Morning Wood

Good morning—the site you know as Fleshbot has now been taken over by me, Miss Violet Blue. Like a wanton hussy, Fleshbot has been passed around and manhandled all week to finally end up in my own loving yet stern hands—and I'll be here to caress, pinch, spank and nibble it into shape over the next few days. Let's get our Morning Wood on, shall we? -V. Blue

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· Another blow for porn, but not the kind I like—the big U.K. porn and sex culture event that coincides with the Fringe Festival, "Festival Erotique", has been dumped. Let me remove my rubber kitty mask and bow over my keyboard for a moment of sorrow. Oh, c'mon, you think Assistant Editors like me are allowed to do this job in slippers and pajamas? (Scotsman)

· And as long as I have my rubber mask off in sorrow, I'll mourn an extra minute over the passing of Bob Zak, owner and founder of GwenMedia. Today, my whip will crack at half-mast. (AVN)

· While I think the distinctions between "love of" and "sexual attraction to" are humorously arbitrary in a world of macrophilia and hoplophilia, I'm really glad that thanks to -phila I can get my paraphilias in order. (Wikipedia)

· But I see there's no entry for toe-sucking, for which it seems Ben Affleck has a very strong affinity. I'll help: "shrimpaphilia." Ew. (Defamer)

· When you want to attract women to a mostly-male locale, you spray your whole town with something stinky they can't resist—or at least that's what happens in yet another naughty-yet-humorous Axe commercial. Of course, here in San Francisco that might work in a different, yet totally desirable, way... (Adrants)

· Or, buy them a pair of Pierced Attachable Nipples from Amazon.com (no "risk, pain or commitment"). Actually, maybe you shouldn't, but I'm glad to see they really do sell everything on Amazon. (Amazon)

· Whatever you do, please feed Lindsay Lohan, otherwise there might not be any nipples left on her to accidentally slip out of a plunging decolletage and for me to make breaking news out of. My job is on the line, people. (feedlindsay.com, via Celebrity Smack)

· How come everyone else's government is more fun? India's officials are behind developing vibratory condoms with small chips in them to increase pleasure, ostensibly to encourage condom use. I'd like to volunteer for the beta version, please. (India Times, via Viviane's Sex Carnival)

Thumbnail via GwenMedia

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives / Wet Spots Archives