morning coffee"—so if we had to start the day with a visit to Wild Bill's Udder Valley Ranch, we see no reason why you shouldn't have to do the same. (uddervalleyranch.com, via Awful Porn)

· Maybe Planned Parenthood should take a cue from this ad parody and advocate anal sex as a means of birth control after all: "It may not be the most comfortable thing in the world, but it will hurt a whole lot less than squeezing a newborn out of your crotch nine months later." (geneffects.com)

· Has one of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit models been photographed wearing a falsie—or is it simply a breast implant gone horribly awry? Take a look at this pic of Mallory Snyder and judge for yourself. (sportsillustrated.cnn.com - thanks Yowza)

· Russian DJ girls rock the house. Who knew Moscow had such a sexed up club scene these days? (clubmusic.domoset.ru, via Your Dirty Mind)

· Drunkenblog posts an update regarding that Naked Czech Computer Geek site we posted about last month, complete with commentary from its creator: "No sex hidden meaning but a lot of fun and a lot of good friends". (drunkenblog.com - thanks Mathew)

· Hustler contract gal Jessica Jaymes will appear in her first girl/guy scene in "The Porn Identity", out next month. Sorry, folks, it's not with Nick Lachey. (AVN; more on Nick and Jessica here)